batchap and time man

Hola!
Haven't updated this for a long long while and that is because had some stressful times lately. However, when I learnt of the stressful times, my aunt took me and my sister out for margaritas and wine and the rest of my family did similar and the stress reduced when I realised what a great family I had and that not only do these things happen but that my family will always be there. And that is pretty great.

Things that have happened (I will add pictures when my phone stops being silly and lets me send them to the computer)
Firstly, and most importantly, Sophie passed her driving test. I may be exaggerating a little but after 5 years and a billion lessons and whatnot, it has come as something of a relief. I baked her a banana cake in celebration.

Today I went for a walk with my padders and a small child he looks after in his childminder capacity. He was booted out the house by my mother with Brandon and the 2 dogs and told they could not come back for at least 2 hours. This is because she had a new baby coming to visit her and Brandon causes a touch of mayhem.
Me and B and dad had a really good walk. If you ask B what happened on the walk he will say: MARK FELL IN THE RIVER! And he will keep saying it until my dad starts looking slightly cross and say: I am going to put YOU in the river in a minute.

Even though I haven't written in this for ages, I can't actually think of anything else to say. Except that, until about last year, I never saw the bat in the Batman logo. This seems to be UNBELIEVABLE to the people I told who don't seem to understand that I never really analysed the logo or cared or whatnot. I just used to see the yellow tonsil shapes. I also never realised that the Victorian Era was so called because it covered the reign of Victoria. Same with Edwardian etc. I KNOW that I must have been told this at school or WHATEVER but until I was helping my little sister with her homework it wasn't really something I thought about. Made a lot of sense when I read it though. Same when I saw the Bat logo. Like, ohhhh. Cool. Clever.

ANYWAYZ.

trouserless

Things that you say at 5am:


Woken up by Clyde leaping onto dresser:
Mmmmmmok well, you can play with my makeup but try not to tangle my necklaces

Clyde drinking out your water glass:
Try not to spill that on my phone

Clyde snuggling/sticking his head in your face:
Cute. Lets do this another time though cos this is too early. K?

Clyde biting your hands:
ow. this really hurts. please stop

Clyde scratching the fake wood:
Dude, that's not realllll. Go do it somewhere else.

Things that you say at 7.30am:


Clyde leaping onto the dresser:
OMG GET DOWN YOU IDIOT WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION!!?????

Clyde drinking out your water glass:
DUDE!!! OMG!!!! I DRINK THAT!!! HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING IT TOO???? GROSS!!!

Clyde snuggling/sticking his head in your face:
This doesn't happen when it's a convenient time. E.g. Not fuck o'clock

Clyde biting your hands:
OW THAT HURTS JESUS CHRIST CAT

Clyde scratching the fake wood:
No, srsly, that ain't real wood. Stop it before it looks worse than it does... are you even listening to me?

Jess: Oh god I love this email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeping it!

Sadie: Laughing big time! I'm beginning to be grateful I dont have a cat!

Sophie: Last night -
*THUMPPPPPPPP CRASH*
Matt: Erm… Clyde?
Matt: Clyde!
Matt: CLYDE!
Clyde: …. *looking*
Matt: Clyde, are Clyde’s allowed up there?
Clyde: *Looking*
Clyde: *Still just generally looking*
Matt: It’s ok buddy I’ll get you down
Matt: (Whispering) It’s ok, I won’t tell Sophie what your arse has just done to her glasses
Me: OH MY GOD YOU FAT EFFING CAT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY YOU AREN’T ALLOWED UP THERE YOU GINORMOUS BL**DY LUMP
Matt: Poor Clyde, I think you have upset him
Clyde *Still just looking*
Me: POOR CLYDE?! RANTRANTRANT

Jess: Srsly fu88ing funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Love it!!!


Me: You know, it's funny when it happens to you. And your stuff.

Jess: Snigger

Me: When I got home last night, Sophie and Matt were lounging on their bed. I went in and had a chat. Went out and bumped into Clyde outside. Picked him up and went back in their room and was all: Look Clyde, all your family together! I put him on the bed. He LEAPED off and shot out the door. Matt: "Well. Huh. That was pretty insulting."

Sophie: Yes, this was 10 mins after the whole sitting on my glasses situation. He had just endured a bit of an earful.
I had a big fat headache last night and came home after an hour and a half driving lesson. Was going to put some washing on and think about dinner but I just took my trousers off and went to bed. Then Clyde came in and sat on me. That Matt came home and was like, what is going on? And then he sat on the bed watching telly. Then Rosie came home and was all, what is going on? And I just wanted to be in bed trouserless and in peace and dark.

Me: *All in bedroom*
Sophie: I would just like you both to know that I'm trouserless.
Me: Eh, you're always naked
Matt: *doesn't even acknowledge*

Jess: Oh laughing still!!

Sadie: FD! All your nightly conversations just excellent!

Matts baby

Comments on my Facebook 'Clyde' albums' newest photo addition:



Lisa: As soon as I saw this album had been updated I got all excited that it'd be Clyde in the snow!!!!! He's giving you the evil eye though... I bet you ran away sharpish when he was let loose after having his picture taken!!!!

Me: HAHA!! Lisa, it was far too blimmin cold for me to go and lark about in the snow taking pictures. I don't think Clyde was even out there for too long, he likes visiting the crazy house next door. He was soaking the whole house though every time he dashed in and out.

