Me: Guess what happened in Asda last night!!!! The checkout lady thought I was Sophie's MOTHER!!!!! Not happy. At all. And she's now dead. I had to mash her for that one.
Sadie: i'M LAUGHING SO HARD THAT I cant type properly! Seriously dude, the woman must be a bit simple though!
Jess: OH DUDE....that is SO not funny!!!!!!!!! Why then, am I peeing myself?
Sophie: Checkout lady scanning wine: eh, you aren’t paying though? your… mum is? Me: haha, yes, I am paying. That’s my little sister.
Jess: FUNNY!!!!
Me: UN BE LIEV ABLE.
It was.
UNBELIEVABLE
Jess: Laughing!!!! Funny dude!!!
Sadie: Still laughing.
Jess: Me too
Sophie: Then I got out my driving licence which was PINK woo hoo!!! Then I wound Rosie up all evening. I couldn’t possibly put the shopping away, I’ll leave mum and dad to it etc
Me: Luckily I am a firm believer in beating ones kids.
Friday 27 March 2009
Thursday 26 March 2009
alternatives
Me: My tomatoes are delicious.
Jess: EH? I had sushi for lunch.
Me: I had a chicken bagel and some veges Sophie cut up. I pretended they were cake. Mmm mmm mmm mmm MMM.
Jess: Hmm mmm m mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm yummy...... Cake is bad. Veggies are good...I feel I should be finishing that sentence off with a gangster rap lyric thingy.... something in da hood!
Me: Cake is bad
Veggies are good
Don't hit the spot like cake could
Tho
Jess: Well up to the 'tho' I was wondering if I was emailing notorius B.I.G.
Me: You are emailing notorious B.I.G... is why I am eating veggies innit.
Jess: Ffddd!
Sophie: That is well gangsta… trippin
Me: I know. Think I have found an alternative career. GANGSTA aiiiiiight
Jess: EH? I had sushi for lunch.
Me: I had a chicken bagel and some veges Sophie cut up. I pretended they were cake. Mmm mmm mmm mmm MMM.
Jess: Hmm mmm m mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm yummy...... Cake is bad. Veggies are good...I feel I should be finishing that sentence off with a gangster rap lyric thingy.... something in da hood!
Me: Cake is bad
Veggies are good
Don't hit the spot like cake could
Tho
Jess: Well up to the 'tho' I was wondering if I was emailing notorius B.I.G.
Me: You are emailing notorious B.I.G... is why I am eating veggies innit.
Jess: Ffddd!
Sophie: That is well gangsta… trippin
Me: I know. Think I have found an alternative career. GANGSTA aiiiiiight
Wednesday 25 March 2009
romancinnnnn
Backstory: David is back in the dating game. Him trying out some chat up lines:
Get in the van
Don't scream
Should I bother flirting or shall I just get out the Rohypnol now?
etc. They amused me A LOT but I'm sick.
David: Afternoon Bounciepoo
Me: Keep calling me that and I will mash you
David: I'd just enjoy that..
Me: Pervert
David: Shut up and get in the van
Me: You WISH you had a van
David: I don't NEED a van
Me: I really don't think throwing someone over the back of your bike is going to work....
David: I got a potato sack and a bloody big shopping basket. Shut up and get on the bike
Me: Dude. I really don't want to see you on CrimeWatch tomorrow - man on pushbike tries to kidnap woman...
David: True.. just invite me over then. Less paperwork.
Me: ROMANTIC
Jess: I have so laughed at David!!!! David who IS David, I love him already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I call him Dave. Suits him more. He hates it. He says it makes him sound like an idiot. I'm all *.....*
Jess: So is he Dave? or Roderick? I laughed out loud again and showed Ally your Dave conversation!!!
Me: Was really making me laugh too. Which is unfortunate in a public place... laughing at rape... ho hum.
Jess: Dave's come from Dagenham.........it's a given........me and Ally know this for fact...Dave is Dagenham Dave, a bit like comedy Deeve is from oop north.
Me: "All Daves are from Dagenham. FACT."
HAHA. He is Enfield Tahnnnnnnnn mate.
Also, he is really into Arnold Swartzenegger (whatever spellchecker). Like, really. Amusingly really. We went to Forbidden Planet on Friday (OH DEARSSS) and he casuallyyyyy leant on the counter and was all, er... mate... do you have any... er... TERMINATOR stuff? And the guy was all, dude, no. And Dave was all, lets leave now. But he said it to empty air because I was disassociating.
Jess: SRSLY.... I'm pissing myself!!!
Me: He is also amusingly ... slow? literal? Like, we were in Spitalfields and he picked up Jeff Buckleys album and I said, oh, does it have Alexandra Burke singing Hallelujah on it? And he was all ER NO DUH I DON'T THINK SO. And I'm all, shut up Dave
Jess: How did you meet Dave from Dagenham?
Me: Dave is more Matt's mate I think... well. We used to all work in the library together and his evening was with Matt (mine was with Fiontan) and if you weren't paired with someone on an evening you didn't really see them as most non-casual staff did Saturdays elsewhere.
ANYWAY. I used to chat to him a bit though. He fancied Sophie. He cracked Matt up.
I think he used to text Matt a bit but they never met up. Then I was online one day and David started chatting to me. Then I think he texted Matt and was all, I've broken up with my gf lets all go out drinking. And I chatted to him online more. We went out drinking.. and he's become a mate.
I was like, MATT. DAVE IS REALLY AMUSING. And Matt was all DUH! Don't you remember me telling you he read books on tanks at the counter?? And I was all NOW I UNDERSTAND. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Jess: SRSLY...I LOVE HIM and I don't know him.....
Me: Some people are so amusing. He walks like Terminator too. As in, straight across a road. I'm all *cover eyes.*
And when we got off at my station (he came back to mine for a cuppa) and he marched off. I was all WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO MINE BEFORE. COME BACK. Like, he was HERDING ME the wrong way.
Then, we sat in the lounge drinking tea. And he was all, what a nice view. I'm really digging this room. Loving the pictures, the sofas are cool, all those c.d's are amazing.. BUT. What SKIP did you drag that tv out of??
OH AND. TALKINGGGG OF HERDING:
When me Sophie and Sadie went to Brent Cross, Sophie and Sadie kept wandering in the wrong direction. Sophie had a go at me because she was all GOD IT IS LIKE A ROUTE MARCH just because I was like LEFT. But if I hadn't of said it, those 2 have ended up in Early Learning.
ANYWAY. We were on the A10 shopping thing and whilst Matt was in JJB's we headed to Homebase. A straight line of shops. Homebase big and green at the end.... so why Sophie and Lulu headed into Comet I DON'T KNOW.
And Lulu was all, gosh, we would have worked it out eventually.
And I'm all EVENTUALLY??? Why do you need time to work out that this shop is BLATANTLY not HOMEBASE???
