Me: My tomatoes are delicious.
Jess: EH? I had sushi for lunch.
Me: I had a chicken bagel and some veges Sophie cut up. I pretended they were cake. Mmm mmm mmm mmm MMM.
Jess: Hmm mmm m mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm yummy...... Cake is bad. Veggies are good...I feel I should be finishing that sentence off with a gangster rap lyric thingy.... something in da hood!
Me: Cake is bad
Veggies are good
Don't hit the spot like cake could
Tho
Jess: Well up to the 'tho' I was wondering if I was emailing notorius B.I.G.
Me: You are emailing notorious B.I.G... is why I am eating veggies innit.
Jess: Ffddd!
Sophie: That is well gangsta… trippin
Me: I know. Think I have found an alternative career. GANGSTA aiiiiiight
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
romancinnnnn
Backstory: David is back in the dating game. Him trying out some chat up lines:
Get in the van
Don't scream
Should I bother flirting or shall I just get out the Rohypnol now?
etc. They amused me A LOT but I'm sick.
David: Afternoon Bounciepoo
Me: Keep calling me that and I will mash you
David: I'd just enjoy that..
Me: Pervert
David: Shut up and get in the van
Me: You WISH you had a van
David: I don't NEED a van
Me: I really don't think throwing someone over the back of your bike is going to work....
David: I got a potato sack and a bloody big shopping basket. Shut up and get on the bike
Me: Dude. I really don't want to see you on CrimeWatch tomorrow - man on pushbike tries to kidnap woman...
David: True.. just invite me over then. Less paperwork.
Me: ROMANTIC
Jess: I have so laughed at David!!!! David who IS David, I love him already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I call him Dave. Suits him more. He hates it. He says it makes him sound like an idiot. I'm all *.....*
Jess: So is he Dave? or Roderick? I laughed out loud again and showed Ally your Dave conversation!!!
Me: Was really making me laugh too. Which is unfortunate in a public place... laughing at rape... ho hum.
Jess: Dave's come from Dagenham.........it's a given........me and Ally know this for fact...Dave is Dagenham Dave, a bit like comedy Deeve is from oop north.
Me: "All Daves are from Dagenham. FACT."
HAHA. He is Enfield Tahnnnnnnnn mate.
Also, he is really into Arnold Swartzenegger (whatever spellchecker). Like, really. Amusingly really. We went to Forbidden Planet on Friday (OH DEARSSS) and he casuallyyyyy leant on the counter and was all, er... mate... do you have any... er... TERMINATOR stuff? And the guy was all, dude, no. And Dave was all, lets leave now. But he said it to empty air because I was disassociating.
Jess: SRSLY.... I'm pissing myself!!!
Me: He is also amusingly ... slow? literal? Like, we were in Spitalfields and he picked up Jeff Buckleys album and I said, oh, does it have Alexandra Burke singing Hallelujah on it? And he was all ER NO DUH I DON'T THINK SO. And I'm all, shut up Dave
Jess: How did you meet Dave from Dagenham?
Me: Dave is more Matt's mate I think... well. We used to all work in the library together and his evening was with Matt (mine was with Fiontan) and if you weren't paired with someone on an evening you didn't really see them as most non-casual staff did Saturdays elsewhere.
ANYWAY. I used to chat to him a bit though. He fancied Sophie. He cracked Matt up.
I think he used to text Matt a bit but they never met up. Then I was online one day and David started chatting to me. Then I think he texted Matt and was all, I've broken up with my gf lets all go out drinking. And I chatted to him online more. We went out drinking.. and he's become a mate.
I was like, MATT. DAVE IS REALLY AMUSING. And Matt was all DUH! Don't you remember me telling you he read books on tanks at the counter?? And I was all NOW I UNDERSTAND. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Jess: SRSLY...I LOVE HIM and I don't know him.....
Me: Some people are so amusing. He walks like Terminator too. As in, straight across a road. I'm all *cover eyes.*
And when we got off at my station (he came back to mine for a cuppa) and he marched off. I was all WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO MINE BEFORE. COME BACK. Like, he was HERDING ME the wrong way.
