Jenna: When you find yourself thinking: ‘I can’t be bothered to shave my legs because no one is going to see them’ is when you know you need a shag.
Me: Cheers Jenna. I mean, I like you and all ….
J: Waheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy where’s my razor?
Me: Aw baby I like a bit of stubble. And if you could also maybe wear a fake beard? And call yourself Bob?
J: Well, I have a date this weekend anyway so I don’t need you. So ner. He is taking me to the zoo. I said: ‘Ok that’s fine, but no monkeying around!’ Heh, you see what I did there? Monkeying around.
Me: Yeah it was reallllllll subtle. Oh, and! You know how all we learnt in Spanish was where is my hat? Well I said it to a Spanish friend of mine last night and he was kinda shocked. Apparently you gotta be real careful with the pronunciation cos hat in Spanish sounds much like condom. I was all: ‘whoaaaa no wonder I got laid whenever I said that.’
J: Ha ha theres you thinking it was your exotic and erotic accent.
Me: Yeah I know. Egg on my face
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