Jess: SNIGGER!!! man I'm srsly loving this dude!!
And, Dude I'm so with you on the wandering malarkey, Sadie does it ALL the time.... but she lives in her own little world, like Sophie, so we're used to it!!! Funny tho...... Sophie, Lulu and Sadie are a disaster waiting to happen......oh no, hang on too fu**ing late!!!
Am still laughing out loud at Dave leaning on the counter and going, mate, have you any terminator stuff.. classic!!!
Me: If Sophie starts driving. And we go somewhere. And she drives. I'm going to be scared to fall asleep incase we end up in Scotland.
How's Ally's driving??!! Booked any road trips???
Him leaning on the counter and trying to be nonchalant about it all .. HAHAHAHAHA.
Jess: She hasn't actually driven yet but that is because her car has been out of action.... hey dude she's drving us to Grandmas on April 26th! But she's gonna have to drink to put up with mad June and ken, and of course you, and mark, and lulu, and Lucy... Also, Ro, I can't get past the counter thing...I'm still enjoying and laughing...just shared with Ally.
Me: HAHA! I hid behind some Twilight merchandise.
She's going to drive down? Ar that's wicked! Good to see her! Why is her car out of action? Did she run someone over? She really shouldn't. That dents up cars more than you'd think.
I'm loving my gma and pa so no rudeness about them! Fingers crossed that I have a job by then.
Jess: FUNNY!!! Her car is just not recognising the key entry code.... what thef**kever! She wants to run someone over badly tho....(secretly, she says, that's why she hasn't got in the car yet).
Me: Key entry code? Goodness. Fancy. When my car won't let me in (e.g. I've locked the keys inside) I just pull down the corner of the door.
Running people over is tempting but damaging to a small vehicle like mine. Also, I don't want to drive around with a gaffer taped up bonnet again.
Jess: Oh man funny!!!
Get in the van
Don't scream
Should I bother flirting or shall I just get out the Rohypnol now?
etc. They amused me A LOT but I'm sick.
David: Afternoon Bounciepoo
Me: Keep calling me that and I will mash you
David: I'd just enjoy that..
Me: Pervert
David: Shut up and get in the van
Me: You WISH you had a van
David: I don't NEED a van
Me: I really don't think throwing someone over the back of your bike is going to work....
David: I got a potato sack and a bloody big shopping basket. Shut up and get on the bike
Me: Dude. I really don't want to see you on CrimeWatch tomorrow - man on pushbike tries to kidnap woman...
David: True.. just invite me over then. Less paperwork.
Me: ROMANTIC
Jess: I have so laughed at David!!!! David who IS David, I love him already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I call him Dave. Suits him more. He hates it. He says it makes him sound like an idiot. I'm all *.....*
Jess: So is he Dave? or Roderick? I laughed out loud again and showed Ally your Dave conversation!!!
Me: Was really making me laugh too. Which is unfortunate in a public place... laughing at rape... ho hum.
Jess: Dave's come from Dagenham.........it's a given........me and Ally know this for fact...Dave is Dagenham Dave, a bit like comedy Deeve is from oop north.
Me: "All Daves are from Dagenham. FACT."
HAHA. He is Enfield Tahnnnnnnnn mate.
Also, he is really into Arnold Swartzenegger (whatever spellchecker). Like, really. Amusingly really. We went to Forbidden Planet on Friday (OH DEARSSS) and he casuallyyyyy leant on the counter and was all, er... mate... do you have any... er... TERMINATOR stuff? And the guy was all, dude, no. And Dave was all, lets leave now. But he said it to empty air because I was disassociating.
Jess: SRSLY.... I'm pissing myself!!!
Me: He is also amusingly ... slow? literal? Like, we were in Spitalfields and he picked up Jeff Buckleys album and I said, oh, does it have Alexandra Burke singing Hallelujah on it? And he was all ER NO DUH I DON'T THINK SO. And I'm all, shut up Dave
Jess: How did you meet Dave from Dagenham?
Me: Dave is more Matt's mate I think... well. We used to all work in the library together and his evening was with Matt (mine was with Fiontan) and if you weren't paired with someone on an evening you didn't really see them as most non-casual staff did Saturdays elsewhere.
ANYWAY. I used to chat to him a bit though. He fancied Sophie. He cracked Matt up.
I think he used to text Matt a bit but they never met up. Then I was online one day and David started chatting to me. Then I think he texted Matt and was all, I've broken up with my gf lets all go out drinking. And I chatted to him online more. We went out drinking.. and he's become a mate.
I was like, MATT. DAVE IS REALLY AMUSING. And Matt was all DUH! Don't you remember me telling you he read books on tanks at the counter?? And I was all NOW I UNDERSTAND. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Jess: SRSLY...I LOVE HIM and I don't know him.....
Me: Some people are so amusing. He walks like Terminator too. As in, straight across a road. I'm all *cover eyes.*
And when we got off at my station (he came back to mine for a cuppa) and he marched off. I was all WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO MINE BEFORE. COME BACK. Like, he was HERDING ME the wrong way.
Then, we sat in the lounge drinking tea. And he was all, what a nice view. I'm really digging this room. Loving the pictures, the sofas are cool, all those c.d's are amazing.. BUT. What SKIP did you drag that tv out of??
OH AND. TALKINGGGG OF HERDING:
When me Sophie and Sadie went to Brent Cross, Sophie and Sadie kept wandering in the wrong direction. Sophie had a go at me because she was all GOD IT IS LIKE A ROUTE MARCH just because I was like LEFT. But if I hadn't of said it, those 2 have ended up in Early Learning.
ANYWAY. We were on the A10 shopping thing and whilst Matt was in JJB's we headed to Homebase. A straight line of shops. Homebase big and green at the end.... so why Sophie and Lulu headed into Comet I DON'T KNOW.
And Lulu was all, gosh, we would have worked it out eventually.
And I'm all EVENTUALLY??? Why do you need time to work out that this shop is BLATANTLY not HOMEBASE???
Jess: SNIGGER!!! man I'm srsly loving this dude!!
And, Dude I'm so with you on the wandering malarkey, Sadie does it ALL the time.... but she lives in her own little world, like Sophie, so we're used to it!!! Funny tho...... Sophie, Lulu and Sadie are a disaster waiting to happen......oh no, hang on too fu**ing late!!!
Am still laughing out loud at Dave leaning on the counter and going, mate, have you any terminator stuff.. classic!!!
Me: If Sophie starts driving. And we go somewhere. And she drives. I'm going to be scared to fall asleep incase we end up in Scotland.
How's Ally's driving??!! Booked any road trips???
Him leaning on the counter and trying to be nonchalant about it all .. HAHAHAHAHA.
Jess: She hasn't actually driven yet but that is because her car has been out of action.... hey dude she's drving us to Grandmas on April 26th! But she's gonna have to drink to put up with mad June and ken, and of course you, and mark, and lulu, and Lucy... Also, Ro, I can't get past the counter thing...I'm still enjoying and laughing...just shared with Ally.
