Today is my last day off work for the Christmas period. Tomorrow I have to go back. Grim to the eXtreme. I spent my final day off with my family. Well, the majority of the day was spent going over my mothers childminding information before her Ofsted inspection. If I hear the words encouragement and development again I may scream. Luckily there was champagne and spaghetti bolognaise on hand to balance it out. And Leo love chunks.
Me: I am clearly the clever one of the family since all I seem to do is check and do other peoples homework.
Lulu: I think that makes you the stoooopid one of the family.
Today was actually also the first day since Christmas that my whole family were in a room together again drinking. Jamie lives in Tooting now, Toby is often out… Was nice. Dad attempted to take a family photo with the timer. OMG they were grim. Obviously the angle and the lighting was what made me look 20 stone and wearing beige tights instead of black leggings.
Jamie: In my freezer I have 2 Martini glasses, some Vermouth, some Gin and some ice. I have become addicted to martinis to the point that Jonty tried to put a chicken in the freezer the other day and I was well cross.
Me: Does he like a martini too? Is that why you have the spare glass?
Jamie: No, that one is in case I have a guest.
Mum: Sure, it is so that he can switch glasses between drinks to ice them up!
I told my dad that I had got a tattoo.
Dad: Why would you do something like that?
Me: Er.. I just fancied it. You can’t see it.
Dad: Yeh, so why get it?
Me: Er.. Dunno.
I still love my tattoo though and am ready for mah bleeve!
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Monday, 23 August 2010
June Hudson 15/08/32 - 15/08/10
Despite being only 4”11, June was one of the biggest characters in our family. At family gatherings her stories, and the way that she delivered them, commanded the attention of the entire room. One of the more recent gems involved a blind man passing his driving test. Preparing this speech, we went through a number of June’s different tales and laughed our heads off. We tried to write them down to retell but they were all either too scandalous or politically incorrect to repeat to a room full of people.
June had a wicked sense of humour. She always told Mark that he was her favourite son-in-law. It took a while (a long while) for him to realise he was her only son-in-law.
When asked to give Ken a break from bossing him about she promptly picked up her cane and said she would give him a break, “right over the top of his head”. However, often when he left the room on an errand she would lean in close, lower her voice (not something she did too often) and say how lovely he was, and that he took great care of her and how well he does. As soon as he walked back in the room she would pass judgement on his task mastering. Flower arrangement? Or, as she put it, “WHAT flower arrangement?”
Everything about June was immaculate: her house, garden and appearance. She did not tolerate disorder or mess. In spite of this, she absolutely adored her dog Taffy. Indeed, it was not family photos displayed at her hospital bedside, but a lovely big portrait of Taffy, the most chaotic and energetic thing allowed to enter her house in a long time. When Ken dared to suggest that maybe Taffy might be too hard to handle she told him she would rather get rid of him than the dog.
June was extremely artistic and creative and this shone through in her beautiful garden and all of her artwork. In her last few weeks she made duvet covers, cushions, a skirt and baked a cake. This is more than most of us could ever really manage to achieve.
Except for her known hatred of thunderstorms, she always seemed fearless. We will never forget her standing in front of our 2 large dogs, both of which individually outweighed her by a good 3 stone waving a bag of sausage treats and commenting on how lovely they were as they were revving up ready to charge.
June was always interested in and proud of our achievements and what we had been up to. If we ever broke any news to her a thoughtful card in the post would follow saying how happy she was for us. It’s very strange to think of how different our family is now going to be, or to imagine family events without the powerhouse that was June holding court and making us all laugh.
Monday, 9 August 2010
fists up
Sophie has a Flickr account. She put some photos up recently of us lot. Some guy called Diego 'favourited' a picture of my brother. It is great fun to tease Jamie about this, although HE says Diego is not after his butt and more is a very good photographer with an eye for a good photo.
Me: I think Diego has printed that photo and laminated it
Jamie: *Half not listening* What's wrong with laminating? I love laminating things. I laminate everything at the church (where he works).
Explaining why we were all laughing was super fun.
It was Sophuses birthday. By her next birthday she will be a mumma. How odd is that. Can't wait.
I have managed to keep up body pump classes. Even though they are on Friday nights.
Mum: So, tonight... are you going to go body pump and then body hump!??!!!11!
Me: Jesus Christ mother... huh. That sounds good actually.
So I went to G's where he told me he is thinking about becoming Muslim. It made me laugh A LOT when he sat bolt upright in the morning at 10 with FUCK!
Me: O god what?!!
G: I forgot to go pray.
HAHAH. This was possibly a lot more funny at the time.
Baby Megs had her vaccinations.
Ruth: She screamed and screamed.
Me: I am glad that she screams when some stranger stabs her with a needle. Bet she was proper good at it too.
Ruth: Yeah she put her fists up too.
Me: Her mighty aunt is proper proud.
I snuggled her on Sunday and she smiled at me. First smile! Absolutely amazing.
Me: I think Diego has printed that photo and laminated it
Jamie: *Half not listening* What's wrong with laminating? I love laminating things. I laminate everything at the church (where he works).
Explaining why we were all laughing was super fun.
It was Sophuses birthday. By her next birthday she will be a mumma. How odd is that. Can't wait.
I have managed to keep up body pump classes. Even though they are on Friday nights.
Mum: So, tonight... are you going to go body pump and then body hump!??!!!11!
Me: Jesus Christ mother... huh. That sounds good actually.
So I went to G's where he told me he is thinking about becoming Muslim. It made me laugh A LOT when he sat bolt upright in the morning at 10 with FUCK!
Me: O god what?!!
G: I forgot to go pray.
HAHAH. This was possibly a lot more funny at the time.
Baby Megs had her vaccinations.
Ruth: She screamed and screamed.
Me: I am glad that she screams when some stranger stabs her with a needle. Bet she was proper good at it too.
Ruth: Yeah she put her fists up too.
Me: Her mighty aunt is proper proud.
I snuggled her on Sunday and she smiled at me. First smile! Absolutely amazing.
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
splish splash i was takin a bath
On Sunday I met my pal Liz for a dog walk. She said the magic words (bacon sadwich) and I was there. I was slightly worried because my parents dogs are raving lunatics and the size of ponies. Which is a bad combination. But all was well and Lilly the lab charmed the pants off of them and they were all very well behaved.
Monty is a water dog. Unfortunately he is now an elderly water dog and streams and rivers and lakes that he would joyfully bound in he struggles to get out of. This happened in the muddiest ditchiest deepest under a bridge swamp land. I had to go and rescue him. I was wearing a nice Monsoon summer dress. Filthy. And my face. And my arms. And legs. I was like a spa victim. It is just sheer luck that I did not fall in.
We went for a lovely ramble through the woods and to a gorgeous lake. Liz was like, we just have to wait for the ducklings to swim away and then we can... SPLASH. My heffalump hounds were in. The biggest belly flops you ever did see. Ducklings scattered in all directions on a tidal wave of dirty water. Lilly gracefully slipped in. Those dogs fetched sticks and swam for ages and the whole surrounding area was absolutely ruined. Chewed sticks everywhere, mud and half the lake. That is when we decided to go home. It was rough dirty fun.
When I got home, I had just enough time to shower before Ruth and baby Megs came round. Ruth said Megs was crying because the house smelt like shit and she was right. Boris likes to perfume himself with the stench of death and decay. I locked him in the garden for a bit. I can’t believe Megs is now 7 weeks old. She is too cute and tiny and snuggable. Can’t wait to meet Baby Fabe.
Then Lulu, Ma and Pa came home and we drank champagne.Because Lulu birthdays are 4 day affairs.
Then I went to work today and shared a bottle of champagne from a patient with my boss. He has been waiting for a whole week to drink it and tonight I finally allowed it to be opened. Too exciting. This morning he was raving about someone who wrote something annoying to him. He was like, why are you not annoyed about this? Why does this not totally work you up? And I was all, a lot of caring is used up on myself, innit. And that is true. I am really not bothered about people outside my sphere of family and friends. I mean seriously, have you seen the spots on my chin?
Monty is a water dog. Unfortunately he is now an elderly water dog and streams and rivers and lakes that he would joyfully bound in he struggles to get out of. This happened in the muddiest ditchiest deepest under a bridge swamp land. I had to go and rescue him. I was wearing a nice Monsoon summer dress. Filthy. And my face. And my arms. And legs. I was like a spa victim. It is just sheer luck that I did not fall in.
We went for a lovely ramble through the woods and to a gorgeous lake. Liz was like, we just have to wait for the ducklings to swim away and then we can... SPLASH. My heffalump hounds were in. The biggest belly flops you ever did see. Ducklings scattered in all directions on a tidal wave of dirty water. Lilly gracefully slipped in. Those dogs fetched sticks and swam for ages and the whole surrounding area was absolutely ruined. Chewed sticks everywhere, mud and half the lake. That is when we decided to go home. It was rough dirty fun.
When I got home, I had just enough time to shower before Ruth and baby Megs came round. Ruth said Megs was crying because the house smelt like shit and she was right. Boris likes to perfume himself with the stench of death and decay. I locked him in the garden for a bit. I can’t believe Megs is now 7 weeks old. She is too cute and tiny and snuggable. Can’t wait to meet Baby Fabe.
Then Lulu, Ma and Pa came home and we drank champagne.Because Lulu birthdays are 4 day affairs.
Then I went to work today and shared a bottle of champagne from a patient with my boss. He has been waiting for a whole week to drink it and tonight I finally allowed it to be opened. Too exciting. This morning he was raving about someone who wrote something annoying to him. He was like, why are you not annoyed about this? Why does this not totally work you up? And I was all, a lot of caring is used up on myself, innit. And that is true. I am really not bothered about people outside my sphere of family and friends. I mean seriously, have you seen the spots on my chin?
Monday, 19 July 2010
the land of the scots and heather
Well. It has been a very busy few days.
On Thursday night it was birthday drinks for Lulu who was almost 18. As dad says, old enough to buy us all a pint. Which is the most important thing. There was family, pizza and beer. Although the pizza didnt stick around for long because Boris is a ninja.
On Friday Lulu was taken to Scotland. Our aunts were born in Scotland and apparently Lulu bombarded them with messages such as: I need a wee. How do you say toilet in Scottish? (To which my aunt was replying, I am going to mash you). I decided to leave work early and walk the dogs. Obviously it was the day that I forgot my door key so I had to trek to my brothers work and home again and by that point I may as well have just finished work at the regular time. I walked the dogs with G because he was all, I would love to walk a dog, and I was all...dude. That is easily arranged. He loved holding Monty.
On Saturday my friend Heather took me to the gym. I have told her that I need to lose weight for her wedding in Cyprus in September and she has made it her mission to gym buddy me. She is one scary mother though and I thought she was going to kill me. I had my induction (when I joined a previous gym I asked for an ugly woman to show me round. Obv Hevs picks the hottest man. Him – So why are you joining the gym. Me – Oh. For entirely glamorous reasons..).
After the induction Heather was like, so, what shall we do now? And I was all, sit by the pool and have a chat? So. That was the wrong answer. Ok. 10 minutes on the cross trainer. Just whilst we are here. And I prefer it if you didn’t hold on. Puff puff. Ok. Just 10 minutes on the treadmill. Oh. Piece of piss! I can walk for England. Appaz not on an incline of MOUNTAIN going at a slow jog. Just 10 minutes was the longest 10 minutes of my life. Then we went on the power plate. I was all, yay, this one is the celebrity one that you just stand on and it does the work for you. Not in Heather land. In Heather land you hold a sit up on it, and a squat, and you feel the burn like nothing before. Although I was kept amused by some guy who was just lying on it. I tell you something though. Make sure you have gone to the toilet in all departments before you get on because everything gets shaken loose. As it were. *Ahem*
Luckily my treat was then going for a swim. Which I totally heart. I love swimming. Especially in a beautiful clean empty outdoor heated pool. And then in the jacuzzi. Then the steam room. And then a guilty squeeze of all spots that were steamed loose.
After the gym, we went to the gym cafe. I joked I was going to order a bottle of red and some cheesecake – which was randomly on the menu – but after a stern look from Heather I ordered the jacket potato.
Then my pallios came over for a drink and some pasta in the evening. Living at home makes it easy to host last minute glamorous alfresco dinner parties as my mother has hundreds of cute bowels and plates and outdoor furniture and lamps and candles.
Slept like the dead. Muscles woke me up in the morning. Every single one of them.
On Thursday night it was birthday drinks for Lulu who was almost 18. As dad says, old enough to buy us all a pint. Which is the most important thing. There was family, pizza and beer. Although the pizza didnt stick around for long because Boris is a ninja.
On Friday Lulu was taken to Scotland. Our aunts were born in Scotland and apparently Lulu bombarded them with messages such as: I need a wee. How do you say toilet in Scottish? (To which my aunt was replying, I am going to mash you). I decided to leave work early and walk the dogs. Obviously it was the day that I forgot my door key so I had to trek to my brothers work and home again and by that point I may as well have just finished work at the regular time. I walked the dogs with G because he was all, I would love to walk a dog, and I was all...dude. That is easily arranged. He loved holding Monty.
On Saturday my friend Heather took me to the gym. I have told her that I need to lose weight for her wedding in Cyprus in September and she has made it her mission to gym buddy me. She is one scary mother though and I thought she was going to kill me. I had my induction (when I joined a previous gym I asked for an ugly woman to show me round. Obv Hevs picks the hottest man. Him – So why are you joining the gym. Me – Oh. For entirely glamorous reasons..).
After the induction Heather was like, so, what shall we do now? And I was all, sit by the pool and have a chat? So. That was the wrong answer. Ok. 10 minutes on the cross trainer. Just whilst we are here. And I prefer it if you didn’t hold on. Puff puff. Ok. Just 10 minutes on the treadmill. Oh. Piece of piss! I can walk for England. Appaz not on an incline of MOUNTAIN going at a slow jog. Just 10 minutes was the longest 10 minutes of my life. Then we went on the power plate. I was all, yay, this one is the celebrity one that you just stand on and it does the work for you. Not in Heather land. In Heather land you hold a sit up on it, and a squat, and you feel the burn like nothing before. Although I was kept amused by some guy who was just lying on it. I tell you something though. Make sure you have gone to the toilet in all departments before you get on because everything gets shaken loose. As it were. *Ahem*
Luckily my treat was then going for a swim. Which I totally heart. I love swimming. Especially in a beautiful clean empty outdoor heated pool. And then in the jacuzzi. Then the steam room. And then a guilty squeeze of all spots that were steamed loose.
After the gym, we went to the gym cafe. I joked I was going to order a bottle of red and some cheesecake – which was randomly on the menu – but after a stern look from Heather I ordered the jacket potato.
Then my pallios came over for a drink and some pasta in the evening. Living at home makes it easy to host last minute glamorous alfresco dinner parties as my mother has hundreds of cute bowels and plates and outdoor furniture and lamps and candles.
Slept like the dead. Muscles woke me up in the morning. Every single one of them.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
hillbilly rock
I have moved back home for a bit until I move in with friends. So far it is working out ok.
Things I have heard:
STOP PISSING ON MY RHUBARB!
The box says you can leave a thin layer on overnight, or a fat layer on for 10 minutes. I am leaving a medium layer on for 5 hours because I do not follow the rules.
As well as this, my washing is done every night, my little sister makes evening cups of tea and my mum cooked a delicious lamb curry for dinner.
Things I have heard:
STOP PISSING ON MY RHUBARB!
The box says you can leave a thin layer on overnight, or a fat layer on for 10 minutes. I am leaving a medium layer on for 5 hours because I do not follow the rules.
