fork off

There used to be forks in the office and now there are none.

*Lunch Time*

Lorenzo: Where are all the forks?

Me: Dunno, think (CEO) bins them when he has finished and we won’t replace them.

L: But I have spaghetti for lunch!!

Me: There are spoons in the cupboard still…

L: Oh my God!! Someone must know where the forks are!! I am going to send an email line round with the subject line – Re: Forks – Where are they? Then if no one replies I am going to start hiding the rest of the cutlery. Until people are reduced to eating their soup with a knife! Then I will hide the mugs! And the kettle! Then…

Me: This has really got to you, huh?

L: My spaghetti I had to cut into hundreds of pieces. Like a child. This is so degrading.

I can’t capture the moment enough but he was really wound up. Don’t be taking an Italians fork when he has spaghetti for lunch.

Also,

I will totally laugh if you tell me you want a ’50 inch monster’ even though I know you are talking about a TV.

I will also laugh if you say ‘I need a knob’ even though I know you are talking about a projector screen.

And I always smirk when the lift says ‘going down.’ .