what's occurring?

Again with the not updating. And the being made redundant. Plus I lost my phone. That is because it doesn't rain IT SHITS ON YOUR HEAD.
Here is an update via email:

Me: Came in this morning to my formal redundancy letter :(
Ruth came round last night with pizza and wine so at least had a lovely evening.
...Sophie ruined it a little by coming home and puking like a mule.

Sophie: Hello, I am at home this day. Feeling a tad better now. Just stomach aches and rumbles. Very embarrassing. Think I got food poisoning from a Hoisin Duck Wrap from Tesco cos when I was eating it I thought 'this tastes funny'. I thought I was never going to get home. Was sick along B Ave, inside 51 B Ave a few times(had to keep it quiet from mum and dad because didnt want them worrying before they go on hol), at Southgate station a couple of times, In Southgate Mcdonalds a couple of times. Then I started crying. IN THE STREET. Just so embarrassing. Thought I was never going to get home and be able to puke in my own toilet ALL EVENING.
Would like to say I cleaned and bleached all loos involved but sadly for commuters this morning I did not clean the streets.
I would also like to add the puking was not the worst part there were other worse horrors that I can't face going in to.
Thank God Matt was there because I would probably still be slumped against a wall somewhere around Southgate. I haven't managed to wash yet because I'm thinking that I might be sick in hot steam. URGHHHHHHHH

Jess: Oh poor Sophie!!!!
I hope you are feeling better hon...that's a shi88y thing to happen!!! It certainly sounds like F.P, bless nasty thing to happen..

Me: Just adding to the puke along our road by the pubs innit.
Hope it IS food poisoning as if I am sick on my weekend I'll be kinda upset.

Jess: Rosie that's not being very supportive....if you ARE sick this weekend it will burn off the PIZZA you had.

Sophie: So not worth the day off work!! Does anyone have any good news?!!!! This is where you need Lulu to cheer you up. Apparently her 'of' and 'off' spelling test was real.
Actually, good news is that Ruth is very sweet. I text her yesterday morn to say that Ro had some bad news and might need a hug/drink and I got a reply 2 mins later saying "I'll be round at 7 with the non-healthy options".

Sadie: Bless

Me: HAHA! Mmmmm minstrels.

Jess: Poor Soph! No good news, but good news that I'm not 'puking like a mule' as Ro so delicately put, and not redundant(so far). We need something nice to happen girls. If anyone wants coffee tomorrow let me know.

Me: She was.

Jess: Very good expression!

Sophie: Me: Matt I'm sooooooo embarrassed.
Matt: Don't worry, nobody noticed.
What a lovely liar. I would like a coffee

Jess: Ar he's sweet!! OK. Lovely to coffee

Me: HAHA! Oh well. I always think, eh, I'm NEVER going to be the most disgusting person on public transport puking or not.
Clyde made Ruth laugh A LOT last night. He was sitting staring up at the wall at something (dead people) and then would LEAP up as high as he could (few cm's) and stretch out his paws. For AGES he did that (2 minutes) and then EXHAUSTION made him lie on the sofa with her. Until she petted him and then he jumped down, looked at her with disgust, and went to his basket. Seconded to coffee. Although at some point I've been volunteered to walk the dogs whilst ma and pa are in Bruges.
Can have a look in Next for some interview trousers. Deep joy.

Sadie: Laughing!

Jess: I love that cat!!!!
Oh I'll walk the dogs wiv you!!

Sophie: Me too.

Sadie: Sophs, hope you're feeling better now. I want coffee, and I want to walk the dogs, but I also need some help.
Wardrobe turned up out of the blue last night, man said he took a chance even though he hadnt booked it with me. I hadnt taken the bannister off so couldnt attempt to get it upstairs. So I need someone to help me get it up the stairs.
And also I need Rosie to take me to the dump. Not to dump me you understand, though to be fair I am a bit creaky and some bits dont work so good no more. Its the TV in my front garden, and the bust bread machine that gotta go.
Pretty please.

Sophie: IT HURTS TO LAUGH! Tee hee. I will help. Not that strong though. I think wardrobe pushing is the job for an ox...

Me. If you 2 aren't aware, she is referring to me and the time we were in the kebab shop and the kebab man said I was like an ox. She is very RUDE even though I have been very sympathetic to her malady. FRIED EGGS sophie FRIED EGGS

Jess: Oh funny!!!

Sophie: That is so cruel. Just managed to shower. Feels so good.

Me: HIGH FIVE!!! Try managing a hoover!! Is good for recovery :) Fried eggs are the WORST thing to think of when you feel sick. Yuk. Fried eggs. Who wants to think of fried eggs when they are feeling vomitous? Noone, that's who.