As well as this, my washing is done every night, my little sister makes evening cups of tea and my mum cooked a delicious lamb curry for dinner.
Saturday, 14 March 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBY
Me: This morning on the way to the station I got a clearer look at the guy who wears a pink cowboy hat and says hello. The hat isn't actually pink but more a reddish snakeskin. I don't think it is especially an improvement.
Also, when I got to work, there was an old man standing outside the station holding a small sign in the air saying: JESUS. I desperately wanted to go: "Where??!!" But I didn't.
Sophie: FYI cowboy hat man was vomming as I went past and searching for something in the vom. The newsagents kicked him out.
Sadie: Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD! What could have POSSIBLY been in there that he might want.
Me: Very glad I didn't snog him then.
Sadie: Snorting!!!!!!
Me: Even though he is polite and yesterday told me he liked my dress, the drunken slurring and rambling put me off.
Sophie: Well, I believe this is what happened:
He walked to the newsagents
Tried to buy alcohol with coppers
Was turned away
Started his very slow walk back (he has a limp leg)
Puked and dropped coppers
Etc
I feel quite sorry for him to be honest. He told Matt is was his birthday the other day and that he should buy him a drink.
Sadie: Lord, life must be hard when coppers are that important to you. So what would I wade through sick for I wonder..............
Sophie: At least a fiver.
Sadie: Funny dude!
Sophie: Hm but true.
Unless it was that dude’s sick.
It depends if it is my own. I may even fish in a family member’s for a fiver but absolutely no way that dude from this morn.
Sadie: I'm so glad you draw the line somewhere.
I hope Toby appreciates this post in honour of his birthday.
Also, when I got to work, there was an old man standing outside the station holding a small sign in the air saying: JESUS. I desperately wanted to go: "Where??!!" But I didn't.
Sophie: FYI cowboy hat man was vomming as I went past and searching for something in the vom. The newsagents kicked him out.
Sadie: Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD! What could have POSSIBLY been in there that he might want.
Me: Very glad I didn't snog him then.
Sadie: Snorting!!!!!!
Me: Even though he is polite and yesterday told me he liked my dress, the drunken slurring and rambling put me off.
Sophie: Well, I believe this is what happened:
He walked to the newsagents
Tried to buy alcohol with coppers
Was turned away
Started his very slow walk back (he has a limp leg)
Puked and dropped coppers
Etc
I feel quite sorry for him to be honest. He told Matt is was his birthday the other day and that he should buy him a drink.
Sadie: Lord, life must be hard when coppers are that important to you. So what would I wade through sick for I wonder..............
Sophie: At least a fiver.
Sadie: Funny dude!
Sophie: Hm but true.
Unless it was that dude’s sick.
It depends if it is my own. I may even fish in a family member’s for a fiver but absolutely no way that dude from this morn.
Sadie: I'm so glad you draw the line somewhere.
I hope Toby appreciates this post in honour of his birthday.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Matts baby
Comments on my Facebook 'Clyde' albums' newest photo addition:
Lisa: As soon as I saw this album had been updated I got all excited that it'd be Clyde in the snow!!!!! He's giving you the evil eye though... I bet you ran away sharpish when he was let loose after having his picture taken!!!!
Me: HAHA!! Lisa, it was far too blimmin cold for me to go and lark about in the snow taking pictures. I don't think Clyde was even out there for too long, he likes visiting the crazy house next door. He was soaking the whole house though every time he dashed in and out.
Annette: I don't think the weight control biscuits are working.
Lisa: You haven't put poor Clyde on a diet?????
Me: HAHA! Matt bought ONE box of weight control biscuits to 2 normal. PLUS, moments after this photo, Matt fed Clyde an extra meal because he 'felt sorry for him getting wet playing in the snow.' He should be careful, Clyde probably weighs about the same as him. "Poor Clyde." MOST amusing
Sophie: Look how big his foot is. Not to mention his evil eyes.
Annette: Don't say such horrible things about my baby boy!
Matt: Harsh!
Sophie: Just now...
*THUMP CRASH*
Matt: Clyde
Matt: CLYDE!
Clyde: ....
Matt: Clyde, are Clyde's allowed up there? Get Down
Clyde: ....
Matt: It's ok, I'll gently lift you down.
Clyde:...
Lisa: As soon as I saw this album had been updated I got all excited that it'd be Clyde in the snow!!!!! He's giving you the evil eye though... I bet you ran away sharpish when he was let loose after having his picture taken!!!!
Me: HAHA!! Lisa, it was far too blimmin cold for me to go and lark about in the snow taking pictures. I don't think Clyde was even out there for too long, he likes visiting the crazy house next door. He was soaking the whole house though every time he dashed in and out.
Annette: I don't think the weight control biscuits are working.
Lisa: You haven't put poor Clyde on a diet?????
Me: HAHA! Matt bought ONE box of weight control biscuits to 2 normal. PLUS, moments after this photo, Matt fed Clyde an extra meal because he 'felt sorry for him getting wet playing in the snow.' He should be careful, Clyde probably weighs about the same as him. "Poor Clyde." MOST amusing
Sophie: Look how big his foot is. Not to mention his evil eyes.
Annette: Don't say such horrible things about my baby boy!
Matt: Harsh!
Sophie: Just now...
*THUMP CRASH*
Matt: Clyde
Matt: CLYDE!
Clyde: ....
Matt: Clyde, are Clyde's allowed up there? Get Down
Clyde: ....
Matt: It's ok, I'll gently lift you down.
Clyde:...
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Prehistoric Matt
Friday
Met Sophie and Matt in Asda for a Big Shop. I think it helps living with people and budgeting with people who are Amusing. For e.g. Asda was packed and the aisles were crammed with people and trollies. It was easier to leave your trolly at the end of the aisle and grab what you wanted. Then go hunt down Matt and his bobbly head as he wanders off with the trolly you thought you'd left next to the toilet rolls. We had McDonalds for dinner. Bloody delicious.
Saturday
Went shopping with Sophie for Matts birthday present and other peoples and bla bla. We'd made a list of everything we needed and yet still ended up wandering round and round, going into the same shops numerous times.
That evening, ma and pa and Lol came over for Matt's birthday and give him the Wii Guitar World Band Tour thingy game we'd all chipped in for. Carrying that thing round Enfield was awkward in the extreme.
I think he liked it though.
Plus Sophie has got really good at making chicken Korma. It was absolutely delicious. And so were the homemade onion bhajis.
Mum made a birthday cake and bought 24 candles. It took us at LEAST 5 minutes to light them all. Then Matt blew them out and someone made me relight them all so that they could take a photo.
Sunday
Matt and Sophie went to the cinema and out for dinner for Matt's birthday. I was told I was allowed an orgy of up to 6 men OR as many dwarves/midgets as I liked. Instead I was visited by almost the OPPOSITE of a midget orgy as Ruth and her FIANCE came over to show me her engagement ring and her new car. So happy for her/them. Apparently Ruth's dad (my Uncle Buck) told Andy he had had a fight with the ugly stick. Twice. And lost. Welcome to the family.
Later that evening, I heard Sophie and Matt coming down the drive. I went to open the door. And waited with the door open for about 10 minutes. I was like, what is holding them up???!!!! Writing 'boobs' on my car in the snow.
Monday
Woke up to snow. A whole lot of snow. Buses were cancelled. Sophie and Matt rejoiced. No news on my tube line. Put on my wellies, packed my lunch and went out. As I walked along, snow soaking me, no difference between road and pavement, falling into snow drifts... etc etc... I thought, this is RIDICULOUS. When I got to the station, it was closed. YES!!!!!!!!! SNOW! DAY!
It was quite eerie actually as there was almost no traffic and it was totally silent. I trudged back home and had a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich with Sophie and Matt. Then we all rocked out on Matt's World Tour drums and guitar. Great fun. Then we had birthday cake. Then we had a nap. Pasta. More birthday cake.... It was a GREAT day.
Met Sophie and Matt in Asda for a Big Shop. I think it helps living with people and budgeting with people who are Amusing. For e.g. Asda was packed and the aisles were crammed with people and trollies. It was easier to leave your trolly at the end of the aisle and grab what you wanted. Then go hunt down Matt and his bobbly head as he wanders off with the trolly you thought you'd left next to the toilet rolls. We had McDonalds for dinner. Bloody delicious.
Saturday
Went shopping with Sophie for Matts birthday present and other peoples and bla bla. We'd made a list of everything we needed and yet still ended up wandering round and round, going into the same shops numerous times.
That evening, ma and pa and Lol came over for Matt's birthday and give him the Wii Guitar World Band Tour thingy game we'd all chipped in for. Carrying that thing round Enfield was awkward in the extreme.
I think he liked it though.
Plus Sophie has got really good at making chicken Korma. It was absolutely delicious. And so were the homemade onion bhajis. Mum made a birthday cake and bought 24 candles. It took us at LEAST 5 minutes to light them all. Then Matt blew them out and someone made me relight them all so that they could take a photo.
Sunday
Matt and Sophie went to the cinema and out for dinner for Matt's birthday. I was told I was allowed an orgy of up to 6 men OR as many dwarves/midgets as I liked. Instead I was visited by almost the OPPOSITE of a midget orgy as Ruth and her FIANCE came over to show me her engagement ring and her new car. So happy for her/them. Apparently Ruth's dad (my Uncle Buck) told Andy he had had a fight with the ugly stick. Twice. And lost. Welcome to the family.
Later that evening, I heard Sophie and Matt coming down the drive. I went to open the door. And waited with the door open for about 10 minutes. I was like, what is holding them up???!!!! Writing 'boobs' on my car in the snow.
Monday
Woke up to snow. A whole lot of snow. Buses were cancelled. Sophie and Matt rejoiced. No news on my tube line. Put on my wellies, packed my lunch and went out. As I walked along, snow soaking me, no difference between road and pavement, falling into snow drifts... etc etc... I thought, this is RIDICULOUS. When I got to the station, it was closed. YES!!!!!!!!! SNOW! DAY!
It was quite eerie actually as there was almost no traffic and it was totally silent. I trudged back home and had a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich with Sophie and Matt. Then we all rocked out on Matt's World Tour drums and guitar. Great fun. Then we had birthday cake. Then we had a nap. Pasta. More birthday cake.... It was a GREAT day. 
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Monday, 24 November 2008
things
I met my ex work colleagues for a drink on Friday night. It was a really good evening. The pub we go to has 3 floors. We normally sit at the floor with the bar. On Friday the pub was absolutely RAMMED. I guess people have started meeting up for Christmas drinks and getting in the festive spirit. We were relegated to the downstairs layer which is where the pool tables are. It is pretty small down there and there were some amusing comments about balls and sticks. And that is because the predictable jokes are the funniest.
When I got to the station to go home, I accidentally stood near a total nutter. He was sitting on the bench and randomly swearing. Not tourettes I don't think but just random swearing. He sidled up and leaned on the wall next to me.
Hi. Shit fuck
Me: Hm. Hi.
Him: I like your shoes. Shit
Me: Thanks...
Him: And I like your dress. FUCK.
Me: Thanks.
Him: This isn't working at all, is it?
Me: Sorry?
Him: I'm not impressing you at all am I? Shit. Fuck.
Me: Um. No.
Then the train came and he got on it. I decided to wait until the next one.
On Saturday Sophie cooked some pasta and garlic bread for lunch. It was yum. The plumber came over. I hid from him. He did a fantastic job but I thought he was really odd. And I couldn't understand a WORD he said. When he called I panicked and gave the phone to Matt. Matt seemed to understand him. He was replying anyhow. When he hung up though he said he had no idea what the plumber had said but he thought he might be coming round to fix the sink.
After he had been, me and Sophie decided to leave Matt to his homework and wander to the shops. Luckily for us there was nothing we wanted to buy so we picked up some potatoes and came home. Garlic kievs for dinner and a glass of wine
We were proper garlicking it up round ours. Then we had our usual Saturday night of Strictly and X-Factor 
and then Sophie and Matt went to bed to watch FBI Files because they are a pair of sadsacks. Them looking almost attractive 
On Sunday we decided to support our farmers and so headed to the local farmers market.
Sophie: But, it's all so . . dirty. . .
As you can imagine, this came as a real shock to me and Matthew. We bought some chops and sausages anyway
and a whole heap of fruit and veg 
We also sampled a sausage, and Sophie and Matt blended in with the surrounding bumpkins 
Then we went to Morissons to stock up on some essentials 
and a festive Poinsettia 
When we got home, the early morning jaunt meant it was definitely time for a nap 
In the evening, we went over to Mum and Dads for dinner. Mum has been cooking up a storm lately and last nights goat cheese and vegetable lasagna was delicious. And the Guinness cake was fantastic. Man. I could eat that now. Had a lovely evening in front of the fire reminiscing about what a maniac Lulu was when she was younger. Good times. Then mum gave us a nice basket to take home as a bed for Clyde because all we have given him is a cardboard box to sleep in. We're mean like that. I think he liked it.
When I got to the station to go home, I accidentally stood near a total nutter. He was sitting on the bench and randomly swearing. Not tourettes I don't think but just random swearing. He sidled up and leaned on the wall next to me.
Hi. Shit fuck
Me: Hm. Hi.
Him: I like your shoes. Shit
Me: Thanks...
Him: And I like your dress. FUCK.
Me: Thanks.
Him: This isn't working at all, is it?
Me: Sorry?
Him: I'm not impressing you at all am I? Shit. Fuck.
Me: Um. No.
Then the train came and he got on it. I decided to wait until the next one.
On Saturday Sophie cooked some pasta and garlic bread for lunch. It was yum. The plumber came over. I hid from him. He did a fantastic job but I thought he was really odd. And I couldn't understand a WORD he said. When he called I panicked and gave the phone to Matt. Matt seemed to understand him. He was replying anyhow. When he hung up though he said he had no idea what the plumber had said but he thought he might be coming round to fix the sink.
After he had been, me and Sophie decided to leave Matt to his homework and wander to the shops. Luckily for us there was nothing we wanted to buy so we picked up some potatoes and came home. Garlic kievs for dinner and a glass of wine
We were proper garlicking it up round ours. Then we had our usual Saturday night of Strictly and X-Factor 
and then Sophie and Matt went to bed to watch FBI Files because they are a pair of sadsacks. Them looking almost attractive 
On Sunday we decided to support our farmers and so headed to the local farmers market.
Sophie: But, it's all so . . dirty. . . As you can imagine, this came as a real shock to me and Matthew. We bought some chops and sausages anyway
and a whole heap of fruit and veg 
We also sampled a sausage, and Sophie and Matt blended in with the surrounding bumpkins 
Then we went to Morissons to stock up on some essentials 
and a festive Poinsettia 
When we got home, the early morning jaunt meant it was definitely time for a nap 
In the evening, we went over to Mum and Dads for dinner. Mum has been cooking up a storm lately and last nights goat cheese and vegetable lasagna was delicious. And the Guinness cake was fantastic. Man. I could eat that now. Had a lovely evening in front of the fire reminiscing about what a maniac Lulu was when she was younger. Good times. Then mum gave us a nice basket to take home as a bed for Clyde because all we have given him is a cardboard box to sleep in. We're mean like that. I think he liked it.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Happy Birthday Jamie
Today is my brothers 22nd birthday. On Saturday night, mum invited some people over for drinks and food and told me and Sophie to make him a cake. We decided to make him a banana cake because we knew it was one of his favourites. Also, it seemed pretty simple. And the Nigella recipe we chose said: This is a very Forgiving recipe. Which me and Sophie are plenty glad for. Making the cake did not start well as we had forgotten to buy any eggs and I had to run out in the rain wearing the most eclectic outfit ever, plus the night befores eye make-up. Luckily the general populace of our local area is crazy and so to go out the house looking mental is just a case of blending in.
