trouserless

Things that you say at 5am:


Woken up by Clyde leaping onto dresser:
Mmmmmmok well, you can play with my makeup but try not to tangle my necklaces

Clyde drinking out your water glass:
Try not to spill that on my phone

Clyde snuggling/sticking his head in your face:
Cute. Lets do this another time though cos this is too early. K?

Clyde biting your hands:
ow. this really hurts. please stop

Clyde scratching the fake wood:
Dude, that's not realllll. Go do it somewhere else.

Things that you say at 7.30am:


Clyde leaping onto the dresser:
OMG GET DOWN YOU IDIOT WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION!!?????

Clyde drinking out your water glass:
DUDE!!! OMG!!!! I DRINK THAT!!! HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING IT TOO???? GROSS!!!

Clyde snuggling/sticking his head in your face:
This doesn't happen when it's a convenient time. E.g. Not fuck o'clock

Clyde biting your hands:
OW THAT HURTS JESUS CHRIST CAT

Clyde scratching the fake wood:
No, srsly, that ain't real wood. Stop it before it looks worse than it does... are you even listening to me?

Jess: Oh god I love this email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeping it!

Sadie: Laughing big time! I'm beginning to be grateful I dont have a cat!

Sophie: Last night -
*THUMPPPPPPPP CRASH*
Matt: Erm… Clyde?
Matt: Clyde!
Matt: CLYDE!
Clyde: …. *looking*
Matt: Clyde, are Clyde’s allowed up there?
Clyde: *Looking*
Clyde: *Still just generally looking*
Matt: It’s ok buddy I’ll get you down
Matt: (Whispering) It’s ok, I won’t tell Sophie what your arse has just done to her glasses
Me: OH MY GOD YOU FAT EFFING CAT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY YOU AREN’T ALLOWED UP THERE YOU GINORMOUS BL**DY LUMP
Matt: Poor Clyde, I think you have upset him
Clyde *Still just looking*
Me: POOR CLYDE?! RANTRANTRANT

Jess: Srsly fu88ing funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Love it!!!


Me: You know, it's funny when it happens to you. And your stuff.

Jess: Snigger

Me: When I got home last night, Sophie and Matt were lounging on their bed. I went in and had a chat. Went out and bumped into Clyde outside. Picked him up and went back in their room and was all: Look Clyde, all your family together! I put him on the bed. He LEAPED off and shot out the door. Matt: "Well. Huh. That was pretty insulting."

Sophie: Yes, this was 10 mins after the whole sitting on my glasses situation. He had just endured a bit of an earful.
I had a big fat headache last night and came home after an hour and a half driving lesson. Was going to put some washing on and think about dinner but I just took my trousers off and went to bed. Then Clyde came in and sat on me. That Matt came home and was like, what is going on? And then he sat on the bed watching telly. Then Rosie came home and was all, what is going on? And I just wanted to be in bed trouserless and in peace and dark.

Me: *All in bedroom*
Sophie: I would just like you both to know that I'm trouserless.
Me: Eh, you're always naked
Matt: *doesn't even acknowledge*

Jess: Oh laughing still!!

Sadie: FD! All your nightly conversations just excellent!