mental

David: Alright. I've decided I should probably actually do some decent work. At least for a few days

Rosie: Why are you talking to me then?

David: Well, I can talk to you a bit

Rosie: I just got accused by the doorman/security guy of making up an encounter with some sales guy. It was like being in the twilight zone. Like one of those people that get sectioned when they aren't mental

David: What sort of an encounter?

Rosie: Some sales guy came and chatted to me and told me his company were renting one of the free offices here. Turns out, he was lying. I mentioned it to the doorman and he was all, noones renting the upstairs . . and I never saw this guy . .

David: ok...

Rosie: No one saw him come in so I've been accused of lying. And making the whole thing up. Because apparently I'm mental

David: Haha, tricky situation.. can you prove to him that you're not a delusional mentalist? Probably not

Rosie: DAVID! Apparently saying WHY WOULD I MAKE THIS UP doesn't convince them

David: That is pretty funny

Rosie: OMG

David: That's exactly what a mentalist would say though...

Rosie: I will prob think this is funny by our drinks on Thursday but now? DAVID I AM COMING TO MASH YOU

David: Haha I'd like to see you mash me

Rosie: I'd give it a go. I'm a little on edge now what with - Alan: Rosie, how do you keep such a straight face when you are lying?

David: Did he say that with a totally straight face?

Rosie: Yes ... Why? You think he is winding me up? Because he isn't. I had to walk round the building looking for this guy. And check the CCTV. But they would only let me check half hour. We didn't see the guy so he still thinks I have made it up

David: Oooh see that s just gonna make you look more mental

Rosie: DAVID

David: Looking at CCTV for a guy who isn't there . .

Rosie: OMG

David: .. maybe you should take some time off

Rosie: Am not speaking to you anymore. Am on way. Prepare for a beatdown

David: Bring it

Rosie: I am. Have packed those old phones I was telling you about. All 43 of them. Am going to start by individually throwing each one at your head

David: And you think I'm going to sit there and let you throw all 43 phones at my head? Maybe the first 2 might catch me off guard but then I'd be all over you like a powerful moss

Rosie: They will probably daze you. They are from the 80s. I'd only need one good hit

David: Yeah true could be fatal. They probably weigh about 100k

Rosie: Just slightly smaller than a phone box. And my rage will be carrying them. Actually, "powerful moss" has just cracked me up so I forgive you and have put them away.

David: Nothing quite as hot as an angry woman with huge phones coming at you.

David: Oh ok well thats good

Rosie: YOU ARE SO LUCKY.

Rosie: HAHA. It won't be hot once they start ricocheting off your bonce

David: I dunno..what will you be wearing?

Rosie: Currently, I am all in black. Like a ninja. You won't even see me coming

David: Damn you have got it all planned out. I'm a dead man

Rosie: Nah. I told you. You said powerful moss and I liked you again

David: I'll remember that. Next time Rosie wants to beat you to death, just say something slightly ridiculous and she'll probably calm down

Rosie: I'm easy like that. Am going to make a cup of tea. BRB.

David: Cool

Rosie: Made a tea

David: Quick work

Rosie: I am a tea drinker expert

David: Yeah I'm quite addicted. I'll drink any tea too. Earl Grey, peppermint, Echinachia, Rasberry . . . I'm hardcore

Rosie: Peppermint. For when Earl Grey isn't gay enough

David: What you trying to say?

Rosie: That when peppermint isn't gay enough, you just get some guy to dip his balls in the hot water

David: But always use a tea strainer. Don't want to have to pull anything out of your teeth

Rosie: Thee ol' classy ball hair remover maneuver

David: Yup. I know all the tricks of the genitalia based hot beverage trade

Rosie: Skillz

David: I dont like where this conversation has gone...

Rosie: Our conversations always end up with you coming out

David: You must just have that fag hag vibe about you

Rosie: That still makes you gay

David: And what?

Rosie: And nothing. Elton

David: Haha nice. Liza

Rosie: Ah touchè