Then came the task of weighing out our ingredients. We didn't realise we owned weighing scales until we had worked out how much sugar we needed through math (what is 175+175? 250?), marking out rough halves and quarters and badgers. Then we remember (I remembered) that we had been amazingly proficient in our first IKEA shop and had purchased some scales. I guess it was a sixth sense that knew, 5 months down the line, we would make a banana cake.
Nigella said, put your butter and sugar in a bowl and let the mixer machine do the rest. Well. We did not have a machine that worked without someone holding it and were using a large fruit bowl. This meant that butter and sugar were being flicked all over the shop. Including into Sophie's tea. Which she weren't too happy about. Sophie then tried melting the butter a bit by putting the bowl into hot water. Obviously doing this our way simply meant plunging the bowl into the frothy washing up water. It didn't really work.
Next came blending in the eggs. Something disgusting fell out one of the eggs and I had to interrupt the creaming and blending to dry heave into the sink.
Sophie: The recipe says mash the bananas *slices the bananas and thwacks with the back of the knife* MASHED
Then we had to decide which tin to cook our cake in. Banana cake is typically a loaf and we had bread tins but we didn't want to make him a banana loaf, we wanted to make him a cake. We also had a huge roasting tin. This was too big. So. We did what anyone normal would do and put the loaf tin at the end of the roasting tin and covered it all in grease proof paper. Sophie made me butter the grease proof paper. I was all, why are we buttering grease proof paper? And she said, THIS IS WHAT THE RECIPE SAYS. But when I read the recipe afterwards it said grease the tin and put the paper on top. This was one of many things that could have affected our cake which didn't. It really was a very forgiving recipe.
After we poured our batter in the makeshift cake tin and put it in the oven, Sophie left to go to the Opticians. This made me very nervous as I had to watch the cake. But. After 75 minutes, it was done. I made Matt check it was done as well. It was definitely done.
When Sophie came home, and the cake had cooled, we removed it from the tin. Because the loaf tin didn't entirely cover the end of the roasting tin, some of the cake mix had seeped down the sides. Sophie decided to square the cake up a bit. I don't know why we allowed this since she will freely admit she can't cut straight for shit. Luckily, whilst her cutting was slightly skew whiff, the cake looked fantastic. We all tried a piece of the bit she cut off to make sure. It is vital to do this. You should also lick the batter spoons etc along the way. Just to make sure you do not poison your brother with his own birthday cake.
Then we iced the cake. I used nearly a whole box of icing sugar.
Me: Sophie. Iced cakes are SO unhealthy!!! I've just tipped a whole box of pure sugar over our cake!
Sophie: Well, more like, cakes in general are unhealthy Ro.
We made sure all the cake, top and sides, were covered with icing. Icing covers every flaw and it pretty fantastic. Then Sophie wrote happy birthday on the top and drew a ninja banana. For some reason my brother thinks he is a ninja. It is best not to question these things.
In all, the cake was perfect and Jamie enjoyed it. As did everyone else. Although I have to say, next to my mothers cakes, ours looked unbelievably home made. Whatevs though. She is just a big show off.
The party was brilliant. Mum and Dad emptied out and cleaned the shed and put in a gas fire, a heater and loads of candles. My little sister printed out some posters and me and my dad nailed them on the walls. It had a table and chairs and cushions inside and looked better than some of the places me and So and Hawk looked at to rent.
There was also a massive fire pit on the patio, which noone fell in, so that was a bonus. And there was a TON of food. My Dad and brother Jamie cooked up a storm on the BBQ and it was delicious. MMMM MEAT. Plus my mother had done loads of salad and pasta and vegetables etc. We had to take home a cake dog bag because I was so stuffed. The cake was especially delicious on Sunday night though.
On Sunday me and Soph and Hawk decided to go to Asda and buy some fruit and vegetables. This is because we do not trust Tesco to deliver us good ones since Lord knows they can't get the rest of the order right. We also were thinking to buy a microwave since ours is a health hazard and danger trap and we are sick of risking life and limb to use it. However. Instead of a microwave we somehow ended up buying Scrabble and Cluedo. Clyde enjoyed a game but he didn't win as he only knows how to spell a few words. Cat. Clyde and GIVE ME SOME FOOD BEFORE I RIP YOUR FACE OFF.
It was a very enjoyable weekend. I loved it.
Then came the task of weighing out our ingredients. We didn't realise we owned weighing scales until we had worked out how much sugar we needed through math (what is 175+175? 250?), marking out rough halves and quarters and badgers. Then we remember (I remembered) that we had been amazingly proficient in our first IKEA shop and had purchased some scales. I guess it was a sixth sense that knew, 5 months down the line, we would make a banana cake.
Nigella said, put your butter and sugar in a bowl and let the mixer machine do the rest. Well. We did not have a machine that worked without someone holding it and were using a large fruit bowl. This meant that butter and sugar were being flicked all over the shop. Including into Sophie's tea. Which she weren't too happy about. Sophie then tried melting the butter a bit by putting the bowl into hot water. Obviously doing this our way simply meant plunging the bowl into the frothy washing up water. It didn't really work.
Next came blending in the eggs. Something disgusting fell out one of the eggs and I had to interrupt the creaming and blending to dry heave into the sink.
Sophie: The recipe says mash the bananas *slices the bananas and thwacks with the back of the knife* MASHED
Then we had to decide which tin to cook our cake in. Banana cake is typically a loaf and we had bread tins but we didn't want to make him a banana loaf, we wanted to make him a cake. We also had a huge roasting tin. This was too big. So. We did what anyone normal would do and put the loaf tin at the end of the roasting tin and covered it all in grease proof paper. Sophie made me butter the grease proof paper. I was all, why are we buttering grease proof paper? And she said, THIS IS WHAT THE RECIPE SAYS. But when I read the recipe afterwards it said grease the tin and put the paper on top. This was one of many things that could have affected our cake which didn't. It really was a very forgiving recipe.
After we poured our batter in the makeshift cake tin and put it in the oven, Sophie left to go to the Opticians. This made me very nervous as I had to watch the cake. But. After 75 minutes, it was done. I made Matt check it was done as well. It was definitely done.
When Sophie came home, and the cake had cooled, we removed it from the tin. Because the loaf tin didn't entirely cover the end of the roasting tin, some of the cake mix had seeped down the sides. Sophie decided to square the cake up a bit. I don't know why we allowed this since she will freely admit she can't cut straight for shit. Luckily, whilst her cutting was slightly skew whiff, the cake looked fantastic. We all tried a piece of the bit she cut off to make sure. It is vital to do this. You should also lick the batter spoons etc along the way. Just to make sure you do not poison your brother with his own birthday cake.
Then we iced the cake. I used nearly a whole box of icing sugar.
Me: Sophie. Iced cakes are SO unhealthy!!! I've just tipped a whole box of pure sugar over our cake!
Sophie: Well, more like, cakes in general are unhealthy Ro.
We made sure all the cake, top and sides, were covered with icing. Icing covers every flaw and it pretty fantastic. Then Sophie wrote happy birthday on the top and drew a ninja banana. For some reason my brother thinks he is a ninja. It is best not to question these things.
In all, the cake was perfect and Jamie enjoyed it. As did everyone else. Although I have to say, next to my mothers cakes, ours looked unbelievably home made. Whatevs though. She is just a big show off.
The party was brilliant. Mum and Dad emptied out and cleaned the shed and put in a gas fire, a heater and loads of candles. My little sister printed out some posters and me and my dad nailed them on the walls. It had a table and chairs and cushions inside and looked better than some of the places me and So and Hawk looked at to rent.
There was also a massive fire pit on the patio, which noone fell in, so that was a bonus. And there was a TON of food. My Dad and brother Jamie cooked up a storm on the BBQ and it was delicious. MMMM MEAT. Plus my mother had done loads of salad and pasta and vegetables etc. We had to take home a cake dog bag because I was so stuffed. The cake was especially delicious on Sunday night though.
On Sunday me and Soph and Hawk decided to go to Asda and buy some fruit and vegetables. This is because we do not trust Tesco to deliver us good ones since Lord knows they can't get the rest of the order right. We also were thinking to buy a microwave since ours is a health hazard and danger trap and we are sick of risking life and limb to use it. However. Instead of a microwave we somehow ended up buying Scrabble and Cluedo. Clyde enjoyed a game but he didn't win as he only knows how to spell a few words. Cat. Clyde and GIVE ME SOME FOOD BEFORE I RIP YOUR FACE OFF.
It was a very enjoyable weekend. I loved it.
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
unbelievable homework
This is a sample from some homework that Lulu sent me and Sophie to edit:
"Firstly I made my box. At the time I didn’t like it as it was an ugly colour and was just bad. So I put it in the bin (it also got caught in the rain and was soggy) and started again."
"The vision I perceived for the next box I made was better than the reality version of it."
"It took me 3 attempts to get my T-shirt right. On my 1st,the ink bled all over the t-shirt leaving nasty marks. On the second T-Shirt I used sellotape. I was not aware it melted when it gets ironed."
"(Although it doesn’t look it, my necklace took me years)."
"When I look at what other students have made they look more professional. I should of asked for more help and gone to the workshop."
It was an evaluation that we had neither seen the brief for nor the finished results. After editing her work, I sent it back to her and asked for some actual photos to look at. She managed to make an album on Facebook. Me and Sophie had a look at the photos and made comments. Eg. You should add ... to your evaluation. To which she phoned Sophie and went MENTAL. About the fact we were asking HER to add things to HER OWN homework. Sophie passed the phone to me.
Me: But, all you have to do is cut and paste the comments we've written . . .
Lulu: I CAN'T DO THAT. FOR GOD'S SAAAAAAAAAAKE
And:
Lulu: FINE!!! FINE JUST FORGET IT!!!
And she HUNG UP.
It was UNBELIEVABLE. You wouldn't believe it because it was unbelievable.
That morning she had asked me whether I would look at some homework for her. She said she would email it to me and I was going to have a look at it during my lunch break. I don't know WHAT happened (but I imagine it involved a nap) but I did not receive her homework until about 8pm when all I wanted to do was find out who was being kicked off 'The Restaurant.' Anyway. Then we ask to see some photos. The photos of items the evaluation was actually about and would have been pretty useful at the start. When it got to 10pm and we still hadn't received them, Sophie called her. To find out she was WATCHING DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. It was Unbelievable. All I wanted to do was go to bed with my hot-water bottle and instead I was being shouted at by a raving loon.
AND!!! Even after the hanging up and shouting, she sent me more homework to do on the history of geometry!!! 10.30pm and I was writing about how the Ancient Greeks used geometry for astrology, surveying and map reading.
I tell you, at 23 it is not how you want to spend an evening. Although the retelling greatly amused my father.
"Firstly I made my box. At the time I didn’t like it as it was an ugly colour and was just bad. So I put it in the bin (it also got caught in the rain and was soggy) and started again."
"The vision I perceived for the next box I made was better than the reality version of it."
"It took me 3 attempts to get my T-shirt right. On my 1st,the ink bled all over the t-shirt leaving nasty marks. On the second T-Shirt I used sellotape. I was not aware it melted when it gets ironed."
"(Although it doesn’t look it, my necklace took me years)."
"When I look at what other students have made they look more professional. I should of asked for more help and gone to the workshop."
It was an evaluation that we had neither seen the brief for nor the finished results. After editing her work, I sent it back to her and asked for some actual photos to look at. She managed to make an album on Facebook. Me and Sophie had a look at the photos and made comments. Eg. You should add ... to your evaluation. To which she phoned Sophie and went MENTAL. About the fact we were asking HER to add things to HER OWN homework. Sophie passed the phone to me.
Me: But, all you have to do is cut and paste the comments we've written . . .
Lulu: I CAN'T DO THAT. FOR GOD'S SAAAAAAAAAAKE
And:
Lulu: FINE!!! FINE JUST FORGET IT!!!
And she HUNG UP.
It was UNBELIEVABLE. You wouldn't believe it because it was unbelievable.
That morning she had asked me whether I would look at some homework for her. She said she would email it to me and I was going to have a look at it during my lunch break. I don't know WHAT happened (but I imagine it involved a nap) but I did not receive her homework until about 8pm when all I wanted to do was find out who was being kicked off 'The Restaurant.' Anyway. Then we ask to see some photos. The photos of items the evaluation was actually about and would have been pretty useful at the start. When it got to 10pm and we still hadn't received them, Sophie called her. To find out she was WATCHING DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. It was Unbelievable. All I wanted to do was go to bed with my hot-water bottle and instead I was being shouted at by a raving loon.
AND!!! Even after the hanging up and shouting, she sent me more homework to do on the history of geometry!!! 10.30pm and I was writing about how the Ancient Greeks used geometry for astrology, surveying and map reading.
I tell you, at 23 it is not how you want to spend an evening. Although the retelling greatly amused my father.
Monday, 27 October 2008
and it's all, coming back, to me, nowwwwwwwwww
This weekend the clocks went back and we gained an hour. This morning, it does not feel like this is the case.
Friday night I was trudging home in the rain when my friend Ruth texted me. She said she would bring round dinner and wine. This perked me up considerably. Matt and Sophie had gone out and me and Ruth sat in the lounge eating pizza, garlic bread and Ben and Jerrys. We also drunk quite a bit of red wine and sung Celine Dion songs. Well, I sung a Celine song to her and she thought it was hilarious and keeps sending me text messages with random lines from the song on. Here it is. You can imagine how confusing it was to receive some of the lines (if I touch you like thatttttt) at 1 in the morning.
"It's All Coming Back To Me Now"
Celine Dion
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,
ANYWAY. So. I sang that to her and then we watched SuperBad. Ruth fell asleep on the sofa. I let her nap and she woke up at the end of the film feeling quite refreshed.
Then there was the usual palaver of ordering a cab and telling them where we lived. For some reason we are not on any maps and if you Google us our postcode just points you to a spot in the middle of a road.
On Saturday Ruth came over again to pick up her car. She normally spends the weekend with her boyfriend but they had had one of their numerous rows so me, her and Sophie went into Enfield instead. Ruth is no longer a student and in the money a bit now, just at the time when me and Sophie pay rent and bills and whatnot. Ruth was buying jumpers and boots and we were buying butter, milk and a giant bag of pasta.
On Saturday evening me, So and Matt went over to mum and dads. They had emptied out the shed and put chairs, heaters and candles in there so we could sit outside but in warmth and shelter whilst dad bbqed. He kept saying, I cannot believe we are sitting out here instead of in the million pound house. It was pretty funny, especially since there was a slight storm raging outside making all the candles flicker and dance. I have to say though, it was the warmest bbq we have ever had and I had to take a jumper off. A jumper. I was wearing leggings, jeans, boots, thermal socks, a vest, a t shirt, a jumper and a fleece. Lovely jubbly.
Loads of things made me laugh. Lulu said to dad: 'If you can put your whole hand over your face, it means you are more likely to get cancer.' Dad put his hand over his face. Lulu punched him on the nose. Dad: 'oh my God. What was that? You nearly broke my nose.' Apparently it is some school thing. It made dad mutter about his nose for ages.
