dangerous content

Jess: How's Mont?

Me: Monty is fiiine. I walked him yesterday morning and Toby walked him in the afternoon and then he was kept up until the wee hours because Toby had some friends over. I took him out this morning for a walk and he was all, seriously? Can we leave it for a couple of hours? Hm?
Also, he is just like Clyde. I have 2 pairs of pumps at mums, some sandals, a pair of heels and trainers. I lined them all up and that is where he chose to sleep last night. Not on his bed but all over my shoes. Idiot dog.

Jess: I'm glad Monty is happy, he doesn't like too much exercise, but then who does at that time! You're a good girl looking after his interests! Love him sleeping on your shoes! I bet you miss your Clydeeee, I bet Monty likes you there... I'd like some Shepherds pie and beans now.

Me:Toby had his mates over last night and I was wandering around wearing Dads pajama top and Tobys boxers. No shame.

Sadie: JEEEEEEEZ to the boxers!

Me: Yeah. And they are full of holes. I showed Lulu and she gagged. And then Dad was all, hey, those used to be mine and then Lulu died.

Jess: Hussy......
It's really quiet here...so boring...... Alas we have to sit here looking like special bus travelers.
That boy EVER gonna get a job? That's one lazy boy dude! Hope he cooks you a nice tea tonight, have you put in your order? Steak and onions and chips? He quite a good cook isn't he?

Me: That is a good idea. Spookily he just texted me but only to ask if I had fed Monty this morning. I had not, FYI, because I felt it was too early.
OMG I TELL YOU SOMETHINGGG. I am LOVING being here whilst Lulu isn't. OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! I totally raided her jewellery and makeup last night. Sparkly green eyeliner? Tried that out. All her hair accessories. I am wearing a funky gold hairband. A thin metal one. It is giving me an ache behind the ears but looks cute. . . I'm gonna take a picture and email it to you...

Me: Well!!! I know I ain't wearing makeup in those photos but there is no need for your clinic to return my email and get all up in my ass about sending 'dangerous content.'