Jess: Heh heh

Sophie: WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THEM??

Sadie: Really REALLY laughing! Poor Sophie, she needs sympathy not cruel (but hilarious) comments.

Jess: FFD!!!!! Really laughed at that!

Sophie: I'm glad you lot can see the funny side. Makes me feel so much better.

Me: Ruth is an occupational therapist. She would probably also suggest some soothing cooking. Perhaps around 7pm.

Jess: Funny!!

Sophie: Think I would die unfortunately. Had to lie down after shower. What a pity.

Jess: Yes im not sure we're up to lifting wardrobes up stairs?

Sadie: Its not really heavy, I lifted it out of the man with a van's van, with the man with the van.

Sophie: Was the man with the van called Stan?

Sadie: I didn't catch his name as we didn't formally introduce ourselves. I shagged him anyway.

Sophie: Shocking. Look at this email:
From: Kendra at Tesco
Dear Miss S,
We've noticed that you haven't placed a grocery shop with us for a while, and we hope that we haven't let you down.
Please don't forget how easy and convenient it is to shop online. All the purchases you've made online and in-store are still kept in 'My Favourites'.
And because we'd really like to welcome you back, we'll give you £7.50 off your next grocery order when you spend £75 or more.
So why not let us do your shopping for you again soon?
Best wishes,
Kendra

From: Sophie

Dear Kendra,

Haven't shopped online for a while, that is correct. The reason for this is because we were at the end of the delivery run and our items usually turned up late and somewhat soggy. I think things melted on other things by the time they got to us. Quite often our groceries were missing or wrong or on the use by date.

I would also like to add that your Hoisin Duck Wrap made me violently ill with food poisoning and its an experience I never wish to repeat.

Kind regards,

Sophie

Me: That made me laugh!!

Sadie: Me too! Classic! Well done you!

Jess: MAN THAT WAS AN AWESOME REPLY!!!!!!! I respect you forever!!! I'm having a shi8e afternoon, people having a go at me for things wot is NOT my fault!!!! I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sophie: Buy them duck wraps!

Jess: Excellent idea!!

Me: JESS YOU JUST 'replied all' ON THAT EMAIL AND SENT IT TO TESCO!!! HA HA

Jess: OH GOD NO NO NO NO! DUDE IM HAVING A REEEELY STRESSED OUT BTCH FROM HELL TIME HERE!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO EXPECT ME TO FOCUS!!!

Sadie: Oh, really laughing now!!!!!!!!!!! Dude! Snorting! Snorting. Big piles of snort on my keyboard!


So- there you go! Next up, the saga of the (non-heavy my butt) wardrobe.

every time I read this I laugh

Dad: Lu Lu say she got 14 out of 14 for spelling today. One of the words was help another was of. She is very please with her result.

Sophie: What?!

Me: "One of the words was help another was of" - Sophie - One of the words was 'help,' another was 'of'

Jess: FD!

Me: Took a while to work out. Am surprised she got of actually and didnt write off or something

Lulu: i only got it right cos i ididnt no that u HAD to put 2 'ff' 's when writing off. i thought it was just 1. didnt no there was any difference :S

Me: You're joking . . . right?

Sophie: Im confused. Why was Lulu in a Primary School having a test and is this her?

Lulu: cos ur mum said u r an idiot thats why

Sophie: YOU ARE

Jess: Wtf?????? is.going.on?

batchap and time man

Hola!
Haven't updated this for a long long while and that is because had some stressful times lately. However, when I learnt of the stressful times, my aunt took me and my sister out for margaritas and wine and the rest of my family did similar and the stress reduced when I realised what a great family I had and that not only do these things happen but that my family will always be there. And that is pretty great.

Things that have happened (I will add pictures when my phone stops being silly and lets me send them to the computer)
Firstly, and most importantly, Sophie passed her driving test. I may be exaggerating a little but after 5 years and a billion lessons and whatnot, it has come as something of a relief. I baked her a banana cake in celebration.

Today I went for a walk with my padders and a small child he looks after in his childminder capacity. He was booted out the house by my mother with Brandon and the 2 dogs and told they could not come back for at least 2 hours. This is because she had a new baby coming to visit her and Brandon causes a touch of mayhem.
Me and B and dad had a really good walk. If you ask B what happened on the walk he will say: MARK FELL IN THE RIVER! And he will keep saying it until my dad starts looking slightly cross and say: I am going to put YOU in the river in a minute.