On Sunday it rained and rained and rained. For about 10 minutes it stopped and me and Sophie legged it to Tesco for dinner ingredients. When we came back we needed a nap. Even though we'd only been awake about 2 hours. I woke up around 5pm. Unbelievable. Made myself get out of bed. Turned the heating up because it was freezing, closed all the blinds and turned all the lights and lamps on to make the lounge cosier. Sophie and Matt cooked dinner and we watched the X Factor and Strictly. Matt says me and Sophie are really harsh critics, worse than the judges. In the main because we generally like the hot swimmer as opposed to whoever dances/sings better.
Am now at work. And it is Monday. Enough said. Except that this is a bloody big mouse.
Friday night I was trudging home in the rain when my friend Ruth texted me. She said she would bring round dinner and wine. This perked me up considerably. Matt and Sophie had gone out and me and Ruth sat in the lounge eating pizza, garlic bread and Ben and Jerrys. We also drunk quite a bit of red wine and sung Celine Dion songs. Well, I sung a Celine song to her and she thought it was hilarious and keeps sending me text messages with random lines from the song on. Here it is. You can imagine how confusing it was to receive some of the lines (if I touch you like thatttttt) at 1 in the morning.
"It's All Coming Back To Me Now"
Celine Dion
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,
ANYWAY. So. I sang that to her and then we watched SuperBad. Ruth fell asleep on the sofa. I let her nap and she woke up at the end of the film feeling quite refreshed.
Then there was the usual palaver of ordering a cab and telling them where we lived. For some reason we are not on any maps and if you Google us our postcode just points you to a spot in the middle of a road.
On Saturday Ruth came over again to pick up her car. She normally spends the weekend with her boyfriend but they had had one of their numerous rows so me, her and Sophie went into Enfield instead. Ruth is no longer a student and in the money a bit now, just at the time when me and Sophie pay rent and bills and whatnot. Ruth was buying jumpers and boots and we were buying butter, milk and a giant bag of pasta.
On Saturday evening me, So and Matt went over to mum and dads. They had emptied out the shed and put chairs, heaters and candles in there so we could sit outside but in warmth and shelter whilst dad bbqed. He kept saying, I cannot believe we are sitting out here instead of in the million pound house. It was pretty funny, especially since there was a slight storm raging outside making all the candles flicker and dance. I have to say though, it was the warmest bbq we have ever had and I had to take a jumper off. A jumper. I was wearing leggings, jeans, boots, thermal socks, a vest, a t shirt, a jumper and a fleece. Lovely jubbly.
Loads of things made me laugh. Lulu said to dad: 'If you can put your whole hand over your face, it means you are more likely to get cancer.' Dad put his hand over his face. Lulu punched him on the nose. Dad: 'oh my God. What was that? You nearly broke my nose.' Apparently it is some school thing. It made dad mutter about his nose for ages.
On Sunday it rained and rained and rained. For about 10 minutes it stopped and me and Sophie legged it to Tesco for dinner ingredients. When we came back we needed a nap. Even though we'd only been awake about 2 hours. I woke up around 5pm. Unbelievable. Made myself get out of bed. Turned the heating up because it was freezing, closed all the blinds and turned all the lights and lamps on to make the lounge cosier. Sophie and Matt cooked dinner and we watched the X Factor and Strictly. Matt says me and Sophie are really harsh critics, worse than the judges. In the main because we generally like the hot swimmer as opposed to whoever dances/sings better.
Am now at work. And it is Monday. Enough said. Except that this is a bloody big mouse.
Friday, 17 October 2008
the whole wide world
Lulu stayed over last night. We ate a delicious rice and chicken curry and watched Stardust. Lulu came out with a few gems:
Lol: Ro, remember when you said you were sad because your friend moved to New Zealand?
Me: Ye . . .
Lol: Well. At the time I was wondering why you was sad because I was thinking you could go visit them
Me: Bit far Lol
Lol: YES!!! That is what I realised! I was looking at a map and I thought NZ was a train ride away but IT'S NOT!!!
Me: . . .
Lol: It's like, the OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD
Me: . . .
Sophie: She was totally thinking New Quay wasn't she
And -
Lol: *whatever hand flick* Eh. I don't really know the world
And:
Lol: AND! The UK is, like, REALLY TINY
Me: ...
Lol: Like, in comparison to Russia which is HUGE!!!!
Me: ...
And:
Lol: Does the Queen go on holiday?
Me: What? Er, yes.
Lol: And, like, what do people think of her though?
Me: What?
Lol: Well, I remember Jamie telling me she wasn't Queen of the whole world. Which I was a bit upset about.
Me: ....
Lol: So, like, what do people think of her?
Me: Well. Like a celebrity kinda. I mean, if they know who she is.
Lol: But could they, like, just kill her? Because she ain't their Queen?
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matt: Lol, just because she doesn't rule them, doesn't mean killing her isn't illegal. And. Like. MURDER
But she bought us a mixer and thus balancing out the crazytalk
Lol: Ro, remember when you said you were sad because your friend moved to New Zealand?
Me: Ye . . .
Lol: Well. At the time I was wondering why you was sad because I was thinking you could go visit them
Me: Bit far Lol
Lol: YES!!! That is what I realised! I was looking at a map and I thought NZ was a train ride away but IT'S NOT!!!
Me: . . .
Lol: It's like, the OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD
Me: . . .
Sophie: She was totally thinking New Quay wasn't she
And -
Lol: *whatever hand flick* Eh. I don't really know the world
And:
Lol: AND! The UK is, like, REALLY TINY
Me: ...
Lol: Like, in comparison to Russia which is HUGE!!!!
Me: ...
And:
Lol: Does the Queen go on holiday?
Me: What? Er, yes.
Lol: And, like, what do people think of her though?
Me: What?
Lol: Well, I remember Jamie telling me she wasn't Queen of the whole world. Which I was a bit upset about.
Me: ....
Lol: So, like, what do people think of her?
Me: Well. Like a celebrity kinda. I mean, if they know who she is.
Lol: But could they, like, just kill her? Because she ain't their Queen?
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matt: Lol, just because she doesn't rule them, doesn't mean killing her isn't illegal. And. Like. MURDER
But she bought us a mixer and thus balancing out the crazytalk
Friday, 10 October 2008
to me, to you
Mum and Dad and Lulu came over for dinner last night. Sophie cooked Nigella's ham in coke recipe and it was delicious. As Lulu said: "This fake meat is my favourite kind." And then, as we all said, what?
There was also a delicious salad. Again, Lulu had something to say: "Don't waste your calories on salad."
She also told me that my fringe was stupid and made me look like a member of Westlife. This is because I am constantly running my fingers through my hair and eventually my fringe separates into the vair vair attractive boyband curtain style. Actually, thinking about it. I don't know why we allow her over. All she does is insult us and steal our jewellery.
After everyone forgot Lulu had said that, Sophie said: "OMG RONANNNN IS THAT YOUUUUUUU???????" It took me a while to realise what she was talking about. Me: "He was in Boyzone you idiot."
Matt lit all the candles in the lounge. It looked lovely. Except he had not put water and oil in the oil burner so I picked up the little detachable terracotta burner part and I swear to God it was hotter than the sun. AND the only reason I thought it would be ok to pick it up was because I had seen Sophie doing THE EXACT SAME THING. I picked it up between thumb and forefinger. Dropped it onto my wrist. Tried to hold it there but FLESH! BURNING! Somehow managed to drop it onto chest. Gave up. Dropped it onto the floor. Managed not to smash it. Have blister on wrist and thumb that I hold Sophie accountable for.
Today Matt is painting Sophie's bedroom. I told him not to paint over the door frame and not be able to get out. Although I think that only happens when you are wallpapering. And are a Chuckle Brother.
He said he wouldn't although you can not count out things like that happening to Matt. Evidenced by the £60 BT call plan somehow we have, even though we do not make any calls.
On Tuesday night I went bowling with M and a girl called Hollie I used to work with. It was good clean fun. Well, until Hollie said M looked very professional handling the bowling balls.
Me: M has very good ball skills
I played absolutely terribly. As I said, it is because my bowling arm is still very very stiff and bruised from falling over a bench.
Me and M shared just ONE bottle of wine. Was at Holborn station by 10pm. Piccadilly line suspended between Kings Cross and Cockfosters. Me - :(
On the platform there is a packed-out tube. Me to the platform man - Hi, could you tell me what is going on please? Him - THERE IS A BODY UNDER THE TRAIN AT WOOD GREEN. DEAD. HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY IT. STOP SHOUTING AT ME.
Me - What? Shouting? I wasn't. I just asked what was happening.
Him - THEY ARE DEAD.
Me - Right. Well. That is very tragic but please could you tell me how to get home?
Him - Oh. OK. Go outside the station and get the 91 bus to Kings Cross then the train to bla and then the bus to blah.
Me - Thank you. That is very helpful.
Him - Thats fine. I'm sorry I shouted at you. It's just I have told the people waiting on this tube for half an hour that it isn't going to move for at least an hour and they keep asking me when it is going to move. .
Me - Oh dear.
Him - I KEEP telling them to just get off the Piccaddilly Line and they aren't listening! I mean, look at them. RAMMED ON.
Anyway. Was not so so terrible journey home. I mean, 2 hours instead of 40 minutes but whatever. The tube, then bus, then train, then bus obviously had some effect though because I totally missed my stop this morning. Was just staring out the window reading the stops and whatnot when noticed as the doors closed we were pulling away from mine. All I could muster was a lame: "Oh darn."
R: Who is the lady at reception? Has A left?
Me: No, he is just on holiday for a couple of days. She is his replacement. He told me her name was Zak. I was like, Zak? He said: "Well some kind of Indian name."
R: Heh God. She bellowed: "Good morning" to me very determinedly at me as I came in.
Me: Probably wondering who this suspicious looking character is entering the building
R: Thanks.
Ah, nice:
To: Erik
From: Rosie
Incase you were struggling with content:
Following the problems in the financial sector in the US , uncertainty has now hit Japan . In the last 7 days the Origami Bank has folded, the Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today’s shares in the Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cuts, the Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but hey remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at the Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Hope all 'good' there and you boys are behaving,
Rosie
From: Erik
I never struggle with content - writing bullshit comes naturally to me...
Hope you're well and enjoying working outside of the monkey group of companies!!! Miss your smile around here...
Erik
From: Rosie
Laughed at "writing bullshit." Funny. Bullshit is a major skill at Monkey Ltd!!!
Hope all is good with you. Hope your children are ok.
I am very well thanks. Moved out of my parents and so now going from one end of the tube line to the other in the morning for work. Sometimes I have a nap and come into work with creases on my face. Bringing the glamour!!!
Love my job. No one has made me go into the mens toilets to get a member of staff to the phone, I am not haggling the price of 99p binbags, searching for Brum dvd's and then getting screamed at for not having time for CR work. It is all pretty weird!
I do miss you all though. People outside of ML are not the same. They're ... normal. You were all such a funny bunch, loved kitchen chats with you.
I still see M. She works near me and meeting for lunch in the pub with her is very dangerous . . .
R
To: Rosie
Glad to hear you're keeping well and enjoying work. You must be so pleased to have ML as a distint memeory (maybe part nightmare?), but life throws all sorts of shit in our path to deal with.
I'm very well, kids driving me insane but that's nothing new. I'm stoical at work, Planet Monkey needs desperate people like me to function, so I have no illusions of what is expected, so in a way I'm happy. One has to question my sanity on that point, though...
Loved the vision of you asleep on the tube (creases ... know the feeling!)
Take care and keep in touch.
Erik
To: Erik
Trying to forget about ML but sometimes the training slips into my everyday life. Like, instead of buying paper towels for the kitchen I just went to the cleaners cupboard and stole a box of them. Also, I was very shocked to learn that petty cash here is just spent on doughnuts. Jam AND custard.
Erik, it is better to think of yourself as the backbone there. And glad to hear your children are ok. They are totally meant to drive you insane.
Ha. I think your vision of me sleeping is possibly a lot nicer than reality. Open mouth, drool etc.
Will definitely stay in touch, you guys are pretty awesome. And one day, I might reconsider and come back. HAHA.
Rosie
To: Rosie
You can check out of Hotel Monkey but you can neverrrrrr leeeeeeave... Think about that when you joke above coming back. Scary thought!!!
Erik
There was also a delicious salad. Again, Lulu had something to say: "Don't waste your calories on salad."
She also told me that my fringe was stupid and made me look like a member of Westlife. This is because I am constantly running my fingers through my hair and eventually my fringe separates into the vair vair attractive boyband curtain style. Actually, thinking about it. I don't know why we allow her over. All she does is insult us and steal our jewellery.
After everyone forgot Lulu had said that, Sophie said: "OMG RONANNNN IS THAT YOUUUUUUU???????" It took me a while to realise what she was talking about. Me: "He was in Boyzone you idiot."
Matt lit all the candles in the lounge. It looked lovely. Except he had not put water and oil in the oil burner so I picked up the little detachable terracotta burner part and I swear to God it was hotter than the sun. AND the only reason I thought it would be ok to pick it up was because I had seen Sophie doing THE EXACT SAME THING. I picked it up between thumb and forefinger. Dropped it onto my wrist. Tried to hold it there but FLESH! BURNING! Somehow managed to drop it onto chest. Gave up. Dropped it onto the floor. Managed not to smash it. Have blister on wrist and thumb that I hold Sophie accountable for.
Today Matt is painting Sophie's bedroom. I told him not to paint over the door frame and not be able to get out. Although I think that only happens when you are wallpapering. And are a Chuckle Brother.
He said he wouldn't although you can not count out things like that happening to Matt. Evidenced by the £60 BT call plan somehow we have, even though we do not make any calls. On Tuesday night I went bowling with M and a girl called Hollie I used to work with. It was good clean fun. Well, until Hollie said M looked very professional handling the bowling balls.
Me: M has very good ball skills
I played absolutely terribly. As I said, it is because my bowling arm is still very very stiff and bruised from falling over a bench.
Me and M shared just ONE bottle of wine. Was at Holborn station by 10pm. Piccadilly line suspended between Kings Cross and Cockfosters. Me - :(
On the platform there is a packed-out tube. Me to the platform man - Hi, could you tell me what is going on please? Him - THERE IS A BODY UNDER THE TRAIN AT WOOD GREEN. DEAD. HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY IT. STOP SHOUTING AT ME.
Me - What? Shouting? I wasn't. I just asked what was happening.
Him - THEY ARE DEAD.
Me - Right. Well. That is very tragic but please could you tell me how to get home?
Him - Oh. OK. Go outside the station and get the 91 bus to Kings Cross then the train to bla and then the bus to blah.
Me - Thank you. That is very helpful.
Him - Thats fine. I'm sorry I shouted at you. It's just I have told the people waiting on this tube for half an hour that it isn't going to move for at least an hour and they keep asking me when it is going to move. .
Me - Oh dear.
Him - I KEEP telling them to just get off the Piccaddilly Line and they aren't listening! I mean, look at them. RAMMED ON.
Anyway. Was not so so terrible journey home. I mean, 2 hours instead of 40 minutes but whatever. The tube, then bus, then train, then bus obviously had some effect though because I totally missed my stop this morning. Was just staring out the window reading the stops and whatnot when noticed as the doors closed we were pulling away from mine. All I could muster was a lame: "Oh darn."
R: Who is the lady at reception? Has A left?
Me: No, he is just on holiday for a couple of days. She is his replacement. He told me her name was Zak. I was like, Zak? He said: "Well some kind of Indian name."
R: Heh God. She bellowed: "Good morning" to me very determinedly at me as I came in.
Me: Probably wondering who this suspicious looking character is entering the building
R: Thanks.