Me: HAHA! I hid behind some Twilight merchandise.
She's going to drive down? Ar that's wicked! Good to see her! Why is her car out of action? Did she run someone over? She really shouldn't. That dents up cars more than you'd think.
I'm loving my gma and pa so no rudeness about them! Fingers crossed that I have a job by then.
Jess: FUNNY!!! Her car is just not recognising the key entry code.... what thef**kever! She wants to run someone over badly tho....(secretly, she says, that's why she hasn't got in the car yet).
Me: Key entry code? Goodness. Fancy. When my car won't let me in (e.g. I've locked the keys inside) I just pull down the corner of the door.
Running people over is tempting but damaging to a small vehicle like mine. Also, I don't want to drive around with a gaffer taped up bonnet again.
Jess: Oh man funny!!!
Tuesday 24 March 2009
bzzzzzzz
I washed my car on Sunday. I flung a bucket of water over it and a lot went over my head. BUT. That is not the point! Eyes on the story! I said to mum, whilst I was living at home: "Mum. My car smells like an ash tray. What's the dealio with that?"
And SHE said: "Don't be silly"
Anyways. I found 3! 3 - count em - cigarette butts under the seats.
WHAT THE JIGGINS!!!!
ALSO. I believe their are BEES in the fan in my room. BEES!!!!
ALSO. There is a man from the crazeeee house who wakes me up at the weekend yelling for Alan.
ALANNNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNN . . . .
ALANNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Lend us some money ALANNNNNNNNNNNN (no)
Sophie says I am sleepwalking but I'm not. Goddammit Alan answer him.
And SHE said: "Don't be silly"
Anyways. I found 3! 3 - count em - cigarette butts under the seats.
WHAT THE JIGGINS!!!!
ALSO. I believe their are BEES in the fan in my room. BEES!!!!
ALSO. There is a man from the crazeeee house who wakes me up at the weekend yelling for Alan.
ALANNNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNN . . . .
ALANNNN ALANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Lend us some money ALANNNNNNNNNNNN (no)
Sophie says I am sleepwalking but I'm not. Goddammit Alan answer him.
Monday 23 March 2009
spring shambles
Friday:
My mate David asked me if I wanted to go to Spitalfields with him. I was all.. yeah. Guess so. Had a lovely day wandering in the sunshine. The only thing I have against David.. actually, against is the wrong word, especially since it is kinda amusing.. is that he takes some things really literally... We were looking at all the CD's available and he picked up a Jeff Buckley one. I was all, do you reckon it'll have Alexandra singing Hallelujah on it? (Blatantly I am aware Jeff died years ago and Alex won X Factor and realised her version about a month ago). And David is all, yeah righttttt I don't thinkkkkkk sooooo. *looks at me like I'm an idiot* As I said: Dave, swear to God, it is lucky you are cute.
Saturday:
Such beautiful weather lately that we went for a walk to soak up as much sun as we could. Went to our local park. Back fields empty of people. Sat in the sun eating our sandwiches. Walk to the main part of the park, near to the carpark. SWARMS of people. Half of London. Bizarre that they choose to be in such close proximity to each other when the majority must spend their days crammed like sardines on buses and trains. Daffodils out in force. Found my camera (YES!). Sophie took some lovely arty shots. Asked Matt to go pose in them. Matt stands in them like a dork. Ask him to hide his coke bottle. FLINGS it. Unexpected.
Came home and had a nap. Reapplied makeup as thought David was coming over. Scarf down some pasta with Sophs. David cancels. Watch shit tv instead. Very enjoyable.
Sunday:
Waiting outside some sports EMPORIUM for Matt to choose a pair of football boots:
Lulu: Can I have a pound please? I want to buy a 99.
Me: Yeah.. are 99's a pound then?
Lulu: Don't be a dickhead *walks off to ice cream van*
Me: *to Sophie* I just didn't think they'd only be 99p is all
Sophie: She'll be back in a minute...
Lulu: *Not at all embarrassed* Can I have another pound please?
Me: HAHA
Ambulance man nearby: Haha!
Sophie: Ro, you should go after him. Fit AND useful
Then we got bored waiting for Matt so we went to Homebase to get some ant killer (I know, all laughs round ours). And I stupidly asked the inbred INBRED INBREDIST person in the whole world to point us in the direction of the poison. He took us to the correct aisle. THEN I stupidly asked if ant killer was harmful to cats. (Although would take a JUGGERNAUT to harm Clyde). And he was all, I'll get on the phone to pest control. AND he asked his colleague to help him. His colleague who was definitely DEFINITELY his inbred brother. ANYWAYS half an hour later... they shambled over and one guy was like, no no no no no it's not harm harm harmful to CATS but don't don't don't put it put it it it
Me: All over the cat?
Him: NO! No no no don't do that...
Sophie and Lulu: *Turning their backs to us*
Then Matt finally picked a pair of trainers...
Me: Oh THANK GOD.... do you want a burger?
Matt: I'd LOVE a BURGER
Sophie: HAHA did you think he'd be all, no..
Me: No. I mean, who WOULDN'T want a dirty burger out of a van in a carpark next to a motorway.
Then Matt was a bit worried the guy wouldn't offer him onions but he did. Which was a relief.
Sophie cooked a deeeee licious beef and ale pie for dinner and we watched ER whilst Matt did his homework. ER is proper depressing man. Killing people off in the first 5 minutes.. jeez. We also watched Come Dine With Me because we are into shit tv. WHERE do they get such mentals from? Amusing.
My mate David asked me if I wanted to go to Spitalfields with him. I was all.. yeah. Guess so. Had a lovely day wandering in the sunshine. The only thing I have against David.. actually, against is the wrong word, especially since it is kinda amusing.. is that he takes some things really literally... We were looking at all the CD's available and he picked up a Jeff Buckley one. I was all, do you reckon it'll have Alexandra singing Hallelujah on it? (Blatantly I am aware Jeff died years ago and Alex won X Factor and realised her version about a month ago). And David is all, yeah righttttt I don't thinkkkkkk sooooo. *looks at me like I'm an idiot* As I said: Dave, swear to God, it is lucky you are cute.
Saturday:
Such beautiful weather lately that we went for a walk to soak up as much sun as we could. Went to our local park. Back fields empty of people. Sat in the sun eating our sandwiches. Walk to the main part of the park, near to the carpark. SWARMS of people. Half of London. Bizarre that they choose to be in such close proximity to each other when the majority must spend their days crammed like sardines on buses and trains. Daffodils out in force. Found my camera (YES!). Sophie took some lovely arty shots. Asked Matt to go pose in them. Matt stands in them like a dork. Ask him to hide his coke bottle. FLINGS it. Unexpected.