Then, we sat in the lounge drinking tea. And he was all, what a nice view. I'm really digging this room. Loving the pictures, the sofas are cool, all those c.d's are amazing.. BUT. What SKIP did you drag that tv out of??
OH AND. TALKINGGGG OF HERDING:
When me Sophie and Sadie went to Brent Cross, Sophie and Sadie kept wandering in the wrong direction. Sophie had a go at me because she was all GOD IT IS LIKE A ROUTE MARCH just because I was like LEFT. But if I hadn't of said it, those 2 have ended up in Early Learning.
ANYWAY. We were on the A10 shopping thing and whilst Matt was in JJB's we headed to Homebase. A straight line of shops. Homebase big and green at the end.... so why Sophie and Lulu headed into Comet I DON'T KNOW.
And Lulu was all, gosh, we would have worked it out eventually.
And I'm all EVENTUALLY??? Why do you need time to work out that this shop is BLATANTLY not HOMEBASE???
Jess: SNIGGER!!! man I'm srsly loving this dude!!
And, Dude I'm so with you on the wandering malarkey, Sadie does it ALL the time.... but she lives in her own little world, like Sophie, so we're used to it!!! Funny tho...... Sophie, Lulu and Sadie are a disaster waiting to happen......oh no, hang on too fu**ing late!!!
Am still laughing out loud at Dave leaning on the counter and going, mate, have you any terminator stuff.. classic!!!
Me: If Sophie starts driving. And we go somewhere. And she drives. I'm going to be scared to fall asleep incase we end up in Scotland.
How's Ally's driving??!! Booked any road trips???
Him leaning on the counter and trying to be nonchalant about it all .. HAHAHAHAHA.
Jess: She hasn't actually driven yet but that is because her car has been out of action.... hey dude she's drving us to Grandmas on April 26th! But she's gonna have to drink to put up with mad June and ken, and of course you, and mark, and lulu, and Lucy... Also, Ro, I can't get past the counter thing...I'm still enjoying and laughing...just shared with Ally.
Me: HAHA! I hid behind some Twilight merchandise.
She's going to drive down? Ar that's wicked! Good to see her! Why is her car out of action? Did she run someone over? She really shouldn't. That dents up cars more than you'd think.
I'm loving my gma and pa so no rudeness about them! Fingers crossed that I have a job by then.
Jess: FUNNY!!! Her car is just not recognising the key entry code.... what thef**kever! She wants to run someone over badly tho....(secretly, she says, that's why she hasn't got in the car yet).
Me: Key entry code? Goodness. Fancy. When my car won't let me in (e.g. I've locked the keys inside) I just pull down the corner of the door.
Running people over is tempting but damaging to a small vehicle like mine. Also, I don't want to drive around with a gaffer taped up bonnet again.
Jess: Oh man funny!!!
Get in the van
Don't scream
Should I bother flirting or shall I just get out the Rohypnol now?
etc. They amused me A LOT but I'm sick.
David: Afternoon Bounciepoo
Me: Keep calling me that and I will mash you
David: I'd just enjoy that..
Me: Pervert
David: Shut up and get in the van
Me: You WISH you had a van
David: I don't NEED a van
Me: I really don't think throwing someone over the back of your bike is going to work....
David: I got a potato sack and a bloody big shopping basket. Shut up and get on the bike
Me: Dude. I really don't want to see you on CrimeWatch tomorrow - man on pushbike tries to kidnap woman...
David: True.. just invite me over then. Less paperwork.
Me: ROMANTIC
Jess: I have so laughed at David!!!! David who IS David, I love him already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I call him Dave. Suits him more. He hates it. He says it makes him sound like an idiot. I'm all *.....*
Jess: So is he Dave? or Roderick? I laughed out loud again and showed Ally your Dave conversation!!!
Me: Was really making me laugh too. Which is unfortunate in a public place... laughing at rape... ho hum.
Jess: Dave's come from Dagenham.........it's a given........me and Ally know this for fact...Dave is Dagenham Dave, a bit like comedy Deeve is from oop north.
Me: "All Daves are from Dagenham. FACT."