Ah, nice:
To: Erik
From: Rosie
Incase you were struggling with content:
Following the problems in the financial sector in the US , uncertainty has now hit Japan . In the last 7 days the Origami Bank has folded, the Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today’s shares in the Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cuts, the Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but hey remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at the Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Hope all 'good' there and you boys are behaving,
Rosie
From: Erik
I never struggle with content - writing bullshit comes naturally to me...
Hope you're well and enjoying working outside of the monkey group of companies!!! Miss your smile around here...
Erik
From: Rosie
Laughed at "writing bullshit." Funny. Bullshit is a major skill at Monkey Ltd!!!
Hope all is good with you. Hope your children are ok.
I am very well thanks. Moved out of my parents and so now going from one end of the tube line to the other in the morning for work. Sometimes I have a nap and come into work with creases on my face. Bringing the glamour!!!
Love my job. No one has made me go into the mens toilets to get a member of staff to the phone, I am not haggling the price of 99p binbags, searching for Brum dvd's and then getting screamed at for not having time for CR work. It is all pretty weird!
I do miss you all though. People outside of ML are not the same. They're ... normal. You were all such a funny bunch, loved kitchen chats with you.
I still see M. She works near me and meeting for lunch in the pub with her is very dangerous . . .
R
To: Rosie
Glad to hear you're keeping well and enjoying work. You must be so pleased to have ML as a distint memeory (maybe part nightmare?), but life throws all sorts of shit in our path to deal with.
I'm very well, kids driving me insane but that's nothing new. I'm stoical at work, Planet Monkey needs desperate people like me to function, so I have no illusions of what is expected, so in a way I'm happy. One has to question my sanity on that point, though...
Loved the vision of you asleep on the tube (creases ... know the feeling!)
Take care and keep in touch.
Erik
To: Erik
Trying to forget about ML but sometimes the training slips into my everyday life. Like, instead of buying paper towels for the kitchen I just went to the cleaners cupboard and stole a box of them. Also, I was very shocked to learn that petty cash here is just spent on doughnuts. Jam AND custard.
Erik, it is better to think of yourself as the backbone there. And glad to hear your children are ok. They are totally meant to drive you insane.
Ha. I think your vision of me sleeping is possibly a lot nicer than reality. Open mouth, drool etc.
Will definitely stay in touch, you guys are pretty awesome. And one day, I might reconsider and come back. HAHA.
Rosie
To: Rosie
You can check out of Hotel Monkey but you can neverrrrrr leeeeeeave... Think about that when you joke above coming back. Scary thought!!!
Erik
Thursday, 9 October 2008
70's hostess
Me: Alriiiiight?! At work today after a lover-leeee long weekend. Have obviously come in and simply DIVED into the work and. . . eh. I have spent the morning reading your emails. 48! Nice one kids! I would like to comment on a couple of points.
1 - Sadie. I do not know what you are talking about when you say I have had my fair share of embarrassments already. I do not own a Dennis Waterman album.
2 - Sophie. The nursery all have to wear yellow shirts???? HAHA. Laughing at "one size fits all". Idiots.
3 - Jess. Laughing at Izzy keeping you awake. That is why cats are so cute. Because otherwise you would not allow it. Clyde was bugging me this morning. And it is really disquieting that he purrs whilst attacking. I also do not like that when I put my extremities under the cover he still roots around with his little paw. What is he? Some kind of genius cat? (HA, NO). I spent yesterday afternoon at home. I was like, cool. Can see what he gets up to. In the main, sleeping. Sleeping and then manic running down the hall and through the cat flap. And vice versa. Continually. Whilst one is trying to nap.
In other news. The weekend was awesome and the weather was amazing! Went to the Tate on Friday with Lulu and then the Thames Festival on Saturday with Sophie and Matt and M. And Sunday was Enfield and then me and Lol saw Mama Mia at the cinema and it was hilarious. Mainly because me and Lulu are easily amused.
Sophie: Clyde was so relentlessly annoying this morning. I shut him out and woke up to find him frolicking with my bra. He must have pushed the door open. I took that off him, listened to him crashing about for ages, took my earphones out of his mouth, listened to him crashing about some more and then my alarm went off. Then I underdressed and went out in the cold. Waited for a bus for 25 mins and the next one for 20.It's ok now because I have had tea and Readybrek and feeling a bit warmer. Not warmer to mankind. Just warmer internally.
Me: I'd love some Readybrek man. Clyde licked my face this morning. It was more gross than cute. Also, why are his paws ALWAYS wet? Actually, don't answer that. Yesterday whilst I was napping he was batting something across the floor. I woke up and was like, what the heck is that? Oh. Glass. OF COURSE IT IS. And it wasn't even glass from our house. He bought it in from outside. Glass. Glass in his mouth. Glass as cat toy. OH HAI MORE VET BILLS! HOW ARE YOU?
Sadie: OOOPS to glass. He obviously likes the shiny sparklies. Hmmm, playing with glass earrings and bras, I think I see a
pattern. You have a transvestite cat.
Me: HA. He is half cat, half magpie, wholly insane.
Sophie: He ate cocktail sticks and pineapple last night
Sadie: So, half cat, half magpie, half 70's hostess.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAH. Though I won't be laughing soon. I have a tenants meeting at 11. NL just sent out an email saying she cannot attend. What a cow. She said she was too scared to sit near me incase she caught my eye and started laughing.
Me: R, there is a tenants meeting this morning. Do you have any issues you would like me to bring up?
R: The colour of that bloody carpet. I mean, what the heck?
M: N is WELL mad about that carpet. She says that the only reason they chose this building for their office was because of the previous blue carpet.
R: Just for the carpet? There must have been another reason...
M: Nope. This is how seriously the tenants take the carpet.
Sadie: In our building - newly built for us - they chose beautiful grey stone for the main walkways, reception etc. What
they didn't appreciate is that the stone is porous and absorbs everything thrown on it - coffee, tea, milk, vomit, ink, pitch tar etc. Many hours of research into cleaning fluids and they still haven't found anything that properly cleans it. I did laugh.
Had goats milk mixed with a little coconut milk for my breakfast. Now THAT'S delicious.
My new TV came yesterday. It spent 9 hours glaring malevolently at me from inside its cardboard box before I gave up and installed it. It is not as easy as you think removing on your own a 5 stone TV off the table, attaching the stand to the new 3 foot wide TV and setting it up. The instructions says it requires 2 people. Pah to that. All done now and it's properly connected to the cable box and the DVD recorder, which I thought would be a nightmare.
Sophie: Very impressive! Don't think I could face goat and coconut milk for brekkie.
*Later*
Me: The tenants meeting was crazy awesome! Ha! I'm lying. The high points was the scuffed walls, the ugly carpet, the damaged chair and the dirty outside steps. OH!! I am so lying! The high point was M saying that there was no ventilation in the upstairs toilets and smell was an issue!!! I will admit it. I snorted.
Sadie: Smelly toilets are no laughing matter. Not when you have to spend 20 minutes in there putting your make up on, it's a disgrace I say.
Me: Laughing! I put my makeup on at my desk. Our toilets have no windows either but they never smell. "We don't even have AN AIRRRRR FRESHENER!!!"
Sophie: Drowning out work with some very loud Foo Fighters in my ears. Having to use Ro's earphones that she gave to Hawk because Clyde ate my (expensive Sony ones) this morning.
Jess: Dude
Also,
Living with my sister and her boyfriend could have gone hideously wrong and yet, it doesn't seem to have. I can't remember any arguments, or at least none that have been serious and not totally forgotten by cooking dinner or making cups of tea. In fact, we all seem to get on pretty well. Matt scrubs mould off of the bathroom ceiling, Sophie cooks dinner:
Sophie: What are you cooking me for dinner tonight?
Me: Well, the meatballs are defrosted and in the fridge . . .
Sophie: Ok, shall I cook those then?
Me: HAHA. Yes.
Sophie: Wait. What just happened? Am I cooking? Did I just volunteer?
And I . . . holy crap. I can't think. Buy hot water bottles?
The only example of an argument I can think of is:
Sophie: *In the bathroom, showering*
Clyde: *Runs in through the cat flap and to his dinner bowl*
Matt: HEY CLYDE!!! YOU'RE IN!! HI!!
Sophie: What?
Matt: Was just saying Clyde is in
Sophie: What?????? I can't hearrrrr you
Matt: CLYYYYDES INNNNNNN
Sophie: WHAT??? I can't HEARRRR you because I'm in the BATHROOOOOOOOOOOM
Me: JESUS CHRIST SHUT UPPPPPPP
Sophie: WHAT? *Comes out the bathroom*
Me: Blood-eeeeeee Hell. He wasn't even speaking to you, he was speaking to the cat.
Sophie: Oh.
Matt: I can't hearrrrrrr you
Me: I'm in the bathroooooooooooooooom
Sophie: Shut up! You two are MEAN.
1 - Sadie. I do not know what you are talking about when you say I have had my fair share of embarrassments already. I do not own a Dennis Waterman album.
2 - Sophie. The nursery all have to wear yellow shirts???? HAHA. Laughing at "one size fits all". Idiots.
3 - Jess. Laughing at Izzy keeping you awake. That is why cats are so cute. Because otherwise you would not allow it. Clyde was bugging me this morning. And it is really disquieting that he purrs whilst attacking. I also do not like that when I put my extremities under the cover he still roots around with his little paw. What is he? Some kind of genius cat? (HA, NO). I spent yesterday afternoon at home. I was like, cool. Can see what he gets up to. In the main, sleeping. Sleeping and then manic running down the hall and through the cat flap. And vice versa. Continually. Whilst one is trying to nap.
In other news. The weekend was awesome and the weather was amazing! Went to the Tate on Friday with Lulu and then the Thames Festival on Saturday with Sophie and Matt and M. And Sunday was Enfield and then me and Lol saw Mama Mia at the cinema and it was hilarious. Mainly because me and Lulu are easily amused.
Sophie: Clyde was so relentlessly annoying this morning. I shut him out and woke up to find him frolicking with my bra. He must have pushed the door open. I took that off him, listened to him crashing about for ages, took my earphones out of his mouth, listened to him crashing about some more and then my alarm went off. Then I underdressed and went out in the cold. Waited for a bus for 25 mins and the next one for 20.It's ok now because I have had tea and Readybrek and feeling a bit warmer. Not warmer to mankind. Just warmer internally.
Me: I'd love some Readybrek man. Clyde licked my face this morning. It was more gross than cute. Also, why are his paws ALWAYS wet? Actually, don't answer that. Yesterday whilst I was napping he was batting something across the floor. I woke up and was like, what the heck is that? Oh. Glass. OF COURSE IT IS. And it wasn't even glass from our house. He bought it in from outside. Glass. Glass in his mouth. Glass as cat toy. OH HAI MORE VET BILLS! HOW ARE YOU?
Sadie: OOOPS to glass. He obviously likes the shiny sparklies. Hmmm, playing with glass earrings and bras, I think I see a
pattern. You have a transvestite cat.
Me: HA. He is half cat, half magpie, wholly insane.
Sophie: He ate cocktail sticks and pineapple last night
Sadie: So, half cat, half magpie, half 70's hostess.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAH. Though I won't be laughing soon. I have a tenants meeting at 11. NL just sent out an email saying she cannot attend. What a cow. She said she was too scared to sit near me incase she caught my eye and started laughing.
Me: R, there is a tenants meeting this morning. Do you have any issues you would like me to bring up?
R: The colour of that bloody carpet. I mean, what the heck?
M: N is WELL mad about that carpet. She says that the only reason they chose this building for their office was because of the previous blue carpet.
R: Just for the carpet? There must have been another reason...
M: Nope. This is how seriously the tenants take the carpet.
Sadie: In our building - newly built for us - they chose beautiful grey stone for the main walkways, reception etc. What
they didn't appreciate is that the stone is porous and absorbs everything thrown on it - coffee, tea, milk, vomit, ink, pitch tar etc. Many hours of research into cleaning fluids and they still haven't found anything that properly cleans it. I did laugh.
Had goats milk mixed with a little coconut milk for my breakfast. Now THAT'S delicious.
My new TV came yesterday. It spent 9 hours glaring malevolently at me from inside its cardboard box before I gave up and installed it. It is not as easy as you think removing on your own a 5 stone TV off the table, attaching the stand to the new 3 foot wide TV and setting it up. The instructions says it requires 2 people. Pah to that. All done now and it's properly connected to the cable box and the DVD recorder, which I thought would be a nightmare.
Sophie: Very impressive! Don't think I could face goat and coconut milk for brekkie.
*Later*
Me: The tenants meeting was crazy awesome! Ha! I'm lying. The high points was the scuffed walls, the ugly carpet, the damaged chair and the dirty outside steps. OH!! I am so lying! The high point was M saying that there was no ventilation in the upstairs toilets and smell was an issue!!! I will admit it. I snorted.
Sadie: Smelly toilets are no laughing matter. Not when you have to spend 20 minutes in there putting your make up on, it's a disgrace I say.
Me: Laughing! I put my makeup on at my desk. Our toilets have no windows either but they never smell. "We don't even have AN AIRRRRR FRESHENER!!!"
Sophie: Drowning out work with some very loud Foo Fighters in my ears. Having to use Ro's earphones that she gave to Hawk because Clyde ate my (expensive Sony ones) this morning.
Jess: Dude
Also,
Living with my sister and her boyfriend could have gone hideously wrong and yet, it doesn't seem to have. I can't remember any arguments, or at least none that have been serious and not totally forgotten by cooking dinner or making cups of tea. In fact, we all seem to get on pretty well. Matt scrubs mould off of the bathroom ceiling, Sophie cooks dinner:
Sophie: What are you cooking me for dinner tonight?
Me: Well, the meatballs are defrosted and in the fridge . . .
Sophie: Ok, shall I cook those then?
Me: HAHA. Yes.
Sophie: Wait. What just happened? Am I cooking? Did I just volunteer?
And I . . . holy crap. I can't think. Buy hot water bottles?
The only example of an argument I can think of is:
Sophie: *In the bathroom, showering*
Clyde: *Runs in through the cat flap and to his dinner bowl*
Matt: HEY CLYDE!!! YOU'RE IN!! HI!!
Sophie: What?
Matt: Was just saying Clyde is in
Sophie: What?????? I can't hearrrrr you
Matt: CLYYYYDES INNNNNNN
Sophie: WHAT??? I can't HEARRRR you because I'm in the BATHROOOOOOOOOOOM
Me: JESUS CHRIST SHUT UPPPPPPP
Sophie: WHAT? *Comes out the bathroom*
Me: Blood-eeeeeee Hell. He wasn't even speaking to you, he was speaking to the cat.
Sophie: Oh.
Matt: I can't hearrrrrrr you
Me: I'm in the bathroooooooooooooooom
Sophie: Shut up! You two are MEAN.
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
it was really really nice
I had a really lovely weekend. On Thursday night, Sophie and Matt went babysitting so I decided to clean the house. This meant that on Friday night when I got in from work, the place was looking lovely and clean. I bought a big bunch of flowers from the market man and lit all the candles in the lounge. 
I love when it gets dark enough outside that your room looks all cosy.
Sophie and Matt were in their bedroom. We were all waiting for our Tesco delivery and from their room I heard:
Sophie: I'm hungryyyy
Matt: Let's wait until the Tesco man has been
5 minutes later
Sophie: But I'm hungryyyyyyyyyyy
I waited in the lounge watching Eastenders with some wine. Eventually Sophie decided she was too hungry to wait and ordered us all some Chinese takeaway. This turned out to be a very good plan as our Tesco order did not arrive until 9.30. The Ponders End Tesco seem pretty useless. This is also evident in their 'substitution' options. We order shampoo, we get handwash. Anyway, the Chinese arrived just as we had finished unloading our order and it was pretty delicious. Me and Clyde managed to stay up and watch Jonathan Ross but it was tough going after such a riotous evening.