Came home and had a nap. Reapplied makeup as thought David was coming over. Scarf down some pasta with Sophs. David cancels. Watch shit tv instead. Very enjoyable.
Sunday:
Waiting outside some sports EMPORIUM for Matt to choose a pair of football boots:
Lulu: Can I have a pound please? I want to buy a 99.
Me: Yeah.. are 99's a pound then?
Lulu: Don't be a dickhead *walks off to ice cream van*
Me: *to Sophie* I just didn't think they'd only be 99p is all
Sophie: She'll be back in a minute...
Lulu: *Not at all embarrassed* Can I have another pound please?
Me: HAHA
Ambulance man nearby: Haha!
Sophie: Ro, you should go after him. Fit AND useful
Then we got bored waiting for Matt so we went to Homebase to get some ant killer (I know, all laughs round ours). And I stupidly asked the inbred INBRED INBREDIST person in the whole world to point us in the direction of the poison. He took us to the correct aisle. THEN I stupidly asked if ant killer was harmful to cats. (Although would take a JUGGERNAUT to harm Clyde). And he was all, I'll get on the phone to pest control. AND he asked his colleague to help him. His colleague who was definitely DEFINITELY his inbred brother. ANYWAYS half an hour later... they shambled over and one guy was like, no no no no no it's not harm harm harmful to CATS but don't don't don't put it put it it it
Me: All over the cat?
Him: NO! No no no don't do that...
Sophie and Lulu: *Turning their backs to us*
Then Matt finally picked a pair of trainers...
Me: Oh THANK GOD.... do you want a burger?
Matt: I'd LOVE a BURGER
Sophie: HAHA did you think he'd be all, no..
Me: No. I mean, who WOULDN'T want a dirty burger out of a van in a carpark next to a motorway.
Then Matt was a bit worried the guy wouldn't offer him onions but he did. Which was a relief.
Sophie cooked a deeeee licious beef and ale pie for dinner and we watched ER whilst Matt did his homework. ER is proper depressing man. Killing people off in the first 5 minutes.. jeez. We also watched Come Dine With Me because we are into shit tv. WHERE do they get such mentals from? Amusing.
Wednesday 18 March 2009
Peter Pan
Ruth: On way to Slimming World. Feels like I'm off to be hanged as have been so bad over the weekend.
Me: Think happy thoughts then you'll become light enough to fly.
*Later*
Ruth: Happy thoughts didn't work for me... I became heavier!
Me: Well. Shit. It worked for Peter Pan.
Ruth: Peter was drinking Red Bull.
Me: Peter's a dick sometimes man.
Ruth: I know. Goes around feeding kids substances to make them think they can fly out of their window. Who does he think he is?
Me: I'm going to get onto child services.
Me: Think happy thoughts then you'll become light enough to fly.
*Later*
Ruth: Happy thoughts didn't work for me... I became heavier!
Me: Well. Shit. It worked for Peter Pan.
Ruth: Peter was drinking Red Bull.
Me: Peter's a dick sometimes man.
Ruth: I know. Goes around feeding kids substances to make them think they can fly out of their window. Who does he think he is?
Me: I'm going to get onto child services.
Tuesday 17 March 2009
Steve leaves
Chris is leaving my old place of work. Since he has been known as Steve there for 3 years now, I assume it is to get his identity back.
Steve: Dear all,
Just a quick reminder about this Thursday. For those of you who were away last week, we postponed the dinner to Thursday 19th March, so hopefully everyone can now make it along.
The vague plan is to meet in a pub at 6pm, then I will book a table somewhere for 7pm. Please let me know whether this works with everyone. If so, I will send clearer plans on the day.
I have already got confirmation from Hollie, Martina, Sam, Florian, Charlotte and myself, so am still waiting for a final word from Mike, Shamima and Fanny.
Hopefully see you all on Thursday.
Regards,
CS
Me: RUDE. Don't I count?
Steve: Apologies Rosie! But to quote Jagdish, "you worthless monkey!"
Count yourself officially counted. See you on Thursday.
Sam: I guess we all took it for granted you would be there - like Chris. Else what's the point?
Me: Thanks Sam! I tell you, it is lucky I know such great people otherwise I might have chucked myself under the Piccadilly Line by now... actually, that is a lie. I find it really bugging when people do that.
Sam: Too true, please choose another line when the time comes. Look forward to seeing you. Sam
Steve: Dear all,
Just a quick reminder about this Thursday. For those of you who were away last week, we postponed the dinner to Thursday 19th March, so hopefully everyone can now make it along.
The vague plan is to meet in a pub at 6pm, then I will book a table somewhere for 7pm. Please let me know whether this works with everyone. If so, I will send clearer plans on the day.
I have already got confirmation from Hollie, Martina, Sam, Florian, Charlotte and myself, so am still waiting for a final word from Mike, Shamima and Fanny.
Hopefully see you all on Thursday.
Regards,
CS
Me: RUDE. Don't I count?
Steve: Apologies Rosie! But to quote Jagdish, "you worthless monkey!"
Count yourself officially counted. See you on Thursday.
Sam: I guess we all took it for granted you would be there - like Chris. Else what's the point?
Me: Thanks Sam! I tell you, it is lucky I know such great people otherwise I might have chucked myself under the Piccadilly Line by now... actually, that is a lie. I find it really bugging when people do that.
Sam: Too true, please choose another line when the time comes. Look forward to seeing you. Sam
Sunday 15 March 2009
dreams
Me: Am applying to jobs like, PA to CEO of financial research company. Experience is like, able to write well, talk well, worked 1:1 before, worked in finance before. I'm all, YEP ALL OVER IT. THEN it's like, excellent powerpoint, word and excel skills. And I'm like... er.. go for it? Or forget? Because I can cobble together a powerpoint presentation (last attempted at uni) and can work on excel but am not sure am EXCELLENT at it. Thoughts?
Sadie: Go for it. You can always buy Powerpoint for home and brush up. Excel doesnt have that much in it to be skilled at.
Sophie: Go for it cos it takes about a minute to learn anyway. I lied and got lumbered with the whole excel thing and now sometimes when I have to write in English and I’ve spent the last 56465435465 hours in Excel I forget how to type normal words. I think they just say that b-locks in a app to cover their bases. You could be a parachuting medic and they’d put down ‘IT skills’ as something you should be good at.
Sadie: Laughing! Am going to check the very next parachuting medic cv I spot.
Me: Yeah. I've applied to them because am reasoning that I've got the other experience they are asking for and have the basics of excel and pp so can always get someone to show me if get job. Am trying to apply for nice sounding pa jobs, in media and whatnot. Why have i only got experience and am checking all the boxes for the financial pa roles?? HOW DID THIS ABOMINATION HAPPEN?
Sadie: I know! I wanted to be an archaeologist.
Sophie: I want to be a forensic scientist and I would have loved to be an archaeologist. And now I would quite like to be an ethnobotamist like the Grow Your Own Drugs dude.