HAHA. He is Enfield Tahnnnnnnnn mate.
Also, he is really into Arnold Swartzenegger (whatever spellchecker). Like, really. Amusingly really. We went to Forbidden Planet on Friday (OH DEARSSS) and he casuallyyyyy leant on the counter and was all, er... mate... do you have any... er... TERMINATOR stuff? And the guy was all, dude, no. And Dave was all, lets leave now. But he said it to empty air because I was disassociating.
Jess: SRSLY.... I'm pissing myself!!!
Me: He is also amusingly ... slow? literal? Like, we were in Spitalfields and he picked up Jeff Buckleys album and I said, oh, does it have Alexandra Burke singing Hallelujah on it? And he was all ER NO DUH I DON'T THINK SO. And I'm all, shut up Dave
Jess: How did you meet Dave from Dagenham?
Me: Dave is more Matt's mate I think... well. We used to all work in the library together and his evening was with Matt (mine was with Fiontan) and if you weren't paired with someone on an evening you didn't really see them as most non-casual staff did Saturdays elsewhere.
ANYWAY. I used to chat to him a bit though. He fancied Sophie. He cracked Matt up.
I think he used to text Matt a bit but they never met up. Then I was online one day and David started chatting to me. Then I think he texted Matt and was all, I've broken up with my gf lets all go out drinking. And I chatted to him online more. We went out drinking.. and he's become a mate.
I was like, MATT. DAVE IS REALLY AMUSING. And Matt was all DUH! Don't you remember me telling you he read books on tanks at the counter?? And I was all NOW I UNDERSTAND. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Jess: SRSLY...I LOVE HIM and I don't know him.....
Me: Some people are so amusing. He walks like Terminator too. As in, straight across a road. I'm all *cover eyes.*
And when we got off at my station (he came back to mine for a cuppa) and he marched off. I was all WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO MINE BEFORE. COME BACK. Like, he was HERDING ME the wrong way.
Then, we sat in the lounge drinking tea. And he was all, what a nice view. I'm really digging this room. Loving the pictures, the sofas are cool, all those c.d's are amazing.. BUT. What SKIP did you drag that tv out of??
OH AND. TALKINGGGG OF HERDING:
When me Sophie and Sadie went to Brent Cross, Sophie and Sadie kept wandering in the wrong direction. Sophie had a go at me because she was all GOD IT IS LIKE A ROUTE MARCH just because I was like LEFT. But if I hadn't of said it, those 2 have ended up in Early Learning.
ANYWAY. We were on the A10 shopping thing and whilst Matt was in JJB's we headed to Homebase. A straight line of shops. Homebase big and green at the end.... so why Sophie and Lulu headed into Comet I DON'T KNOW.
And Lulu was all, gosh, we would have worked it out eventually.
And I'm all EVENTUALLY??? Why do you need time to work out that this shop is BLATANTLY not HOMEBASE???
Jess: SNIGGER!!! man I'm srsly loving this dude!!
And, Dude I'm so with you on the wandering malarkey, Sadie does it ALL the time.... but she lives in her own little world, like Sophie, so we're used to it!!! Funny tho...... Sophie, Lulu and Sadie are a disaster waiting to happen......oh no, hang on too fu**ing late!!!
Am still laughing out loud at Dave leaning on the counter and going, mate, have you any terminator stuff.. classic!!!
Me: If Sophie starts driving. And we go somewhere. And she drives. I'm going to be scared to fall asleep incase we end up in Scotland.
How's Ally's driving??!! Booked any road trips???
Him leaning on the counter and trying to be nonchalant about it all .. HAHAHAHAHA.
Jess: She hasn't actually driven yet but that is because her car has been out of action.... hey dude she's drving us to Grandmas on April 26th! But she's gonna have to drink to put up with mad June and ken, and of course you, and mark, and lulu, and Lucy... Also, Ro, I can't get past the counter thing...I'm still enjoying and laughing...just shared with Ally.
Me: HAHA! I hid behind some Twilight merchandise.
She's going to drive down? Ar that's wicked! Good to see her! Why is her car out of action? Did she run someone over? She really shouldn't. That dents up cars more than you'd think.