Annette: I don't think the weight control biscuits are working.

Lisa: You haven't put poor Clyde on a diet?????

Me: HAHA! Matt bought ONE box of weight control biscuits to 2 normal. PLUS, moments after this photo, Matt fed Clyde an extra meal because he 'felt sorry for him getting wet playing in the snow.' He should be careful, Clyde probably weighs about the same as him. "Poor Clyde." MOST amusing

Sophie: Look how big his foot is. Not to mention his evil eyes.

Annette: Don't say such horrible things about my baby boy!

Matt: Harsh!

Sophie: Just now...
*THUMP CRASH*
Matt: Clyde
Matt: CLYDE!
Clyde: ....
Matt: Clyde, are Clyde's allowed up there? Get Down
Clyde: ....
Matt: It's ok, I'll gently lift you down.
Clyde:...

butts

I went to uni with this guy. He is still at uni now because, for some reason, he decided to do a Masters. At uni I thought he was a bit of a jerk. Like, taking the piss out of people for laughs. It all stopped when I yelled at him. But he started talking to me online, apologised for not realising he was a big jerk and is now... kinda funny. The butt thing is because one of his jokes was to tell everyone I loved butt sex. Just out of the blue. Said that. He is pretty lucky I just yelled at him, come to think of it.

Sonny: What's up bum girl?

Rosie: You are.

Sonny: : )

Rosie: My butt looked great on Tuesday. For reals. OH! Did you get a snow day!!??? ME TOO!!

Sonny: I've been off uni all week. Lectures today though. What did you get up to on Tuesday?

Rosie: Because of the snow? Cool. Tuesday?? Work. Had to trek in. Left early though because am scared of breaking a hip on the black ice

Sonny: Your bum looked good at work?

Rosie: What?? Oh. Are we back to my butt? Gosh. That is all you talk about. It's sad really

Sonny: 2 things on my mind...

Rosie: Left cheek. And right.

Sonny: LOL! Liverpool and sex : )

Rosie: Sad. To the Liverpool part. I had to listen to the live transfer coverage on Monday

Sonny: You don't deny the sex part then!

Rosie: uu - That was supposed to be a butt smiley. I guess I'm not down with the kids enough to know how to do that.

Sonny: Lol

Rosie: EXCEPT I saw some Obama footage and this interviewer was asking him about his fist bumping. Except she called it FISTING. Obama. Fists :O

Sonny: Lol

Rosie: YES WE DID

Sonny: You're nuts

Rosie: What? Why? Because I'm topical?

Sonny: Just how you put things. Neway mate. I gotta get ready to go uni

Rosie: Student bum

Sonny: I'm not a typical student bum

Rosie: Stop talking about bums. Pervert

Sonny: YOU STARTED IT

Rosie: Definitely did not.

Sonny: Okkkkk.

Prehistoric Matt

Friday
Met Sophie and Matt in Asda for a Big Shop. I think it helps living with people and budgeting with people who are Amusing. For e.g. Asda was packed and the aisles were crammed with people and trollies. It was easier to leave your trolly at the end of the aisle and grab what you wanted. Then go hunt down Matt and his bobbly head as he wanders off with the trolly you thought you'd left next to the toilet rolls. We had McDonalds for dinner. Bloody delicious.

Saturday
Went shopping with Sophie for Matts birthday present and other peoples and bla bla. We'd made a list of everything we needed and yet still ended up wandering round and round, going into the same shops numerous times.
That evening, ma and pa and Lol came over for Matt's birthday and give him the Wii Guitar World Band Tour thingy game we'd all chipped in for. Carrying that thing round Enfield was awkward in the extreme.
I think he liked it though. Plus Sophie has got really good at making chicken Korma. It was absolutely delicious. And so were the homemade onion bhajis.
Mum made a birthday cake and bought 24 candles. It took us at LEAST 5 minutes to light them all. Then Matt blew them out and someone made me relight them all so that they could take a photo.

Sunday
Matt and Sophie went to the cinema and out for dinner for Matt's birthday. I was told I was allowed an orgy of up to 6 men OR as many dwarves/midgets as I liked. Instead I was visited by almost the OPPOSITE of a midget orgy as Ruth and her FIANCE came over to show me her engagement ring and her new car. So happy for her/them. Apparently Ruth's dad (my Uncle Buck) told Andy he had had a fight with the ugly stick. Twice. And lost. Welcome to the family.
Later that evening, I heard Sophie and Matt coming down the drive. I went to open the door. And waited with the door open for about 10 minutes. I was like, what is holding them up???!!!! Writing 'boobs' on my car in the snow.

Monday
Woke up to snow. A whole lot of snow. Buses were cancelled. Sophie and Matt rejoiced. No news on my tube line. Put on my wellies, packed my lunch and went out. As I walked along, snow soaking me, no difference between road and pavement, falling into snow drifts... etc etc... I thought, this is RIDICULOUS. When I got to the station, it was closed. YES!!!!!!!!! SNOW! DAY! It was quite eerie actually as there was almost no traffic and it was totally silent. I trudged back home and had a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich with Sophie and Matt. Then we all rocked out on Matt's World Tour drums and guitar. Great fun. Then we had birthday cake. Then we had a nap. Pasta. More birthday cake.... It was a GREAT day.