Sadie: I spend my day talking in acronyms as in:
Is the feed into CRD direct from CTM? or is it CRD via ITR to CTM, and does CRD have a UAT environment because I have to report to the ITMT before I do a CC re the BONY change.
When my day is over, I often find myself thinking TTFON. Time To F* Off Now.
Sophie: Oh! We have that too. And sometimes I snigger because sometimes they are the same as real life things like BNP, SAS and sometimes they just are a bit wrong like FUC.
Me: I love those ones!! Mainly bcause Im all WHY HAS NOONE REALISED!!! Ironically, I HATE the one for the Harley Street breast clinic which is BAAPS. HATE.
Sadie: BAAPS was a huge mistake by someone.
We had FART (FMC Additional Reporting) and this was replaced by ARSE (Additional Reporting System Enterprise) Both names deliberately made up. Sadly, just before go-live they made us change ARSE to MARS.
Me: Just mean.
Sadie: Go for it. You can always buy Powerpoint for home and brush up. Excel doesnt have that much in it to be skilled at.
Sophie: Go for it cos it takes about a minute to learn anyway. I lied and got lumbered with the whole excel thing and now sometimes when I have to write in English and I’ve spent the last 56465435465 hours in Excel I forget how to type normal words. I think they just say that b-locks in a app to cover their bases. You could be a parachuting medic and they’d put down ‘IT skills’ as something you should be good at.
Sadie: Laughing! Am going to check the very next parachuting medic cv I spot.
Me: Yeah. I've applied to them because am reasoning that I've got the other experience they are asking for and have the basics of excel and pp so can always get someone to show me if get job. Am trying to apply for nice sounding pa jobs, in media and whatnot. Why have i only got experience and am checking all the boxes for the financial pa roles?? HOW DID THIS ABOMINATION HAPPEN?
Sadie: I know! I wanted to be an archaeologist.
Sophie: I want to be a forensic scientist and I would have loved to be an archaeologist. And now I would quite like to be an ethnobotamist like the Grow Your Own Drugs dude.
Sadie: I spend my day talking in acronyms as in:
Is the feed into CRD direct from CTM? or is it CRD via ITR to CTM, and does CRD have a UAT environment because I have to report to the ITMT before I do a CC re the BONY change.
When my day is over, I often find myself thinking TTFON. Time To F* Off Now.
Sophie: Oh! We have that too. And sometimes I snigger because sometimes they are the same as real life things like BNP, SAS and sometimes they just are a bit wrong like FUC.
Me: I love those ones!! Mainly bcause Im all WHY HAS NOONE REALISED!!! Ironically, I HATE the one for the Harley Street breast clinic which is BAAPS. HATE.
Sadie: BAAPS was a huge mistake by someone.
We had FART (FMC Additional Reporting) and this was replaced by ARSE (Additional Reporting System Enterprise) Both names deliberately made up. Sadly, just before go-live they made us change ARSE to MARS.
Me: Just mean.
Saturday 14 March 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBY
Me: This morning on the way to the station I got a clearer look at the guy who wears a pink cowboy hat and says hello. The hat isn't actually pink but more a reddish snakeskin. I don't think it is especially an improvement.
Also, when I got to work, there was an old man standing outside the station holding a small sign in the air saying: JESUS. I desperately wanted to go: "Where??!!" But I didn't.
Sophie: FYI cowboy hat man was vomming as I went past and searching for something in the vom. The newsagents kicked him out.
Sadie: Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD! What could have POSSIBLY been in there that he might want.
Me: Very glad I didn't snog him then.
Sadie: Snorting!!!!!!
Me: Even though he is polite and yesterday told me he liked my dress, the drunken slurring and rambling put me off.
Sophie: Well, I believe this is what happened:
He walked to the newsagents
Tried to buy alcohol with coppers
Was turned away
Started his very slow walk back (he has a limp leg)
Puked and dropped coppers
Etc
I feel quite sorry for him to be honest. He told Matt is was his birthday the other day and that he should buy him a drink.
Sadie: Lord, life must be hard when coppers are that important to you. So what would I wade through sick for I wonder..............
Sophie: At least a fiver.
Sadie: Funny dude!
Sophie: Hm but true.
Unless it was that dude’s sick.
It depends if it is my own. I may even fish in a family member’s for a fiver but absolutely no way that dude from this morn.
Sadie: I'm so glad you draw the line somewhere.
I hope Toby appreciates this post in honour of his birthday.
Also, when I got to work, there was an old man standing outside the station holding a small sign in the air saying: JESUS. I desperately wanted to go: "Where??!!" But I didn't.
Sophie: FYI cowboy hat man was vomming as I went past and searching for something in the vom. The newsagents kicked him out.
Sadie: Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD! What could have POSSIBLY been in there that he might want.
Me: Very glad I didn't snog him then.
Sadie: Snorting!!!!!!
Me: Even though he is polite and yesterday told me he liked my dress, the drunken slurring and rambling put me off.
Sophie: Well, I believe this is what happened:
He walked to the newsagents
Tried to buy alcohol with coppers
Was turned away
Started his very slow walk back (he has a limp leg)
Puked and dropped coppers
Etc
I feel quite sorry for him to be honest. He told Matt is was his birthday the other day and that he should buy him a drink.
Sadie: Lord, life must be hard when coppers are that important to you. So what would I wade through sick for I wonder..............
Sophie: At least a fiver.
Sadie: Funny dude!
Sophie: Hm but true.
Unless it was that dude’s sick.
It depends if it is my own. I may even fish in a family member’s for a fiver but absolutely no way that dude from this morn.
Sadie: I'm so glad you draw the line somewhere.
I hope Toby appreciates this post in honour of his birthday.
Friday 13 March 2009
drivin
Jess: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! ALLY PASSED HER DRIVING TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sadie: Oh DUDE!!!!!!! WELL DONE ALLY!!!!!!!! That's SUPER!!!!!!
Sophie: OH THANK GAWD!!!! WELL DONE ALLY!
Jess: You and her both!
Sophie: My driving licence arrived today!
Sadie: So, thats everyone but me then!
Me: You should hook up with lulu. She has a vair vair interesting business plan re: hot naked chauffeur drivers.
Sophie: YOUR TURN SADIE!
Sadie: So not.
Jess: Aw, Sade, not important dude.
Sophie: Oh, that’s what I meant too!
Sadie: TOO LATE! I shall just stick to knitting and kittens. And wardrobe removal.
Me: If those 3 categories are your strengths... good luck dude.
Sadie: Mean
Sophie: Tee hee
Me: Congrats to Ally anyways. Did she get her boobs out? ME TOO
Sadie: Dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.
Me: Give me a break, that sht was HARD man. Also, that just proves I am entrepreneurial and forward thinking and willing to put my best foot forward etc.
Sadie: Proud of you babe. Proud.