Clyde came and snuggled up with me on the couch and let me stroke him for more than 2 minutes. Matt says that Clyde is the least affectionate cat he has ever had, and some of the cats he has owned have been feral. At one point he was laying on the floor near us, but not near enough so we could touch him. I leant over to stoke his paw and he whipped it away and moved further back. Sophie found this very amusing.
Saturday was also really nice. Chilled in the lounge with Sophie and Matt. Decided to invite Lulu round because we hadn't seen her for a while and she is pretty funny. Called her at 10. No answer. Called her at 12. No answer. She managed to wake up around 1 and drag her arse over. She said it looked very 'weathery' outside. This made me laugh. Is it weathery? Yes! Wrap up warm! Weather is a total hinderance to people like Sophie and Lulu as they wear glasses and weather tends to fog them up and make visibility poor. Unloading the dishwasher is also a hazard for them but very funny to me. By the time she arrived, it was about 4pm and we had eaten tuna pasta (me and Sophie) and 2 muffins (Matt) and watched quite a few episodes of 'Flight of the Conchords' which is excellent and very funny. Lulu hadn't eaten so I put leftover Chinese noodles in a bowl for her.
Lulu: I can't eat that much
Me: Well, no one else is going to eat this so just eat what you want
Lulu: Ok. Put the rest of the rice on top whilst your at it.
Me: . . . . .
5 minutes later
Lulu. *licking bowl clean*
Me: Right. Couldn't manage it all then
Lulu: I am doing it for the anorexics
She then told us all about the diet she is on. Basically, you eat a packet of Rolos for lunch and have mango for dinner. Or, a burger for lunch, mango for dinner. This is perhaps why she ate us out of house and home. Chips and sausages for dinner, an ice cream for pudding, a bowl of bombay mix whilst watching the X factor and a bar of chocolate. And I tell you something, it might have been Clyde once, but the other 13 times it wasn't.
Also, the ice cream was very odd. It was a Crunchy one and when I bit into it, my ears started popping. I could not work out where the popping crackling noise was coming from so I kept very quiet for a few moments. Then I thought maybe it could be coming from the ice cream so I held it up to my ear and listened to that. Then I heard Sophie giggling. I asked Matt what she was laughing at. He said I was not meant to eat my ice cream so quickly and that I was supposed to appreciate the crackling. Sophie said it was very funny watching me listen to my ice cream and not be able to work out what the noise was. I am not sure why Crunchy made their ice creams to crackle but they did. It makes for a very disconcerting experience.
We played Monopoly whilst dinner was cooking.
It was very interesting to see the different ways families play this game. Matt's rules seemed pretty forgiving, whereas me, Lol and Sophie's version seemed to be charge money whenever and cheat. It took Sophie approximately a million years to get round the board once. 
Clyde slept through most of the action as he likes to be up with the larks in the morning.
This was the first weekend that we have needed the heating on. We sat on the floor to play Monopoly and Sophie leaned against the radiator. At one point she said she felt like she was turning into Dad because she felt very very hot. Apparently, you do not need to be wearing 5 layers if you are also going to lean against a radiator and drink red wine.
In bed, I taught Lolly a very funny game you can play with Clyde. By funny I mean, THE SCARIEST GAME IN THE WHOLE WORLD. When he is under the bed, you tap your fingers on the headboard. It is a test of nerves because Clydes role in this game is to leap up the side of the bed like Jaws. Lulu did not believe me when I said this was a scary game. I think she does now.
It is lucky he is cute because she went home with loads of scratches over her hands (check out her purple nailvarnish. Only took her about 17 hours to do).
On Sunday Matt wasn't feeling very well so he went home to his mother for some chicken soup and love. He doesn't really get that with me and Sophie. We come from a family where nothing can't be fixed with panadol, whisky or a plaster. He headed off into the weather (pouring rain) and me, So and Lol went to Brent Cross with our pal Ruth. I managed to buy a new black top. It just isn't a shopping trip unless you buy either a black top or a new black eyeliner. Sophie also managed to buy a top and was wearing it this morning. It looked very nice. Lulu bought some jeans. They were quite tight and she had problems bending down in them. She'll have to go back on the mango for dinner (trademark) diet this week or do some lunges to loosen them up.
On Sunday night we all went to mum and dads for dinner. It was delicious. So was the cheesecake for pudding. Sophie always makes herself eat the pudding because once she didn't and all week she was very upset about that. It is probably her only regret in life. Highlights of Sunday evening were Dad and Jamie telling us how they were bringing in the inside plants from the garden. Mum puts them out there in the summer. It is very funny listening to them tell us how they managed to get 'a tree' upstairs.
Dad, doing an impression of mum: Ooooh whats this bit of furniture here? We don't need that. Put a plant there instead. Ooooh what is that chair doing there? Bin it and put a plant there instead.
Toby gave them a laugh whilst they were wedged up the staircase though. He had made himself some toast and was taking it to his room to enjoy. Unfortunately on the way out the kitchen he dropped a slice on the floor and before you could say NO! BAD PUPPY! Boris had snarfed it down. Our dogs are the biggest thieves ever. Jamie made some mashed potato for them all. It took him two hours and was seasoned and smoothed and mashed to perfection. Then he left it on the side, picked up his guitar and wandered into the lounge to see mum and dad. Mum says there was a moment where he entered the lounge, strummed his guitar, looked at them and RAN back to the kitchen. To find Boris with his whole head in his carefully made mash. Boris got the guitar strummed over his head.
I think he thinks it was worth it though
Also, apparently Monty is depressed and has been for 2 weeks. He lay on the floor the whole time we were there and sighed. Poor Monty. Life is so hard being an overloved retriever.
Matt told mum he wasn't feeling well. She gave him a whisky.
It was a very good evening and not only because of the cheesecake. Grandma used to be a size 18 and bought a load of jackets from M&S. They are not jackets I would have bought myself but are surprisingly funky. She even sewed new buttons on them as she didn't like the originals. So now I have 5 new jackets with mother of pearl buttons. It says a lot about my grandma that the replaced buttons ended up costing more than the coat did. Her losing weight and giving me these jackets is the only silver lining to her getting cancer because otherwise it has been a total pain in the arse. My poor grandma. Hopefully she is back to her kickass self soon and is round here drinking and calling me a farm girl. I love my grandparents a lot.
We got a cab back to ours as it was still pretty weathery outside and I had a ton of coats to carry. It would have possibly been the only time in my life I would not have frozen to death waiting at the bus stop for a 121. I used to have to wait for that bus way back in Enfield Lock after uni. I would have already had at least an hours journey, 2 train rides and another bus by then. This would be the last leg of the trip home. I waited there once, in the winter. It was really dark and cold. I cried on the bus. Some guy asked if I was ok. I said: "I'm just soooo co-olddddd *sob*. And that is saying something because the women in my family do NOT like to be cold and will generally be wearing 4 layers of clothing. The last time I cried over something so stupid was during some serious PMT and I wanted some Philadelphia and lemon curd on French bread and mum forgot to buy the lemon curd. Man was I upset. This was after I had walked out of school, cried on the bus home and lay on the door mat because I had forgotten my key and standing and calling anyone was TOO MUCH.
Anywayyy. The cab driver was pretty rubbish. It is a simple route from my parents house to ours. Our house is quite tucked away but I was happy to direct the driver. This driver told me he knew where it was and was fine. He pulled away from my parents and drove the long way round the park. Then he decided to go down some twisty roads instead of 1 minute along the main. It seems odd that if you don't know where you are going, you go down the complicated streets. I directed him back to the main road. I said 'left right at the end of this road.' He misunderstood and started to turn right. I said no, left at the end. He said, BUT YOU SAID RIGHT. Hm. I did but you misunderstood. He irritated me quite a bit because I didn't care if he didn't know the exact route to our place but he never accepted help from me, tried to blame me for him going wrong and then at the end he decided to overcharge us by £2. This isn't much but we regularly get a cab for this journey and it is normally £7. We normally pay £10 and let them keep the change. This time he charged £9 and it was not the smoothest of rides. I did not give him a tip. We got out the car. Sophie said: "I hope you did not give him a tip."
We then had a nice cup of tea and watched the X Factor judges final-3 results. I don't know what was wrong with all the boys but they were SOBBING. Seriously, dudes, pull it together. Then we went to bed.
I am now at work wearing my new black top. It looks really nice with the bargainous £7 (PLUS postage and packaging) black leather boots I bought off eBay. In a minute I am going to go buy some salad for dinner to go with the ham we have been meaning to cook for about a month.
I love when it gets dark enough outside that your room looks all cosy. Sophie and Matt were in their bedroom. We were all waiting for our Tesco delivery and from their room I heard:
Sophie: I'm hungryyyy
Matt: Let's wait until the Tesco man has been
5 minutes later
Sophie: But I'm hungryyyyyyyyyyy
I waited in the lounge watching Eastenders with some wine. Eventually Sophie decided she was too hungry to wait and ordered us all some Chinese takeaway. This turned out to be a very good plan as our Tesco order did not arrive until 9.30. The Ponders End Tesco seem pretty useless. This is also evident in their 'substitution' options. We order shampoo, we get handwash. Anyway, the Chinese arrived just as we had finished unloading our order and it was pretty delicious. Me and Clyde managed to stay up and watch Jonathan Ross but it was tough going after such a riotous evening.
Clyde came and snuggled up with me on the couch and let me stroke him for more than 2 minutes. Matt says that Clyde is the least affectionate cat he has ever had, and some of the cats he has owned have been feral. At one point he was laying on the floor near us, but not near enough so we could touch him. I leant over to stoke his paw and he whipped it away and moved further back. Sophie found this very amusing. Saturday was also really nice. Chilled in the lounge with Sophie and Matt. Decided to invite Lulu round because we hadn't seen her for a while and she is pretty funny. Called her at 10. No answer. Called her at 12. No answer. She managed to wake up around 1 and drag her arse over. She said it looked very 'weathery' outside. This made me laugh. Is it weathery? Yes! Wrap up warm! Weather is a total hinderance to people like Sophie and Lulu as they wear glasses and weather tends to fog them up and make visibility poor. Unloading the dishwasher is also a hazard for them but very funny to me. By the time she arrived, it was about 4pm and we had eaten tuna pasta (me and Sophie) and 2 muffins (Matt) and watched quite a few episodes of 'Flight of the Conchords' which is excellent and very funny. Lulu hadn't eaten so I put leftover Chinese noodles in a bowl for her.
Lulu: I can't eat that much
Me: Well, no one else is going to eat this so just eat what you want
Lulu: Ok. Put the rest of the rice on top whilst your at it.
Me: . . . . .
5 minutes later
Lulu. *licking bowl clean*
Me: Right. Couldn't manage it all then
Lulu: I am doing it for the anorexics
She then told us all about the diet she is on. Basically, you eat a packet of Rolos for lunch and have mango for dinner. Or, a burger for lunch, mango for dinner. This is perhaps why she ate us out of house and home. Chips and sausages for dinner, an ice cream for pudding, a bowl of bombay mix whilst watching the X factor and a bar of chocolate. And I tell you something, it might have been Clyde once, but the other 13 times it wasn't.
Also, the ice cream was very odd. It was a Crunchy one and when I bit into it, my ears started popping. I could not work out where the popping crackling noise was coming from so I kept very quiet for a few moments. Then I thought maybe it could be coming from the ice cream so I held it up to my ear and listened to that. Then I heard Sophie giggling. I asked Matt what she was laughing at. He said I was not meant to eat my ice cream so quickly and that I was supposed to appreciate the crackling. Sophie said it was very funny watching me listen to my ice cream and not be able to work out what the noise was. I am not sure why Crunchy made their ice creams to crackle but they did. It makes for a very disconcerting experience.
We played Monopoly whilst dinner was cooking.
It was very interesting to see the different ways families play this game. Matt's rules seemed pretty forgiving, whereas me, Lol and Sophie's version seemed to be charge money whenever and cheat. It took Sophie approximately a million years to get round the board once. 
Clyde slept through most of the action as he likes to be up with the larks in the morning. This was the first weekend that we have needed the heating on. We sat on the floor to play Monopoly and Sophie leaned against the radiator. At one point she said she felt like she was turning into Dad because she felt very very hot. Apparently, you do not need to be wearing 5 layers if you are also going to lean against a radiator and drink red wine.
In bed, I taught Lolly a very funny game you can play with Clyde. By funny I mean, THE SCARIEST GAME IN THE WHOLE WORLD. When he is under the bed, you tap your fingers on the headboard. It is a test of nerves because Clydes role in this game is to leap up the side of the bed like Jaws. Lulu did not believe me when I said this was a scary game. I think she does now.
It is lucky he is cute because she went home with loads of scratches over her hands (check out her purple nailvarnish. Only took her about 17 hours to do).On Sunday Matt wasn't feeling very well so he went home to his mother for some chicken soup and love. He doesn't really get that with me and Sophie. We come from a family where nothing can't be fixed with panadol, whisky or a plaster. He headed off into the weather (pouring rain) and me, So and Lol went to Brent Cross with our pal Ruth. I managed to buy a new black top. It just isn't a shopping trip unless you buy either a black top or a new black eyeliner. Sophie also managed to buy a top and was wearing it this morning. It looked very nice. Lulu bought some jeans. They were quite tight and she had problems bending down in them. She'll have to go back on the mango for dinner (trademark) diet this week or do some lunges to loosen them up.
On Sunday night we all went to mum and dads for dinner. It was delicious. So was the cheesecake for pudding. Sophie always makes herself eat the pudding because once she didn't and all week she was very upset about that. It is probably her only regret in life. Highlights of Sunday evening were Dad and Jamie telling us how they were bringing in the inside plants from the garden. Mum puts them out there in the summer. It is very funny listening to them tell us how they managed to get 'a tree' upstairs.
Dad, doing an impression of mum: Ooooh whats this bit of furniture here? We don't need that. Put a plant there instead. Ooooh what is that chair doing there? Bin it and put a plant there instead.
Toby gave them a laugh whilst they were wedged up the staircase though. He had made himself some toast and was taking it to his room to enjoy. Unfortunately on the way out the kitchen he dropped a slice on the floor and before you could say NO! BAD PUPPY! Boris had snarfed it down. Our dogs are the biggest thieves ever. Jamie made some mashed potato for them all. It took him two hours and was seasoned and smoothed and mashed to perfection. Then he left it on the side, picked up his guitar and wandered into the lounge to see mum and dad. Mum says there was a moment where he entered the lounge, strummed his guitar, looked at them and RAN back to the kitchen. To find Boris with his whole head in his carefully made mash. Boris got the guitar strummed over his head.
I think he thinks it was worth it thoughAlso, apparently Monty is depressed and has been for 2 weeks. He lay on the floor the whole time we were there and sighed. Poor Monty. Life is so hard being an overloved retriever.
Matt told mum he wasn't feeling well. She gave him a whisky.
It was a very good evening and not only because of the cheesecake. Grandma used to be a size 18 and bought a load of jackets from M&S. They are not jackets I would have bought myself but are surprisingly funky. She even sewed new buttons on them as she didn't like the originals. So now I have 5 new jackets with mother of pearl buttons. It says a lot about my grandma that the replaced buttons ended up costing more than the coat did. Her losing weight and giving me these jackets is the only silver lining to her getting cancer because otherwise it has been a total pain in the arse. My poor grandma. Hopefully she is back to her kickass self soon and is round here drinking and calling me a farm girl. I love my grandparents a lot.
