its like this

This website - Jamphat - explains rap in graphical terms. My favourites were: the one showing which day we were going to drink Bacardi (Shortys Birthday), Things that you can touch and things you cannot (this), Which individuals in a trailer park go round the outside (girls) and how many boys were bought to the yard by whose milkshake.

Other things I like:

Dad: Lucy! Your plant in the lounge has sprouted fruit!!
Mum: Really? Wow! Fruit?
Dad: Yeh, these red berry things!
Mum: I’ll come have a look!

*2 minutes later*

Mum: Hahahah Rosie, he thought the red plastic Christmas berries I’d put on were real! I was all, yeah and that’s a real fairy! And check it out; it’s sprouted a gold star! Ha ha, Mark! Mark! Lets call Gardeners World magazine!! I think we have an exclusive for them!

*2 minutes later*

Me: Look! Dad! That plant has sprouted a cup of tea for you!! Whoa….

homework

I just got asked to do a 5-year-olds homework because I’m ‘good at things like that.’ I would hope any adult is up to this standard frankly. The homework just got completed by 2 heads of departments:

IT Head: Do you think that it looks ok?
Me: I think that it looks very professional...you know, like how if 2 heads of departments completed it!!!


Some Seinfeld quotes I like:

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.