Sadie: Oh DUDE!!!!!!! WELL DONE ALLY!!!!!!!! That's SUPER!!!!!!
Sophie: OH THANK GAWD!!!! WELL DONE ALLY!
Jess: You and her both!
Sophie: My driving licence arrived today!
Sadie: So, thats everyone but me then!
Me: You should hook up with lulu. She has a vair vair interesting business plan re: hot naked chauffeur drivers.
Sophie: YOUR TURN SADIE!
Sadie: So not.
Jess: Aw, Sade, not important dude.
Sophie: Oh, that’s what I meant too!
Sadie: TOO LATE! I shall just stick to knitting and kittens. And wardrobe removal.
Me: If those 3 categories are your strengths... good luck dude.
Sadie: Mean
Sophie: Tee hee
Me: Congrats to Ally anyways. Did she get her boobs out? ME TOO
Sadie: Dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.
Me: Give me a break, that sht was HARD man. Also, that just proves I am entrepreneurial and forward thinking and willing to put my best foot forward etc.
Sadie: Proud of you babe. Proud.
Thursday 12 March 2009
Bun Control
Me: Thinking of going to Brent Cross this weekend for interview trousers/skirt. There is a Next, Evans, Dorothy Perkins across the flyover and in Brent is Monsoon and M&S. Do you want to come with? x
Sadie: That'd be cool-as long as we are allowed breakfast/lunch/snack/whatever whilst there. Sat fine with me.
Me: Right, because I was REALLY going to disallow that!! HA! Ok, so will go on Sat then. Sounds good.
Sadie: I know how strict you are with the whole bun control issue.
Me: I like buns in all forms. And I think you know what I mean.
Sadie: Yes, I think I think I know what you mean too.
Sadie: That'd be cool-as long as we are allowed breakfast/lunch/snack/whatever whilst there. Sat fine with me.
Me: Right, because I was REALLY going to disallow that!! HA! Ok, so will go on Sat then. Sounds good.
Sadie: I know how strict you are with the whole bun control issue.
Me: I like buns in all forms. And I think you know what I mean.
Sadie: Yes, I think I think I know what you mean too.
Wednesday 11 March 2009
epic fail
Dad: Shhhhhhhhh. Don't tell anyone.....
Sophie: HAHA
Sadie: Mean. MEAN. But at least we got it half way up the sta..................OK, OK, epic fail.
Me: WHATEVER! We are wimmins not beefcakes. Which is lucky as we had to slide past that gap to get downstairs and to the pub. It was like, worst fears realised going past that - thought I was going to get stuck and be there forever.
Sadie: What Rosie means is we glided past it. Glided and shimmied I tell you.
Me: So, we got the wardrobe stuck up the stairs and Sadie was all, OK! THAT didn't work!! Let's go to the dump instead. So we lug the heaviest tv in the WHOLE WORLD down the street to my car. Manage to wedge it in the boot. Think have locked keys in mote as can't find them, haven't. Get in car. Get ready to go. Realise left something in house. Go back in. Get back in car. Go to dump. Dump closed.
ME: What shall we do now?
Sadie: Red wine.
ME: OK!
Epic fail. Epic. I mean, not to the red wine. We did that REAL well.
Sadie: Rosie said red wine. I said a nice cup of tea, and I only went with the whole red wine idea because the pub didnt serve cups of tea.
Me: Slander
Dad: F the removal
Sophie: Haha!
Tuesday 10 March 2009
the lion, the witch and the wedged 'drobe
So. The wardrobe. I get to Sadie's where this big old wardrobe is in the hall. She's taken the bannister off and we are ready to go!!! Managed to get it half way before wedging it. Luckily there was enough room, once it had been pushed to the side, for me to get passed and down the stairs. I had to slowly edge past it and can I just say, WORST NIGHTMARES REALISED as at one point I got stuck and thought I was going to be left in the dark behind a wardrobe until I died. Frickin scary.
So then Sadie was all, ok. Forget the wardrobe. We'll take the t.v to the dump. Load the heaviest tv in the world into my car. Get to the dump. Dump closed. OH OF COURSE IT IS!
Me: Ok. What should we do now?
Sadie: Pub?
Me: Let's go.
Also, she has had to text my father and ask him to help her shift it and not mention to ANYONE that the wimmins got a wardrobe lodged up the stairs. I'd say about 2 minutes later she received numerous texts from relatives asking about whether she needed a quote to remove a wardrobe. Most amusing.
So then Sadie was all, ok. Forget the wardrobe. We'll take the t.v to the dump. Load the heaviest tv in the world into my car. Get to the dump. Dump closed. OH OF COURSE IT IS!
Me: Ok. What should we do now?
Sadie: Pub?
Me: Let's go.
Also, she has had to text my father and ask him to help her shift it and not mention to ANYONE that the wimmins got a wardrobe lodged up the stairs. I'd say about 2 minutes later she received numerous texts from relatives asking about whether she needed a quote to remove a wardrobe. Most amusing.
Monday 9 March 2009
what's occurring?
Again with the not updating. And the being made redundant. Plus I lost my phone. That is because it doesn't rain IT SHITS ON YOUR HEAD.
Here is an update via email:
Me: Came in this morning to my formal redundancy letter :(
Ruth came round last night with pizza and wine so at least had a lovely evening.
...Sophie ruined it a little by coming home and puking like a mule.
Sophie: Hello, I am at home this day. Feeling a tad better now. Just stomach aches and rumbles. Very embarrassing. Think I got food poisoning from a Hoisin Duck Wrap from Tesco cos when I was eating it I thought 'this tastes funny'. I thought I was never going to get home. Was sick along B Ave, inside 51 B Ave a few times(had to keep it quiet from mum and dad because didnt want them worrying before they go on hol), at Southgate station a couple of times, In Southgate Mcdonalds a couple of times. Then I started crying. IN THE STREET. Just so embarrassing. Thought I was never going to get home and be able to puke in my own toilet ALL EVENING.
Would like to say I cleaned and bleached all loos involved but sadly for commuters this morning I did not clean the streets.
I would also like to add the puking was not the worst part there were other worse horrors that I can't face going in to.
Thank God Matt was there because I would probably still be slumped against a wall somewhere around Southgate. I haven't managed to wash yet because I'm thinking that I might be sick in hot steam. URGHHHHHHHH
Jess: Oh poor Sophie!!!!
I hope you are feeling better hon...that's a shi88y thing to happen!!! It certainly sounds like F.P, bless nasty thing to happen..
Me: Just adding to the puke along our road by the pubs innit.
Hope it IS food poisoning as if I am sick on my weekend I'll be kinda upset.
Jess: Rosie that's not being very supportive....if you ARE sick this weekend it will burn off the PIZZA you had.
Sophie: So not worth the day off work!! Does anyone have any good news?!!!! This is where you need Lulu to cheer you up. Apparently her 'of' and 'off' spelling test was real.