Even though I haven't written in this for ages, I can't actually think of anything else to say. Except that, until about last year, I never saw the bat in the Batman logo. This seems to be UNBELIEVABLE to the people I told who don't seem to understand that I never really analysed the logo or cared or whatnot. I just used to see the yellow tonsil shapes. I also never realised that the Victorian Era was so called because it covered the reign of Victoria. Same with Edwardian etc. I KNOW that I must have been told this at school or WHATEVER but until I was helping my little sister with her homework it wasn't really something I thought about. Made a lot of sense when I read it though. Same when I saw the Bat logo. Like, ohhhh. Cool. Clever.

ANYWAYZ.

trouserless

Things that you say at 5am:


Woken up by Clyde leaping onto dresser:
Mmmmmmok well, you can play with my makeup but try not to tangle my necklaces

Clyde drinking out your water glass:
Try not to spill that on my phone

Clyde snuggling/sticking his head in your face:
Cute. Lets do this another time though cos this is too early. K?

Clyde biting your hands:
ow. this really hurts. please stop

Clyde scratching the fake wood:
Dude, that's not realllll. Go do it somewhere else.

Things that you say at 7.30am:


Clyde leaping onto the dresser:
OMG GET DOWN YOU IDIOT WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION!!?????

Clyde drinking out your water glass:
DUDE!!! OMG!!!! I DRINK THAT!!! HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING IT TOO???? GROSS!!!

Clyde snuggling/sticking his head in your face:
This doesn't happen when it's a convenient time. E.g. Not fuck o'clock

Clyde biting your hands:
OW THAT HURTS JESUS CHRIST CAT

Clyde scratching the fake wood:
No, srsly, that ain't real wood. Stop it before it looks worse than it does... are you even listening to me?

Jess: Oh god I love this email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeping it!

Sadie: Laughing big time! I'm beginning to be grateful I dont have a cat!

Sophie: Last night -
*THUMPPPPPPPP CRASH*
Matt: Erm… Clyde?
Matt: Clyde!
Matt: CLYDE!
Clyde: …. *looking*
Matt: Clyde, are Clyde’s allowed up there?
Clyde: *Looking*
Clyde: *Still just generally looking*
Matt: It’s ok buddy I’ll get you down
Matt: (Whispering) It’s ok, I won’t tell Sophie what your arse has just done to her glasses
Me: OH MY GOD YOU FAT EFFING CAT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY YOU AREN’T ALLOWED UP THERE YOU GINORMOUS BL**DY LUMP
Matt: Poor Clyde, I think you have upset him
Clyde *Still just looking*
Me: POOR CLYDE?! RANTRANTRANT

Jess: Srsly fu88ing funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Love it!!!


Me: You know, it's funny when it happens to you. And your stuff.

Jess: Snigger

Me: When I got home last night, Sophie and Matt were lounging on their bed. I went in and had a chat. Went out and bumped into Clyde outside. Picked him up and went back in their room and was all: Look Clyde, all your family together! I put him on the bed. He LEAPED off and shot out the door. Matt: "Well. Huh. That was pretty insulting."

Sophie: Yes, this was 10 mins after the whole sitting on my glasses situation. He had just endured a bit of an earful.
I had a big fat headache last night and came home after an hour and a half driving lesson. Was going to put some washing on and think about dinner but I just took my trousers off and went to bed. Then Clyde came in and sat on me. That Matt came home and was like, what is going on? And then he sat on the bed watching telly. Then Rosie came home and was all, what is going on? And I just wanted to be in bed trouserless and in peace and dark.

Me: *All in bedroom*
Sophie: I would just like you both to know that I'm trouserless.
Me: Eh, you're always naked
Matt: *doesn't even acknowledge*

Jess: Oh laughing still!!

Sadie: FD! All your nightly conversations just excellent!

Matts baby

Comments on my Facebook 'Clyde' albums' newest photo addition:



Lisa: As soon as I saw this album had been updated I got all excited that it'd be Clyde in the snow!!!!! He's giving you the evil eye though... I bet you ran away sharpish when he was let loose after having his picture taken!!!!

Me: HAHA!! Lisa, it was far too blimmin cold for me to go and lark about in the snow taking pictures. I don't think Clyde was even out there for too long, he likes visiting the crazy house next door. He was soaking the whole house though every time he dashed in and out.

Annette: I don't think the weight control biscuits are working.

Lisa: You haven't put poor Clyde on a diet?????

Me: HAHA! Matt bought ONE box of weight control biscuits to 2 normal. PLUS, moments after this photo, Matt fed Clyde an extra meal because he 'felt sorry for him getting wet playing in the snow.' He should be careful, Clyde probably weighs about the same as him. "Poor Clyde." MOST amusing

Sophie: Look how big his foot is. Not to mention his evil eyes.

Annette: Don't say such horrible things about my baby boy!

Matt: Harsh!

