soap as phone? fail

Jess: I PICKED UP A BAR OF NOVELTY SOAP OFF MY BED INSTEAD OF MY PHONE!!!! ... got no signal.

Rosie: HAHA

Sophie: Really laughed and read it aloud to people and they laughed too.

Jess: *BLUSH* Jessica the tard!

Sophie: I’m never going to forget this

Jess: Repeat...... Jessica the tard.

Me: I keep laughing everytime I read 'I got no signal' . . . did you get into a right old lather?

Jess: OH hahahahahahahah

Sadie: The question is, was the novelty soap in the shape of a mobile? If so that (still makes you tard) is totally understandable.

Jess: DUDE! It IS the same shape and size of my mobile, BUT, there, the similarity ends...the soap is multicolored greens and blue tropic island colours.....
JESSICA IS SO A TARD!
...and DUDE, rude message.

Sophie: Tropic island colours… hHAHAHAHAHAH ahahahaha AHAH

Jess: *SNRFF*

Dad: Got my hands dirty over the park today. Tried to wash them with mobile phone and water, silly me

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jess: OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
OH.MY.GODDDDDDDDDD!!!!! SOPHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU TOLD MARRRKKKKKK. LOOK. It could happen to ANYONE!

Sophie: Just off to the park now myself. I’m taking my bar of soap with me. Ohhhh no… I mean phone.

Jess: Look. It could happen to anyone... I'm gonna be hearing about this alot aren't I.

Me: I've never grabbed a novelty soap instead of my phone...

Jess: F**K off the lot of youuuuuuu. (Jessica is too sensitive for this world.) You lot are wan**rs. Big hairy to**ers.

Dad: Just had a shower to cool off, strange my bar of soap started to ring going to use my old brand in future

Jess: This isn't getting old is it.

Me: Have you ever used an iSoap? Really stings.

Jess: Oh Goddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Sophie: Good one! I have to snigger quietly because I can’t be bothered to tell people I’m still laughing at the soap.

Jess: I can SEE these emails you know…..The soap looks (exactly) nothing like a phone.