Actually, good news is that Ruth is very sweet. I text her yesterday morn to say that Ro had some bad news and might need a hug/drink and I got a reply 2 mins later saying "I'll be round at 7 with the non-healthy options".
Sadie: Bless
Me: HAHA! Mmmmm minstrels.
Jess: Poor Soph! No good news, but good news that I'm not 'puking like a mule' as Ro so delicately put, and not redundant(so far). We need something nice to happen girls. If anyone wants coffee tomorrow let me know.
Me: She was.
Jess: Very good expression!
Sophie: Me: Matt I'm sooooooo embarrassed.
Matt: Don't worry, nobody noticed.
What a lovely liar. I would like a coffee
Jess: Ar he's sweet!! OK. Lovely to coffee
Me: HAHA! Oh well. I always think, eh, I'm NEVER going to be the most disgusting person on public transport puking or not.
Clyde made Ruth laugh A LOT last night. He was sitting staring up at the wall at something (dead people) and then would LEAP up as high as he could (few cm's) and stretch out his paws. For AGES he did that (2 minutes) and then EXHAUSTION made him lie on the sofa with her. Until she petted him and then he jumped down, looked at her with disgust, and went to his basket. Seconded to coffee. Although at some point I've been volunteered to walk the dogs whilst ma and pa are in Bruges.
Can have a look in Next for some interview trousers. Deep joy.
Sadie: Laughing!
Jess: I love that cat!!!!
Oh I'll walk the dogs wiv you!!
Sophie: Me too.
Sadie: Sophs, hope you're feeling better now. I want coffee, and I want to walk the dogs, but I also need some help.
Wardrobe turned up out of the blue last night, man said he took a chance even though he hadnt booked it with me. I hadnt taken the bannister off so couldnt attempt to get it upstairs. So I need someone to help me get it up the stairs.
And also I need Rosie to take me to the dump. Not to dump me you understand, though to be fair I am a bit creaky and some bits dont work so good no more. Its the TV in my front garden, and the bust bread machine that gotta go.
Pretty please.
Sophie: IT HURTS TO LAUGH! Tee hee. I will help. Not that strong though. I think wardrobe pushing is the job for an ox...
Me. If you 2 aren't aware, she is referring to me and the time we were in the kebab shop and the kebab man said I was like an ox. She is very RUDE even though I have been very sympathetic to her malady. FRIED EGGS sophie FRIED EGGS
Jess: Oh funny!!!
Sophie: That is so cruel. Just managed to shower. Feels so good.
Me: HIGH FIVE!!! Try managing a hoover!! Is good for recovery :) Fried eggs are the WORST thing to think of when you feel sick. Yuk. Fried eggs. Who wants to think of fried eggs when they are feeling vomitous? Noone, that's who.
Jess: Heh heh
Sophie: WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THEM??
Sadie: Really REALLY laughing! Poor Sophie, she needs sympathy not cruel (but hilarious) comments.
Jess: FFD!!!!! Really laughed at that!
Sophie: I'm glad you lot can see the funny side. Makes me feel so much better.
Me: Ruth is an occupational therapist. She would probably also suggest some soothing cooking. Perhaps around 7pm.
Jess: Funny!!
Sophie: Think I would die unfortunately. Had to lie down after shower. What a pity.
Jess: Yes im not sure we're up to lifting wardrobes up stairs?
Sadie: Its not really heavy, I lifted it out of the man with a van's van, with the man with the van.
Sophie: Was the man with the van called Stan?
Sadie: I didn't catch his name as we didn't formally introduce ourselves. I shagged him anyway.
Sophie: Shocking. Look at this email:
From: Kendra at Tesco
Dear Miss S,
We've noticed that you haven't placed a grocery shop with us for a while, and we hope that we haven't let you down.
Please don't forget how easy and convenient it is to shop online. All the purchases you've made online and in-store are still kept in 'My Favourites'.
And because we'd really like to welcome you back, we'll give you £7.50 off your next grocery order when you spend £75 or more.
So why not let us do your shopping for you again soon?
Best wishes,
Kendra
From: Sophie
Dear Kendra,
Haven't shopped online for a while, that is correct. The reason for this is because we were at the end of the delivery run and our items usually turned up late and somewhat soggy. I think things melted on other things by the time they got to us. Quite often our groceries were missing or wrong or on the use by date.
I would also like to add that your Hoisin Duck Wrap made me violently ill with food poisoning and its an experience I never wish to repeat.
Kind regards,
Sophie
Me: That made me laugh!!
Sadie: Me too! Classic! Well done you!
Jess: MAN THAT WAS AN AWESOME REPLY!!!!!!! I respect you forever!!! I'm having a shi8e afternoon, people having a go at me for things wot is NOT my fault!!!! I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sophie: Buy them duck wraps!
Jess: Excellent idea!!
Me: JESS YOU JUST 'replied all' ON THAT EMAIL AND SENT IT TO TESCO!!! HA HA
Jess: OH GOD NO NO NO NO! DUDE IM HAVING A REEEELY STRESSED OUT BTCH FROM HELL TIME HERE!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO EXPECT ME TO FOCUS!!!
Sadie: Oh, really laughing now!!!!!!!!!!! Dude! Snorting! Snorting. Big piles of snort on my keyboard!
So- there you go! Next up, the saga of the (non-heavy my butt) wardrobe.
Here is an update via email:
Me: Came in this morning to my formal redundancy letter :(
Ruth came round last night with pizza and wine so at least had a lovely evening.
...Sophie ruined it a little by coming home and puking like a mule.
Sophie: Hello, I am at home this day. Feeling a tad better now. Just stomach aches and rumbles. Very embarrassing. Think I got food poisoning from a Hoisin Duck Wrap from Tesco cos when I was eating it I thought 'this tastes funny'. I thought I was never going to get home. Was sick along B Ave, inside 51 B Ave a few times(had to keep it quiet from mum and dad because didnt want them worrying before they go on hol), at Southgate station a couple of times, In Southgate Mcdonalds a couple of times. Then I started crying. IN THE STREET. Just so embarrassing. Thought I was never going to get home and be able to puke in my own toilet ALL EVENING.
Would like to say I cleaned and bleached all loos involved but sadly for commuters this morning I did not clean the streets.
I would also like to add the puking was not the worst part there were other worse horrors that I can't face going in to.
Thank God Matt was there because I would probably still be slumped against a wall somewhere around Southgate. I haven't managed to wash yet because I'm thinking that I might be sick in hot steam. URGHHHHHHHH
Jess: Oh poor Sophie!!!!
I hope you are feeling better hon...that's a shi88y thing to happen!!! It certainly sounds like F.P, bless nasty thing to happen..
Me: Just adding to the puke along our road by the pubs innit.
Hope it IS food poisoning as if I am sick on my weekend I'll be kinda upset.
Jess: Rosie that's not being very supportive....if you ARE sick this weekend it will burn off the PIZZA you had.