We got a cab back to ours as it was still pretty weathery outside and I had a ton of coats to carry. It would have possibly been the only time in my life I would not have frozen to death waiting at the bus stop for a 121. I used to have to wait for that bus way back in Enfield Lock after uni. I would have already had at least an hours journey, 2 train rides and another bus by then. This would be the last leg of the trip home. I waited there once, in the winter. It was really dark and cold. I cried on the bus. Some guy asked if I was ok. I said: "I'm just soooo co-olddddd *sob*. And that is saying something because the women in my family do NOT like to be cold and will generally be wearing 4 layers of clothing. The last time I cried over something so stupid was during some serious PMT and I wanted some Philadelphia and lemon curd on French bread and mum forgot to buy the lemon curd. Man was I upset. This was after I had walked out of school, cried on the bus home and lay on the door mat because I had forgotten my key and standing and calling anyone was TOO MUCH.
Anywayyy. The cab driver was pretty rubbish. It is a simple route from my parents house to ours. Our house is quite tucked away but I was happy to direct the driver. This driver told me he knew where it was and was fine. He pulled away from my parents and drove the long way round the park. Then he decided to go down some twisty roads instead of 1 minute along the main. It seems odd that if you don't know where you are going, you go down the complicated streets. I directed him back to the main road. I said 'left right at the end of this road.' He misunderstood and started to turn right. I said no, left at the end. He said, BUT YOU SAID RIGHT. Hm. I did but you misunderstood. He irritated me quite a bit because I didn't care if he didn't know the exact route to our place but he never accepted help from me, tried to blame me for him going wrong and then at the end he decided to overcharge us by £2. This isn't much but we regularly get a cab for this journey and it is normally £7. We normally pay £10 and let them keep the change. This time he charged £9 and it was not the smoothest of rides. I did not give him a tip. We got out the car. Sophie said: "I hope you did not give him a tip."
We then had a nice cup of tea and watched the X Factor judges final-3 results. I don't know what was wrong with all the boys but they were SOBBING. Seriously, dudes, pull it together. Then we went to bed.
I am now at work wearing my new black top. It looks really nice with the bargainous £7 (PLUS postage and packaging) black leather boots I bought off eBay. In a minute I am going to go buy some salad for dinner to go with the ham we have been meaning to cook for about a month.
Friday, 3 October 2008
supernatural capers
Jess: Morning! Well, crispy cake was delish. We managed to prise a bit each from Ally's paws to take home. AND she bought me the new Supernatural DVD, Season 3 (Rosie, it's only one box this time so I can't give you half the DVDs like I did before!)
Sophie: Morning morning, I could eat some of that now. My morning -
Sophie (on the bus): Matt, why are we going to work an hour early again?
Matt: Because I have to go to a conference and we need to leave early to get there for 9.30
S: Oh. Where is it?
M: Royal Opera House in Covent Garden
S: Huh. You mean, the Covent Garden that is half an hour or less away from our house on the Picadilly Line?
S:????
S:????????????????????
M: Ehhhhh, yessss
S: So, you are travelling an hour to work and then and hour or so to Covent Garden?
M:.... YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!
S: Didn't think about saying "I'll meet you there" ?
M: Let's stop talking.
Sadie: Oh LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!
Jess: Oh God funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a plum!!!! I'd stretch that one out!
Sophie: Don't worry, I will. I feel wide awake. It's so odd. Even though the antibiotics gave me a rash they did clear up my sinuses. I can't remember the last time I woke up and it didn't feel like i'd been stamped in the head.
Jess: Oh that's good then!!! What's worse - an all invading rash or painful sinus'?
Sophie: The sinuses are worse! Hate it! Trying to work something really tedious out now.
Me: COOLNESS to the Supernatural present. That was nice of her! Watching the DVD's backwards was ok because at least I knew none of them died at the end of any episodes. Well. Kinda. Matt is an idiot. I cannot believe he didn't meet them there. Although at least you had someone to travel to work with and have now got some more overtime.
I do not want ANY of the crispy cake as my blackberries are delicious. YUM YUM YUM. And they are ever so good for you what with being a SUPERFOOD and all. So my skin etc is really feeling the benefits.
Jess: HAHA WHATEVER! Actually the crispy cake was 400 grams of dark+milk choccy, so can you IMAGINE the calorie count in it! Best not to have these things. We had a little bit each last night in the pub and I have to say the blueberries with the crispy and chocolate was inspired! It really worked. But dudes, very fattening. Blackberries are much better for us!
Matt episode still making me chuckle!
Me: Oink.
Sophie: Matt etc have to go early for tea and biscuits!!! I'm so jealous of tea, biscuits, lunch and Covent Garden. I hope it's so so so so boring. Also -
Sophie: Your shirt is HUGE dude
Matt: Yes
Sophie: But I mean, that shirt looks like a dress
Matt: Yep. I love this shirt. It is from the fatty bombatty section of John Lewis.
He is also wearing Converse ("I can't wear my smart shoes for work things") and all his jewellery collection.
Jess: Laughing! Really funny idiot chats you two have!
Me: Matt wears more jewellery than me most days. He is a funny guy. When me and Sophie tell him he is funny he gets all defensive and says we are mean because he says we mean it in a: "funny SPECIAL" kind of way.
Jess: Laughing!!!!!!!!! Dudes you DO mean it that way!
Me: Well sometimes we mean it that way.
Last night:
Sophie: Ro, those lillies you bought are lovely
Matt: Yeah, I really like them too.
Me: Wow. Matt. You NEVER like anything that I buy.
Matt: That isn't true. I loved the steak you bought home the other day.
He was very worried on Sunday when we came home with peacock feathers but he didn't say anything as he thought they were Ruths. He was very relieved when we took them home to mum.
Jess: Laughing!!! Peacock feathers inside the house are meant to be unlucky....
Me: Some lady interrupted us on the tube to say peacock feathers ARE unlucky unless they are paired together in which case they are LUCKY. So. DON'T WORRY!
Jess: Phewwwwwwwwwww
Me: The 'fairy liquid' here makes my hands sticky. Which is pretty much the opposite of what I want it to do.
Sophie: The cleaners water down our fake fairy as well. It is a false economy because it just means when I turn the bottle up to wash my hands half of it tips out instead of a normal amount.
Me: Yeah. It is very weird. I mean, already this is fake fairy we are using. Lets just leave it at that.
Jessica, I could eat that cake PLUS my blackberries. Although they WERE delicious and I was very upset when I ate them all because I thought I had one left. How was your evening? What present did you get Ally?
Jess: Lovely evening!!!! Managed to light candles and sing Happy Birthday in the pub! Got her some pendants and some charms for her charm bracelet. I think she got 5 pendants. But she is vair vair greedy.
Me: Well, as a wise old man in India once said, you can never have enough pendants.
Jess: Laughing!! Ally has just said she needs to go to the loo again as she has another shi* brewing. This is her 2nd one since 8am this morning!!! When I said I think we should change her name to turdy she got most defensive. Until Sarah said it should really be fatty turdy!!! How I laughed... and agreed!
Sophie: I laughed too.
Jess: LAUGHING!!! Dudes I've been so snappish to every fu**er whose been phoning me since 5 PAST 8!!!
Sophie: I don't answer to people before 9. And I'm snappy until 10. It's just intrusive.
Jess: I know!!!! You should have heard me...... Yes, no, no, yes, I don't know, no, yes, I have no idea, ...my name? Jessica.
Sadie: Laughing out loud at 'intrusive.' I haven't even said/snarled good morning to anyone yet. I'm sh*gged from loads of
horrid unrelenting work and I need my lunchtime coffee and sarnie.
So has Lulu actually started at college then? That was quick.
Me: Yep. She started on Monday. Don't know anything other than she is enjoying it, her tutor is HOTTT and she has friends who like to go for coffee. Am starvin marvin now so going to find some lunch.
Sadie: I want a hot panini. And a hot coffee. And a hot tutor.
Me: Me 3
Sophie: Me 4. I am ok on the food front but a hot coffee would be good. And a tutor too as long as I don't have to actually study anything workish. Found a cool game on my phone (by accident) where you go deep sea diving with fish. Killing a dull moment every hour or so. Just had this message..... "Mr Diggle rang asking for you, said he has left several messages and for you to call him back asap please." DELETE!!!
Jess: Laughing!!!!!!!!! DELEEEEEEEEEETE!
Me: He has a funny name. Tried to sit and eat my 10 for a £1 Tesco hot chicken wings and the phone kept ringing. Obviously. There is now spicy sauce all over the gaff. Also, 10 is slightly too many. I mean, I ate them all but now my mouth is approx 17 sizes bigger than it was. They really were spicy.
Jess: But dude your gob is so big you must have been able to fit all 10 in one go and have room for a monster truck too......... sorry, thought I was talking to Ally then....habit.
Me: . . .
Sadie: Mr Diggle cannot be normal otherwise he would have changed his name by now. And as we all know, there's no point phoning up insane people because, well, they are insane, so totally appropriate to delete and ignore message. Laughing at Ro's gob X 17!
Me: That's what I thought. Crazies shouldn't be given a phone.
Sadie: Yes, absolutely dootley.
Below is my boss's Resource Plan for the next two months for me. It made me laugh out loud when I saw the first line. Apparently I consult. Get me, I'm a consultant!
General Admin & Consultancy
Portia Data Trails
Migration of Recon to TLM for HK
Unquoted Price Report Spec
Hong Kong Caper Pricing Issue
New ER file from IDD to FMC- Completion of Spec
Automation of adding ICVC prices to Onshore Price file - Completion of Spec
Holiday, Training & other absence
Me: Hong Kong have a caper pricing issue? They should go to Tesco. They are pretty cheap
Sophie: I thought that too! I would do the last one straight away. Migration of Recon sounds like something out of Star Trek.
Sadie: Laughing at both of you. Next time they say at work Caper pricing issue I shall mumble 99p at Tescos under my breath.
Sophie: Morning morning, I could eat some of that now. My morning -
Sophie (on the bus): Matt, why are we going to work an hour early again?
Matt: Because I have to go to a conference and we need to leave early to get there for 9.30
S: Oh. Where is it?
M: Royal Opera House in Covent Garden
S: Huh. You mean, the Covent Garden that is half an hour or less away from our house on the Picadilly Line?
S:????
S:????????????????????
M: Ehhhhh, yessss
S: So, you are travelling an hour to work and then and hour or so to Covent Garden?
M:.... YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!
S: Didn't think about saying "I'll meet you there" ?
M: Let's stop talking.
Sadie: Oh LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!
Jess: Oh God funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a plum!!!! I'd stretch that one out!
Sophie: Don't worry, I will. I feel wide awake. It's so odd. Even though the antibiotics gave me a rash they did clear up my sinuses. I can't remember the last time I woke up and it didn't feel like i'd been stamped in the head.
Jess: Oh that's good then!!! What's worse - an all invading rash or painful sinus'?
Sophie: The sinuses are worse! Hate it! Trying to work something really tedious out now.
Me: COOLNESS to the Supernatural present. That was nice of her! Watching the DVD's backwards was ok because at least I knew none of them died at the end of any episodes. Well. Kinda. Matt is an idiot. I cannot believe he didn't meet them there. Although at least you had someone to travel to work with and have now got some more overtime.
I do not want ANY of the crispy cake as my blackberries are delicious. YUM YUM YUM. And they are ever so good for you what with being a SUPERFOOD and all. So my skin etc is really feeling the benefits.
Jess: HAHA WHATEVER! Actually the crispy cake was 400 grams of dark+milk choccy, so can you IMAGINE the calorie count in it! Best not to have these things. We had a little bit each last night in the pub and I have to say the blueberries with the crispy and chocolate was inspired! It really worked. But dudes, very fattening. Blackberries are much better for us!
Matt episode still making me chuckle!
Me: Oink.
Sophie: Matt etc have to go early for tea and biscuits!!! I'm so jealous of tea, biscuits, lunch and Covent Garden. I hope it's so so so so boring. Also -
Sophie: Your shirt is HUGE dude
Matt: Yes
Sophie: But I mean, that shirt looks like a dress
Matt: Yep. I love this shirt. It is from the fatty bombatty section of John Lewis.
He is also wearing Converse ("I can't wear my smart shoes for work things") and all his jewellery collection.
Jess: Laughing! Really funny idiot chats you two have!
Me: Matt wears more jewellery than me most days. He is a funny guy. When me and Sophie tell him he is funny he gets all defensive and says we are mean because he says we mean it in a: "funny SPECIAL" kind of way.
Jess: Laughing!!!!!!!!! Dudes you DO mean it that way!
Me: Well sometimes we mean it that way.
Last night:
Sophie: Ro, those lillies you bought are lovely
Matt: Yeah, I really like them too.
Me: Wow. Matt. You NEVER like anything that I buy.
Matt: That isn't true. I loved the steak you bought home the other day.
He was very worried on Sunday when we came home with peacock feathers but he didn't say anything as he thought they were Ruths. He was very relieved when we took them home to mum.
Jess: Laughing!!! Peacock feathers inside the house are meant to be unlucky....
Me: Some lady interrupted us on the tube to say peacock feathers ARE unlucky unless they are paired together in which case they are LUCKY. So. DON'T WORRY!
Jess: Phewwwwwwwwwww
Me: The 'fairy liquid' here makes my hands sticky. Which is pretty much the opposite of what I want it to do.
Sophie: The cleaners water down our fake fairy as well. It is a false economy because it just means when I turn the bottle up to wash my hands half of it tips out instead of a normal amount.
Me: Yeah. It is very weird. I mean, already this is fake fairy we are using. Lets just leave it at that.
Jessica, I could eat that cake PLUS my blackberries. Although they WERE delicious and I was very upset when I ate them all because I thought I had one left. How was your evening? What present did you get Ally?
Jess: Lovely evening!!!! Managed to light candles and sing Happy Birthday in the pub! Got her some pendants and some charms for her charm bracelet. I think she got 5 pendants. But she is vair vair greedy.
Me: Well, as a wise old man in India once said, you can never have enough pendants.
Jess: Laughing!! Ally has just said she needs to go to the loo again as she has another shi* brewing. This is her 2nd one since 8am this morning!!! When I said I think we should change her name to turdy she got most defensive. Until Sarah said it should really be fatty turdy!!! How I laughed... and agreed!
Sophie: I laughed too.
Jess: LAUGHING!!! Dudes I've been so snappish to every fu**er whose been phoning me since 5 PAST 8!!!
Sophie: I don't answer to people before 9. And I'm snappy until 10. It's just intrusive.
Jess: I know!!!! You should have heard me...... Yes, no, no, yes, I don't know, no, yes, I have no idea, ...my name? Jessica.
Sadie: Laughing out loud at 'intrusive.' I haven't even said/snarled good morning to anyone yet. I'm sh*gged from loads of
horrid unrelenting work and I need my lunchtime coffee and sarnie.
So has Lulu actually started at college then? That was quick.
Me: Yep. She started on Monday. Don't know anything other than she is enjoying it, her tutor is HOTTT and she has friends who like to go for coffee. Am starvin marvin now so going to find some lunch.
Sadie: I want a hot panini. And a hot coffee. And a hot tutor.