Sophie: Just now...
*THUMP CRASH*
Matt: Clyde
Matt: CLYDE!
Clyde: ....
Matt: Clyde, are Clyde's allowed up there? Get Down
Clyde: ....
Matt: It's ok, I'll gently lift you down.
Clyde:...

butts

I went to uni with this guy. He is still at uni now because, for some reason, he decided to do a Masters. At uni I thought he was a bit of a jerk. Like, taking the piss out of people for laughs. It all stopped when I yelled at him. But he started talking to me online, apologised for not realising he was a big jerk and is now... kinda funny. The butt thing is because one of his jokes was to tell everyone I loved butt sex. Just out of the blue. Said that. He is pretty lucky I just yelled at him, come to think of it.

Sonny: What's up bum girl?

Rosie: You are.

Sonny: : )

Rosie: My butt looked great on Tuesday. For reals. OH! Did you get a snow day!!??? ME TOO!!

Sonny: I've been off uni all week. Lectures today though. What did you get up to on Tuesday?

Rosie: Because of the snow? Cool. Tuesday?? Work. Had to trek in. Left early though because am scared of breaking a hip on the black ice

Sonny: Your bum looked good at work?

Rosie: What?? Oh. Are we back to my butt? Gosh. That is all you talk about. It's sad really

Sonny: 2 things on my mind...

Rosie: Left cheek. And right.

Sonny: LOL! Liverpool and sex : )

Rosie: Sad. To the Liverpool part. I had to listen to the live transfer coverage on Monday

Sonny: You don't deny the sex part then!

Rosie: uu - That was supposed to be a butt smiley. I guess I'm not down with the kids enough to know how to do that.

Sonny: Lol

Rosie: EXCEPT I saw some Obama footage and this interviewer was asking him about his fist bumping. Except she called it FISTING. Obama. Fists :O

Sonny: Lol

Rosie: YES WE DID

Sonny: You're nuts

Rosie: What? Why? Because I'm topical?

Sonny: Just how you put things. Neway mate. I gotta get ready to go uni

Rosie: Student bum

Sonny: I'm not a typical student bum

Rosie: Stop talking about bums. Pervert

Sonny: YOU STARTED IT

Rosie: Definitely did not.

Sonny: Okkkkk.

Prehistoric Matt

Friday
Met Sophie and Matt in Asda for a Big Shop. I think it helps living with people and budgeting with people who are Amusing. For e.g. Asda was packed and the aisles were crammed with people and trollies. It was easier to leave your trolly at the end of the aisle and grab what you wanted. Then go hunt down Matt and his bobbly head as he wanders off with the trolly you thought you'd left next to the toilet rolls. We had McDonalds for dinner. Bloody delicious.

Saturday
Went shopping with Sophie for Matts birthday present and other peoples and bla bla. We'd made a list of everything we needed and yet still ended up wandering round and round, going into the same shops numerous times.
That evening, ma and pa and Lol came over for Matt's birthday and give him the Wii Guitar World Band Tour thingy game we'd all chipped in for. Carrying that thing round Enfield was awkward in the extreme.
I think he liked it though. Plus Sophie has got really good at making chicken Korma. It was absolutely delicious. And so were the homemade onion bhajis.
Mum made a birthday cake and bought 24 candles. It took us at LEAST 5 minutes to light them all. Then Matt blew them out and someone made me relight them all so that they could take a photo.

Sunday
Matt and Sophie went to the cinema and out for dinner for Matt's birthday. I was told I was allowed an orgy of up to 6 men OR as many dwarves/midgets as I liked. Instead I was visited by almost the OPPOSITE of a midget orgy as Ruth and her FIANCE came over to show me her engagement ring and her new car. So happy for her/them. Apparently Ruth's dad (my Uncle Buck) told Andy he had had a fight with the ugly stick. Twice. And lost. Welcome to the family.
Later that evening, I heard Sophie and Matt coming down the drive. I went to open the door. And waited with the door open for about 10 minutes. I was like, what is holding them up???!!!! Writing 'boobs' on my car in the snow.

Monday
Woke up to snow. A whole lot of snow. Buses were cancelled. Sophie and Matt rejoiced. No news on my tube line. Put on my wellies, packed my lunch and went out. As I walked along, snow soaking me, no difference between road and pavement, falling into snow drifts... etc etc... I thought, this is RIDICULOUS. When I got to the station, it was closed. YES!!!!!!!!! SNOW! DAY! It was quite eerie actually as there was almost no traffic and it was totally silent. I trudged back home and had a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich with Sophie and Matt. Then we all rocked out on Matt's World Tour drums and guitar. Great fun. Then we had birthday cake. Then we had a nap. Pasta. More birthday cake.... It was a GREAT day.