Sophie: So not worth the day off work!! Does anyone have any good news?!!!! This is where you need Lulu to cheer you up. Apparently her 'of' and 'off' spelling test was real.
Actually, good news is that Ruth is very sweet. I text her yesterday morn to say that Ro had some bad news and might need a hug/drink and I got a reply 2 mins later saying "I'll be round at 7 with the non-healthy options".
Sadie: Bless
Me: HAHA! Mmmmm minstrels.
Jess: Poor Soph! No good news, but good news that I'm not 'puking like a mule' as Ro so delicately put, and not redundant(so far). We need something nice to happen girls. If anyone wants coffee tomorrow let me know.
Me: She was.
Jess: Very good expression!
Sophie: Me: Matt I'm sooooooo embarrassed.
Matt: Don't worry, nobody noticed.
What a lovely liar. I would like a coffee
Jess: Ar he's sweet!! OK. Lovely to coffee
Me: HAHA! Oh well. I always think, eh, I'm NEVER going to be the most disgusting person on public transport puking or not.
Clyde made Ruth laugh A LOT last night. He was sitting staring up at the wall at something (dead people) and then would LEAP up as high as he could (few cm's) and stretch out his paws. For AGES he did that (2 minutes) and then EXHAUSTION made him lie on the sofa with her. Until she petted him and then he jumped down, looked at her with disgust, and went to his basket. Seconded to coffee. Although at some point I've been volunteered to walk the dogs whilst ma and pa are in Bruges.
Can have a look in Next for some interview trousers. Deep joy.
Sadie: Laughing!
Jess: I love that cat!!!!
Oh I'll walk the dogs wiv you!!
Sophie: Me too.
Sadie: Sophs, hope you're feeling better now. I want coffee, and I want to walk the dogs, but I also need some help.
Wardrobe turned up out of the blue last night, man said he took a chance even though he hadnt booked it with me. I hadnt taken the bannister off so couldnt attempt to get it upstairs. So I need someone to help me get it up the stairs.
And also I need Rosie to take me to the dump. Not to dump me you understand, though to be fair I am a bit creaky and some bits dont work so good no more. Its the TV in my front garden, and the bust bread machine that gotta go.
Pretty please.
Sophie: IT HURTS TO LAUGH! Tee hee. I will help. Not that strong though. I think wardrobe pushing is the job for an ox...
Me. If you 2 aren't aware, she is referring to me and the time we were in the kebab shop and the kebab man said I was like an ox. She is very RUDE even though I have been very sympathetic to her malady. FRIED EGGS sophie FRIED EGGS
Jess: Oh funny!!!
Sophie: That is so cruel. Just managed to shower. Feels so good.
Me: HIGH FIVE!!! Try managing a hoover!! Is good for recovery :) Fried eggs are the WORST thing to think of when you feel sick. Yuk. Fried eggs. Who wants to think of fried eggs when they are feeling vomitous? Noone, that's who.
Jess: Heh heh
Sophie: WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THEM??
Sadie: Really REALLY laughing! Poor Sophie, she needs sympathy not cruel (but hilarious) comments.
Jess: FFD!!!!! Really laughed at that!
Sophie: I'm glad you lot can see the funny side. Makes me feel so much better.
Me: Ruth is an occupational therapist. She would probably also suggest some soothing cooking. Perhaps around 7pm.
Jess: Funny!!
Sophie: Think I would die unfortunately. Had to lie down after shower. What a pity.
Jess: Yes im not sure we're up to lifting wardrobes up stairs?
Sadie: Its not really heavy, I lifted it out of the man with a van's van, with the man with the van.
Sophie: Was the man with the van called Stan?
Sadie: I didn't catch his name as we didn't formally introduce ourselves. I shagged him anyway.
Sophie: Shocking. Look at this email:
From: Kendra at Tesco
Dear Miss S,
We've noticed that you haven't placed a grocery shop with us for a while, and we hope that we haven't let you down.
Please don't forget how easy and convenient it is to shop online. All the purchases you've made online and in-store are still kept in 'My Favourites'.
And because we'd really like to welcome you back, we'll give you £7.50 off your next grocery order when you spend £75 or more.
So why not let us do your shopping for you again soon?
Best wishes,
Kendra
From: Sophie
Dear Kendra,
Haven't shopped online for a while, that is correct. The reason for this is because we were at the end of the delivery run and our items usually turned up late and somewhat soggy. I think things melted on other things by the time they got to us. Quite often our groceries were missing or wrong or on the use by date.
I would also like to add that your Hoisin Duck Wrap made me violently ill with food poisoning and its an experience I never wish to repeat.
Kind regards,
Sophie
Me: That made me laugh!!
Sadie: Me too! Classic! Well done you!
Jess: MAN THAT WAS AN AWESOME REPLY!!!!!!! I respect you forever!!! I'm having a shi8e afternoon, people having a go at me for things wot is NOT my fault!!!! I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sophie: Buy them duck wraps!
Jess: Excellent idea!!
Me: JESS YOU JUST 'replied all' ON THAT EMAIL AND SENT IT TO TESCO!!! HA HA
Jess: OH GOD NO NO NO NO! DUDE IM HAVING A REEEELY STRESSED OUT BTCH FROM HELL TIME HERE!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO EXPECT ME TO FOCUS!!!
Sadie: Oh, really laughing now!!!!!!!!!!! Dude! Snorting! Snorting. Big piles of snort on my keyboard!
So- there you go! Next up, the saga of the (non-heavy my butt) wardrobe.
Sunday 8 March 2009
every time I read this I laugh
Dad: Lu Lu say she got 14 out of 14 for spelling today. One of the words was help another was of. She is very please with her result.
Sophie: What?!
Me: "One of the words was help another was of" - Sophie - One of the words was 'help,' another was 'of'
Jess: FD!
Me: Took a while to work out. Am surprised she got of actually and didnt write off or something
Lulu: i only got it right cos i ididnt no that u HAD to put 2 'ff' 's when writing off. i thought it was just 1. didnt no there was any difference :S
Me: You're joking . . . right?
Sophie: Im confused. Why was Lulu in a Primary School having a test and is this her?
Lulu: cos ur mum said u r an idiot thats why
Sophie: YOU ARE
Jess: Wtf?????? is.going.on?
Sophie: What?!
Me: "One of the words was help another was of" - Sophie - One of the words was 'help,' another was 'of'
Jess: FD!
Me: Took a while to work out. Am surprised she got of actually and didnt write off or something
Lulu: i only got it right cos i ididnt no that u HAD to put 2 'ff' 's when writing off. i thought it was just 1. didnt no there was any difference :S
Me: You're joking . . . right?
Sophie: Im confused. Why was Lulu in a Primary School having a test and is this her?
Lulu: cos ur mum said u r an idiot thats why
Sophie: YOU ARE
Jess: Wtf?????? is.going.on?
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