Me: Me 3
Sophie: Me 4. I am ok on the food front but a hot coffee would be good. And a tutor too as long as I don't have to actually study anything workish. Found a cool game on my phone (by accident) where you go deep sea diving with fish. Killing a dull moment every hour or so. Just had this message..... "Mr Diggle rang asking for you, said he has left several messages and for you to call him back asap please." DELETE!!!
Jess: Laughing!!!!!!!!! DELEEEEEEEEEETE!
Me: He has a funny name. Tried to sit and eat my 10 for a £1 Tesco hot chicken wings and the phone kept ringing. Obviously. There is now spicy sauce all over the gaff. Also, 10 is slightly too many. I mean, I ate them all but now my mouth is approx 17 sizes bigger than it was. They really were spicy.
Jess: But dude your gob is so big you must have been able to fit all 10 in one go and have room for a monster truck too......... sorry, thought I was talking to Ally then....habit.
Me: . . .
Sadie: Mr Diggle cannot be normal otherwise he would have changed his name by now. And as we all know, there's no point phoning up insane people because, well, they are insane, so totally appropriate to delete and ignore message. Laughing at Ro's gob X 17!
Me: That's what I thought. Crazies shouldn't be given a phone.
Sadie: Yes, absolutely dootley.
Below is my boss's Resource Plan for the next two months for me. It made me laugh out loud when I saw the first line. Apparently I consult. Get me, I'm a consultant!
General Admin & Consultancy
Portia Data Trails
Migration of Recon to TLM for HK
Unquoted Price Report Spec
Hong Kong Caper Pricing Issue
New ER file from IDD to FMC- Completion of Spec
Automation of adding ICVC prices to Onshore Price file - Completion of Spec
Holiday, Training & other absence
Me: Hong Kong have a caper pricing issue? They should go to Tesco. They are pretty cheap
Sophie: I thought that too! I would do the last one straight away. Migration of Recon sounds like something out of Star Trek.
Sadie: Laughing at both of you. Next time they say at work Caper pricing issue I shall mumble 99p at Tescos under my breath.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
headbanging longness for dinner
This blog is over a year old. Happy Birthday little blog of rubbish!
Here is a one year, beginning of the month meme:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I should probably go put on some makeup.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
£21.91
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Whore
4. Favorite planet?
I always liked Pluto and I kinda don't like all this shit spoken about it not being a planet
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Sophie. It is always Sophie. And she leaves me long rambling answerphone messages about potatoes and tonic water and the crazy lady upstairs' sex life. I don't know why. She once told my voicemail to "hold on" because I was calling her on another line.
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I like the Muse ring tone I have but I had to change it to a generic ringing noise as someone mental phoned my phone continually and I started to get sick of it.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a dress.
8. Do you label yourself?
Like, stick labels on my back? No. But I regularly find those apple stickers stuck to my sleeves.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
They are black ballet pumps from Accessorize and they absolutely stink.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Dark.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
They seemed alright. Their favourite planet was Earth. I would have said the same since mine probably is too. But I didn't because I never think of Earth as a planet.
12. What does your watch look like?
Looks very much like a mobile phone
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Discussing farting whilst I was in bed with a pal. Because she kept farting.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"I'm bored too." It was from my little sister.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Hm. I am thinking this is the Tesco Espress petrol station down the road
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Retarded. Apparently.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
M because I said I would meet her for a drink.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My kitten Clyde. He was also the last furry, muddy, ferocious thing I touched.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Alcohol, panadol and caffeine.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
23, this year, has been pretty good.
22. Your worst enemy?
I really cannot stand Narinder from Big Brother two. I don't know why.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Blue Windows one.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Any time Alan." After he thanked me for getting him some sausage rolls.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
That's quite tough. I would say flying but it seems quite selfish. A million pounds would probably have more of an effect on my life.
26. Do you like someone?
You'd hope, right.
27. The last song you listened to?
A song by Poison because we were watching 'Rock my World' or whatever that programme is called with Brett from Poison on. Where he has a house full of women all competing to go out with him. It is the skankingest programme EVER and I love it.
28. What time of day were you born?
Um. Evening.
29. What’s your favorite number?
I do not have a favourite number.
30. Where did you live in 1987?
Bush Hill Park, London
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not especially.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Matt is very jealous of my singing abilities.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I remember watching it in the lounge with my mum. I had just come home from school I think and she was just sitting there watching the tv. Really shocked. I don't think I understood it at the time.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Curse
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Yes. I would give you my last malteser. I don't really like them.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
On my hip
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Spanish
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes. Like, to the bed.
39. Are you touchy feely?
No.
40. What’s your life motto?
I don't think sleeping is a 'waste' of a third of my life. Or whatever those statistic or sayings or whatever are.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Phone, wallet, keys. Although, if I'm honest, more like wallet, face powder and hairbrush.
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
London
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Tesco shopping. I am cooking a nice fish curry for dinner. Actually, the last thing I paid for was a lump of ginger because I forgot to buy it when I was buying the other stuff. It cost 29p.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I wrote and sent a birthday card a couple of weeks ago.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Yep. I think.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I was thinking that my feet are really cold and when I get home I am going to have a nice hot bath.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
My dad says his ancestors travelled over in the long boats wearing horned helmets. I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
I don't look too bad right now. I mean, aside from the stinking shoes.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My feet are pretty cold. My back aches from sitting at the computer all day and my wrist is hurting from typing too much. Earlier, my lips hurt because I ate too much chilli.
50. Have you been burned by love?
No.
Clyde
Clyde! Clyde! Clyyyyyyyyyyyyyyde!
Want some dinner?
My weekend
(Which I wasn't going to write about because it is SO embarrassing and shaming. But I guess not really. These things happen. Mainly to me. God.)
Me: We went down to Norfolk on Saturday to see some family. I drank LOADS, fell over a stone bench and smacked my head on the concrete. My head is aching. My neck is aching. My back is aching. So stupid. Me and Sophie shared a room and I was sick on the floor too. I guess this is pay back. I have been eating the Panadol and have to sit at right angles to the computer.
Jess: ROSIE!!!!!! That is disgraceful behaviour!!!!!!!!!! But also, poor babe, not nice to hurt your head like that! ....... and dude, sort of a bit of respect thrown in too.....we'll never mention the sick bit again...cos we've all done it....
Me: Luckily I was only sick in front of Sophie. I fell over the bench in front of only a few people. Luckily most people were also drunk, including mum. Although, um, CAN I GET A CAT SCAN OVER HERE PLEASE?
Sophie: You were not just sick in front of me. You were sick on my phone, my bed, my dress AND you were pantless.
Jess: Oh dude!!!!! SO SO LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
S: Right, see you next week! I'm off to get married!
Me: Have fun!! Don't trip over any benches and smack your head . . .
S: How is your head?
Me: Not greaaat. But don't worry. I have a new box of Panadol
S: I seriously think you should see a doctor
Me: Nah, don't worry. Ain't nothin' in my head worth worrying about
S: HA. But still! I mean, you hit your head on concrete. It would have been much better if it had been grass or . . . wood or . .
Me: A mattress?
S: Yeah. Totally. Can you hear a ringing noise?
Me: Yeah. Can't everyone? It is really distracting me from the voices. . . You know, the ones that keep asking me to do IT related stuff . . .
This evening:
Sophie: I think I might make a rice dish this eve if that's ok. I really fancy that one mum makes sometimes. It's rice, veg and chicken so I'll get the stuff at lunch time. Also, I am babysitting tomorrow so we can't go swimming. Should have gone last night. I am rubbish.
Me: SOPHIE YOU BIG FAT BUM! Also, can't see me and Matt complaining about someone cooking for us. Sounds good.
Matt: I also can't go swimming tomorrow because I too am babysitting. And I can't swim.
.......
Sophie: I am losing the will to live.
Me: I can't believe it is only 3.40. Very distressing.
Sophie: But, my inbox is EMPTY!!!! Hallelujah!!!
Me: Mine -
Hey H,
There was a meeting next Thursday with I but I just reminded E and apparently you two are off to South Africa again so am rearranging. E has run through his calendar with me and it looks like we're all good for 2012.
Hope you are also free then!
Rosie
Hi R,
Well I was going to wait to tell you until we had SA confirmed but yes. Looks like we won't make I. I can't make 2012 as I plan to be in the Bahamas after I will win the lottery later this year! Sorry.
Sophie: I need some fries. I don't know what's wrong with me. Going to have some for dinner instead x
Matt: Cool
Me: Would you like me to pick some chips up from the fish and chip shop after work then?
Sophie: Nope I want frieserama. I was thinking about them last night. Going to be super healthy from tomorrow cause all this junk is making me feel ill and waddly. I don't know. I would say McDonalds but that is far. That Chicken Spot does fries. I dunno. What do you think?
Matt: You could buy some oven fries from Asda and then everybody is happy.
Sophie: I LIKE IT SPARROWBUM
Sophie: CURLY FRIES
Me: God called. He wants his master plan back
Here is a one year, beginning of the month meme:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I should probably go put on some makeup.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
£21.91
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Whore
4. Favorite planet?
I always liked Pluto and I kinda don't like all this shit spoken about it not being a planet
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Sophie. It is always Sophie. And she leaves me long rambling answerphone messages about potatoes and tonic water and the crazy lady upstairs' sex life. I don't know why. She once told my voicemail to "hold on" because I was calling her on another line.
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I like the Muse ring tone I have but I had to change it to a generic ringing noise as someone mental phoned my phone continually and I started to get sick of it.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a dress.
8. Do you label yourself?
Like, stick labels on my back? No. But I regularly find those apple stickers stuck to my sleeves.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
They are black ballet pumps from Accessorize and they absolutely stink.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Dark.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
They seemed alright. Their favourite planet was Earth. I would have said the same since mine probably is too. But I didn't because I never think of Earth as a planet.
12. What does your watch look like?
Looks very much like a mobile phone
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Discussing farting whilst I was in bed with a pal. Because she kept farting.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"I'm bored too." It was from my little sister.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Hm. I am thinking this is the Tesco Espress petrol station down the road
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Retarded. Apparently.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
M because I said I would meet her for a drink.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My kitten Clyde. He was also the last furry, muddy, ferocious thing I touched.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Alcohol, panadol and caffeine.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
23, this year, has been pretty good.
22. Your worst enemy?
I really cannot stand Narinder from Big Brother two. I don't know why.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Blue Windows one.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Any time Alan." After he thanked me for getting him some sausage rolls.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
That's quite tough. I would say flying but it seems quite selfish. A million pounds would probably have more of an effect on my life.
26. Do you like someone?
You'd hope, right.
27. The last song you listened to?
A song by Poison because we were watching 'Rock my World' or whatever that programme is called with Brett from Poison on. Where he has a house full of women all competing to go out with him. It is the skankingest programme EVER and I love it.
28. What time of day were you born?
Um. Evening.
29. What’s your favorite number?
I do not have a favourite number.
30. Where did you live in 1987?
Bush Hill Park, London
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not especially.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Matt is very jealous of my singing abilities.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I remember watching it in the lounge with my mum. I had just come home from school I think and she was just sitting there watching the tv. Really shocked. I don't think I understood it at the time.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Curse
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Yes. I would give you my last malteser. I don't really like them.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
On my hip
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Spanish
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes. Like, to the bed.
39. Are you touchy feely?
No.
40. What’s your life motto?
I don't think sleeping is a 'waste' of a third of my life. Or whatever those statistic or sayings or whatever are.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Phone, wallet, keys. Although, if I'm honest, more like wallet, face powder and hairbrush.
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
London
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Tesco shopping. I am cooking a nice fish curry for dinner. Actually, the last thing I paid for was a lump of ginger because I forgot to buy it when I was buying the other stuff. It cost 29p.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I wrote and sent a birthday card a couple of weeks ago.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Yep. I think.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I was thinking that my feet are really cold and when I get home I am going to have a nice hot bath.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
My dad says his ancestors travelled over in the long boats wearing horned helmets. I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
I don't look too bad right now. I mean, aside from the stinking shoes.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My feet are pretty cold. My back aches from sitting at the computer all day and my wrist is hurting from typing too much. Earlier, my lips hurt because I ate too much chilli.
50. Have you been burned by love?
No.
Clyde
Clyde! Clyde! Clyyyyyyyyyyyyyyde!
Want some dinner?
My weekend
(Which I wasn't going to write about because it is SO embarrassing and shaming. But I guess not really. These things happen. Mainly to me. God.)
Me: We went down to Norfolk on Saturday to see some family. I drank LOADS, fell over a stone bench and smacked my head on the concrete. My head is aching. My neck is aching. My back is aching. So stupid. Me and Sophie shared a room and I was sick on the floor too. I guess this is pay back. I have been eating the Panadol and have to sit at right angles to the computer.
Jess: ROSIE!!!!!! That is disgraceful behaviour!!!!!!!!!! But also, poor babe, not nice to hurt your head like that! ....... and dude, sort of a bit of respect thrown in too.....we'll never mention the sick bit again...cos we've all done it....
Me: Luckily I was only sick in front of Sophie. I fell over the bench in front of only a few people. Luckily most people were also drunk, including mum. Although, um, CAN I GET A CAT SCAN OVER HERE PLEASE?
Sophie: You were not just sick in front of me. You were sick on my phone, my bed, my dress AND you were pantless.
Jess: Oh dude!!!!! SO SO LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
S: Right, see you next week! I'm off to get married!
Me: Have fun!! Don't trip over any benches and smack your head . . .
S: How is your head?
Me: Not greaaat. But don't worry. I have a new box of Panadol
S: I seriously think you should see a doctor
Me: Nah, don't worry. Ain't nothin' in my head worth worrying about
S: HA. But still! I mean, you hit your head on concrete. It would have been much better if it had been grass or . . . wood or . .
Me: A mattress?
S: Yeah. Totally. Can you hear a ringing noise?
Me: Yeah. Can't everyone? It is really distracting me from the voices. . . You know, the ones that keep asking me to do IT related stuff . . .
This evening:
Sophie: I think I might make a rice dish this eve if that's ok. I really fancy that one mum makes sometimes. It's rice, veg and chicken so I'll get the stuff at lunch time. Also, I am babysitting tomorrow so we can't go swimming. Should have gone last night. I am rubbish.
Me: SOPHIE YOU BIG FAT BUM! Also, can't see me and Matt complaining about someone cooking for us. Sounds good.
Matt: I also can't go swimming tomorrow because I too am babysitting. And I can't swim.
.......
Sophie: I am losing the will to live.
Me: I can't believe it is only 3.40. Very distressing.
Sophie: But, my inbox is EMPTY!!!! Hallelujah!!!
Me: Mine -
Hey H,
There was a meeting next Thursday with I but I just reminded E and apparently you two are off to South Africa again so am rearranging. E has run through his calendar with me and it looks like we're all good for 2012.
Hope you are also free then!
Rosie
Hi R,
Well I was going to wait to tell you until we had SA confirmed but yes. Looks like we won't make I. I can't make 2012 as I plan to be in the Bahamas after I will win the lottery later this year! Sorry.
Sophie: I need some fries. I don't know what's wrong with me. Going to have some for dinner instead x
Matt: Cool
Me: Would you like me to pick some chips up from the fish and chip shop after work then?
Sophie: Nope I want frieserama. I was thinking about them last night. Going to be super healthy from tomorrow cause all this junk is making me feel ill and waddly. I don't know. I would say McDonalds but that is far. That Chicken Spot does fries. I dunno. What do you think?
Matt: You could buy some oven fries from Asda and then everybody is happy.
Sophie: I LIKE IT SPARROWBUM
Sophie: CURLY FRIES
Me: God called. He wants his master plan back
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