I'm loving my gma and pa so no rudeness about them! Fingers crossed that I have a job by then.
Jess: FUNNY!!! Her car is just not recognising the key entry code.... what thef**kever! She wants to run someone over badly tho....(secretly, she says, that's why she hasn't got in the car yet).
Me: Key entry code? Goodness. Fancy. When my car won't let me in (e.g. I've locked the keys inside) I just pull down the corner of the door.
Running people over is tempting but damaging to a small vehicle like mine. Also, I don't want to drive around with a gaffer taped up bonnet again.
Jess: Oh man funny!!!
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
bzzzzzzz
I washed my car on Sunday. I flung a bucket of water over it and a lot went over my head. BUT. That is not the point! Eyes on the story! I said to mum, whilst I was living at home: "Mum. My car smells like an ash tray. What's the dealio with that?"
And SHE said: "Don't be silly"
Anyways. I found 3! 3 - count em - cigarette butts under the seats.
WHAT THE JIGGINS!!!!
ALSO. I believe their are BEES in the fan in my room. BEES!!!!
ALSO. There is a man from the crazeeee house who wakes me up at the weekend yelling for Alan.
ALANNNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNN . . . .
ALANNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Lend us some money ALANNNNNNNNNNNN (no)
Sophie says I am sleepwalking but I'm not. Goddammit Alan answer him.
And SHE said: "Don't be silly"
Anyways. I found 3! 3 - count em - cigarette butts under the seats.
WHAT THE JIGGINS!!!!
ALSO. I believe their are BEES in the fan in my room. BEES!!!!
ALSO. There is a man from the crazeeee house who wakes me up at the weekend yelling for Alan.
ALANNNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNN . . . .
ALANNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Lend us some money ALANNNNNNNNNNNN (no)
Sophie says I am sleepwalking but I'm not. Goddammit Alan answer him.
Monday, 23 March 2009
spring shambles
Friday:
My mate David asked me if I wanted to go to Spitalfields with him. I was all.. yeah. Guess so. Had a lovely day wandering in the sunshine. The only thing I have against David.. actually, against is the wrong word, especially since it is kinda amusing.. is that he takes some things really literally... We were looking at all the CD's available and he picked up a Jeff Buckley one. I was all, do you reckon it'll have Alexandra singing Hallelujah on it? (Blatantly I am aware Jeff died years ago and Alex won X Factor and realised her version about a month ago). And David is all, yeah righttttt I don't thinkkkkkk sooooo. *looks at me like I'm an idiot* As I said: Dave, swear to God, it is lucky you are cute.
Saturday:
Such beautiful weather lately that we went for a walk to soak up as much sun as we could. Went to our local park. Back fields empty of people. Sat in the sun eating our sandwiches. Walk to the main part of the park, near to the carpark. SWARMS of people. Half of London. Bizarre that they choose to be in such close proximity to each other when the majority must spend their days crammed like sardines on buses and trains. Daffodils out in force. Found my camera (YES!). Sophie took some lovely arty shots. Asked Matt to go pose in them. Matt stands in them like a dork. Ask him to hide his coke bottle. FLINGS it. Unexpected.
Came home and had a nap. Reapplied makeup as thought David was coming over. Scarf down some pasta with Sophs. David cancels. Watch shit tv instead. Very enjoyable.
Sunday:
Waiting outside some sports EMPORIUM for Matt to choose a pair of football boots:
Lulu: Can I have a pound please? I want to buy a 99.
Me: Yeah.. are 99's a pound then?
Lulu: Don't be a dickhead *walks off to ice cream van*
Me: *to Sophie* I just didn't think they'd only be 99p is all
Sophie: She'll be back in a minute...
Lulu: *Not at all embarrassed* Can I have another pound please?
Me: HAHA
Ambulance man nearby: Haha!
