fatty

Man do you feel it when he jumps off the window ledge onto your stomach in the middle of the night


Me: Matt! Take a picture of me and Clyde! I look just like Sarah Jessica Parker sitting here typing away on the laptop with the cat sleeping next to me.

Matt: SJP doesn't have a cat. And, I know this may sound like a weird compliment but, you don't have a horse face.

Me: But other than that, IDENTICAL right?


Budget living . . .

Me: Brand Tumeric = £1.18. Tesco version = 68p. HA

Sophie: You go there

Me: I am


Me: Can you hear Clyde squeaking?

Me: Can you hear him squeaking now?

Me: Listen... Clyde makes this funny squeaking sound when he is asleep and you wake him up . . .

Sophie and Matt: Can't hear anything . . .

Sophie: *sitting on the sofa - accidentally sitting on Clyde*

Clyde: SQUEEAK!


Overheard: "I'm not gay! I'm FLAMBOYANT!"


Overheard, some hippy talking to another: "I'm thinking of changing my first name to rain and my second to bow, what do you think?"

Lulu and me: snort

Lulu: I am going to change my name to buttock.

Me: HAHA. Yeh. Funny. People would be all, what's up butty?

Lulu: And I'd be all, it's BUTTOCK

Me: It's pronounced boo-tock ACTUALLY

Lulu: HAHA, yeh. It's FRENCH. You're pronouncing it wrong. Jeez.

Me: Whatever BUTTOCK.