Peter Pan

Ruth: On way to Slimming World. Feels like I'm off to be hanged as have been so bad over the weekend.

Me: Think happy thoughts then you'll become light enough to fly.

*Later*

Ruth: Happy thoughts didn't work for me... I became heavier!

Me: Well. Shit. It worked for Peter Pan.

Ruth: Peter was drinking Red Bull.

Me: Peter's a dick sometimes man.

Ruth: I know. Goes around feeding kids substances to make them think they can fly out of their window. Who does he think he is?

Me: I'm going to get onto child services.