Sophie: Ro, you should go after him. Fit AND useful
Then we got bored waiting for Matt so we went to Homebase to get some ant killer (I know, all laughs round ours). And I stupidly asked the inbred INBRED INBREDIST person in the whole world to point us in the direction of the poison. He took us to the correct aisle. THEN I stupidly asked if ant killer was harmful to cats. (Although would take a JUGGERNAUT to harm Clyde). And he was all, I'll get on the phone to pest control. AND he asked his colleague to help him. His colleague who was definitely DEFINITELY his inbred brother. ANYWAYS half an hour later... they shambled over and one guy was like, no no no no no it's not harm harm harmful to CATS but don't don't don't put it put it it it
Me: All over the cat?
Him: NO! No no no don't do that...
Sophie and Lulu: *Turning their backs to us*
Then Matt finally picked a pair of trainers...
Me: Oh THANK GOD.... do you want a burger?
Matt: I'd LOVE a BURGER
Sophie: HAHA did you think he'd be all, no..
Me: No. I mean, who WOULDN'T want a dirty burger out of a van in a carpark next to a motorway.
Then Matt was a bit worried the guy wouldn't offer him onions but he did. Which was a relief.
Sophie cooked a deeeee licious beef and ale pie for dinner and we watched ER whilst Matt did his homework. ER is proper depressing man. Killing people off in the first 5 minutes.. jeez. We also watched Come Dine With Me because we are into shit tv. WHERE do they get such mentals from? Amusing.
My mate David asked me if I wanted to go to Spitalfields with him. I was all.. yeah. Guess so. Had a lovely day wandering in the sunshine. The only thing I have against David.. actually, against is the wrong word, especially since it is kinda amusing.. is that he takes some things really literally... We were looking at all the CD's available and he picked up a Jeff Buckley one. I was all, do you reckon it'll have Alexandra singing Hallelujah on it? (Blatantly I am aware Jeff died years ago and Alex won X Factor and realised her version about a month ago). And David is all, yeah righttttt I don't thinkkkkkk sooooo. *looks at me like I'm an idiot* As I said: Dave, swear to God, it is lucky you are cute.
Saturday:
Such beautiful weather lately that we went for a walk to soak up as much sun as we could. Went to our local park. Back fields empty of people. Sat in the sun eating our sandwiches. Walk to the main part of the park, near to the carpark. SWARMS of people. Half of London. Bizarre that they choose to be in such close proximity to each other when the majority must spend their days crammed like sardines on buses and trains. Daffodils out in force. Found my camera (YES!). Sophie took some lovely arty shots. Asked Matt to go pose in them. Matt stands in them like a dork. Ask him to hide his coke bottle. FLINGS it. Unexpected.
Came home and had a nap. Reapplied makeup as thought David was coming over. Scarf down some pasta with Sophs. David cancels. Watch shit tv instead. Very enjoyable.
Sunday:
Waiting outside some sports EMPORIUM for Matt to choose a pair of football boots:
Lulu: Can I have a pound please? I want to buy a 99.
Me: Yeah.. are 99's a pound then?
Lulu: Don't be a dickhead *walks off to ice cream van*
Me: *to Sophie* I just didn't think they'd only be 99p is all
Sophie: She'll be back in a minute...
Lulu: *Not at all embarrassed* Can I have another pound please?
Me: HAHA
Ambulance man nearby: Haha!
Sophie: Ro, you should go after him. Fit AND useful
Then we got bored waiting for Matt so we went to Homebase to get some ant killer (I know, all laughs round ours). And I stupidly asked the inbred INBRED INBREDIST person in the whole world to point us in the direction of the poison. He took us to the correct aisle. THEN I stupidly asked if ant killer was harmful to cats. (Although would take a JUGGERNAUT to harm Clyde). And he was all, I'll get on the phone to pest control. AND he asked his colleague to help him. His colleague who was definitely DEFINITELY his inbred brother. ANYWAYS half an hour later... they shambled over and one guy was like, no no no no no it's not harm harm harmful to CATS but don't don't don't put it put it it it
Me: All over the cat?
Him: NO! No no no don't do that...
Sophie and Lulu: *Turning their backs to us*
Then Matt finally picked a pair of trainers...
Me: Oh THANK GOD.... do you want a burger?
Matt: I'd LOVE a BURGER
Sophie: HAHA did you think he'd be all, no..
Me: No. I mean, who WOULDN'T want a dirty burger out of a van in a carpark next to a motorway.
Then Matt was a bit worried the guy wouldn't offer him onions but he did. Which was a relief.
Sophie cooked a deeeee licious beef and ale pie for dinner and we watched ER whilst Matt did his homework. ER is proper depressing man. Killing people off in the first 5 minutes.. jeez. We also watched Come Dine With Me because we are into shit tv. WHERE do they get such mentals from? Amusing.
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Peter Pan
Ruth: On way to Slimming World. Feels like I'm off to be hanged as have been so bad over the weekend.
Me: Think happy thoughts then you'll become light enough to fly.
*Later*
Ruth: Happy thoughts didn't work for me... I became heavier!
Me: Well. Shit. It worked for Peter Pan.
Ruth: Peter was drinking Red Bull.
Me: Peter's a dick sometimes man.
Ruth: I know. Goes around feeding kids substances to make them think they can fly out of their window. Who does he think he is?
Me: I'm going to get onto child services.
Me: Think happy thoughts then you'll become light enough to fly.
*Later*
Ruth: Happy thoughts didn't work for me... I became heavier!
Me: Well. Shit. It worked for Peter Pan.
Ruth: Peter was drinking Red Bull.
Me: Peter's a dick sometimes man.
Ruth: I know. Goes around feeding kids substances to make them think they can fly out of their window. Who does he think he is?
Me: I'm going to get onto child services.
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
Steve leaves
Chris is leaving my old place of work. Since he has been known as Steve there for 3 years now, I assume it is to get his identity back.
Steve: Dear all,
Just a quick reminder about this Thursday. For those of you who were away last week, we postponed the dinner to Thursday 19th March, so hopefully everyone can now make it along.
The vague plan is to meet in a pub at 6pm, then I will book a table somewhere for 7pm. Please let me know whether this works with everyone. If so, I will send clearer plans on the day.
I have already got confirmation from Hollie, Martina, Sam, Florian, Charlotte and myself, so am still waiting for a final word from Mike, Shamima and Fanny.
Hopefully see you all on Thursday.
Regards,
CS
Me: RUDE. Don't I count?
Steve: Apologies Rosie! But to quote Jagdish, "you worthless monkey!"
Count yourself officially counted. See you on Thursday.
Sam: I guess we all took it for granted you would be there - like Chris. Else what's the point?
Me: Thanks Sam! I tell you, it is lucky I know such great people otherwise I might have chucked myself under the Piccadilly Line by now... actually, that is a lie. I find it really bugging when people do that.
Sam: Too true, please choose another line when the time comes. Look forward to seeing you. Sam
Steve: Dear all,
Just a quick reminder about this Thursday. For those of you who were away last week, we postponed the dinner to Thursday 19th March, so hopefully everyone can now make it along.
The vague plan is to meet in a pub at 6pm, then I will book a table somewhere for 7pm. Please let me know whether this works with everyone. If so, I will send clearer plans on the day.
I have already got confirmation from Hollie, Martina, Sam, Florian, Charlotte and myself, so am still waiting for a final word from Mike, Shamima and Fanny.
Hopefully see you all on Thursday.
Regards,
CS
Me: RUDE. Don't I count?
Steve: Apologies Rosie! But to quote Jagdish, "you worthless monkey!"
Count yourself officially counted. See you on Thursday.
Sam: I guess we all took it for granted you would be there - like Chris. Else what's the point?
Me: Thanks Sam! I tell you, it is lucky I know such great people otherwise I might have chucked myself under the Piccadilly Line by now... actually, that is a lie. I find it really bugging when people do that.
Sam: Too true, please choose another line when the time comes. Look forward to seeing you. Sam
Sunday, 15 March 2009
dreams
Me: Am applying to jobs like, PA to CEO of financial research company. Experience is like, able to write well, talk well, worked 1:1 before, worked in finance before. I'm all, YEP ALL OVER IT. THEN it's like, excellent powerpoint, word and excel skills. And I'm like... er.. go for it? Or forget? Because I can cobble together a powerpoint presentation (last attempted at uni) and can work on excel but am not sure am EXCELLENT at it. Thoughts?
Sadie: Go for it. You can always buy Powerpoint for home and brush up. Excel doesnt have that much in it to be skilled at.
Sophie: Go for it cos it takes about a minute to learn anyway. I lied and got lumbered with the whole excel thing and now sometimes when I have to write in English and I’ve spent the last 56465435465 hours in Excel I forget how to type normal words. I think they just say that b-locks in a app to cover their bases. You could be a parachuting medic and they’d put down ‘IT skills’ as something you should be good at.
Sadie: Laughing! Am going to check the very next parachuting medic cv I spot.
Me: Yeah. I've applied to them because am reasoning that I've got the other experience they are asking for and have the basics of excel and pp so can always get someone to show me if get job. Am trying to apply for nice sounding pa jobs, in media and whatnot. Why have i only got experience and am checking all the boxes for the financial pa roles?? HOW DID THIS ABOMINATION HAPPEN?
Sadie: I know! I wanted to be an archaeologist.
Sophie: I want to be a forensic scientist and I would have loved to be an archaeologist. And now I would quite like to be an ethnobotamist like the Grow Your Own Drugs dude.
Sadie: I spend my day talking in acronyms as in:
Is the feed into CRD direct from CTM? or is it CRD via ITR to CTM, and does CRD have a UAT environment because I have to report to the ITMT before I do a CC re the BONY change.
When my day is over, I often find myself thinking TTFON. Time To F* Off Now.
Sophie: Oh! We have that too. And sometimes I snigger because sometimes they are the same as real life things like BNP, SAS and sometimes they just are a bit wrong like FUC.
Me: I love those ones!! Mainly bcause Im all WHY HAS NOONE REALISED!!! Ironically, I HATE the one for the Harley Street breast clinic which is BAAPS. HATE.
Sadie: BAAPS was a huge mistake by someone.
We had FART (FMC Additional Reporting) and this was replaced by ARSE (Additional Reporting System Enterprise) Both names deliberately made up. Sadly, just before go-live they made us change ARSE to MARS.
Me: Just mean.
Sadie: Go for it. You can always buy Powerpoint for home and brush up. Excel doesnt have that much in it to be skilled at.
Sophie: Go for it cos it takes about a minute to learn anyway. I lied and got lumbered with the whole excel thing and now sometimes when I have to write in English and I’ve spent the last 56465435465 hours in Excel I forget how to type normal words. I think they just say that b-locks in a app to cover their bases. You could be a parachuting medic and they’d put down ‘IT skills’ as something you should be good at.
Sadie: Laughing! Am going to check the very next parachuting medic cv I spot.
Me: Yeah. I've applied to them because am reasoning that I've got the other experience they are asking for and have the basics of excel and pp so can always get someone to show me if get job. Am trying to apply for nice sounding pa jobs, in media and whatnot. Why have i only got experience and am checking all the boxes for the financial pa roles?? HOW DID THIS ABOMINATION HAPPEN?
Sadie: I know! I wanted to be an archaeologist.
Sophie: I want to be a forensic scientist and I would have loved to be an archaeologist. And now I would quite like to be an ethnobotamist like the Grow Your Own Drugs dude.
Sadie: I spend my day talking in acronyms as in:
Is the feed into CRD direct from CTM? or is it CRD via ITR to CTM, and does CRD have a UAT environment because I have to report to the ITMT before I do a CC re the BONY change.
When my day is over, I often find myself thinking TTFON. Time To F* Off Now.
Sophie: Oh! We have that too. And sometimes I snigger because sometimes they are the same as real life things like BNP, SAS and sometimes they just are a bit wrong like FUC.
Me: I love those ones!! Mainly bcause Im all WHY HAS NOONE REALISED!!! Ironically, I HATE the one for the Harley Street breast clinic which is BAAPS. HATE.
Sadie: BAAPS was a huge mistake by someone.
We had FART (FMC Additional Reporting) and this was replaced by ARSE (Additional Reporting System Enterprise) Both names deliberately made up. Sadly, just before go-live they made us change ARSE to MARS.
Me: Just mean.
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