easin in gently

This year, our Christmas tree was the one my housemate, Mouse, had kept alive from last year. Yes, it had a few dead bare branches but he is a little survivor and it seemed mean leaving him out in the cold when his purpose was to also be Christmas tree 2011.

I packed away Christmas yesterday. Took down the Christmas cards, Christmas figures, threw out the holly… and repotted the tree back outside. When we bought our tree in I was told to do it in hourly stages so he could acclimatise to the inside. That seemed mental so we bought him, covered him in tinsel and hoped for the best. Putting him back outside I did think, hmm, this MAY send him into shock. Centrally heated house and whatnot. And then I thought nahhhh. And put him outside. Today was the most rainy day I have seen for a while.

A: Just pop down to the Co-op now.
Me: POP DOWN?! Have you looked outside?! I would need a frickin ark!

…. My tree may not make Christmas 2012.

On the upside, I tidied my garden. Me and Mouse, Mouse and I, spent a lot of time in the garden last Spring / Summer. Planted some lovely herbs, grew plants from seeds, seeded the lawn, grew and ate the most delicious tomatoes… unfortunately we live with Cat who is a hoarder. The full extent of what has been happening in our garden during these wintery, weathery months was only apparent when I decided it was definitely time to compost the tomato plants. I am pretty sure they were almost compost anyway…

We have a side passage to our garden. This is where our bins are kept. And, seemingly, Steptoes second yard.

Thing I found:

The massive plastic box of dog biscuits our elderly neighbour gave us as her dog did not like them. Funny that, what with them teaminggg with moths. She sprayed them with insect killer and passed them on to us…. And…. Cat kept them. Apparently she was too embarrassed to through them away in case the neighbour found out. I had no such problem. I then used the empty box to collect and store….
Many, many paint brushes, cans of paint (giving you some idea how big this box of moths biscuits was
At least 5 broken chairs
A bucket of wet sand and a pile of firewood
An old door
2 table tops; 1 marble, 1 plastic
An old picture in a frame with broken glass

I also found a MONSTROSITY. We used to have small green food / garden waste bins, until they were replaced with massive garden waste bins, which are much more useful. Cat has an allotment. When we had the little bin it was used for unwanted food. Mouldy food. Leftovers. Garden waste. Cat said she would take this bin to the allotment and empty it in the compost bin. This was a while ago. Enough time ago for the food in the bin to have liquefied and formed a whole new world. A world of the worst smell imaginable. A world of maggots. Rot. Mould. Once I had finished heaving, I took the bin down the mud track next to our house. Far enough away that I would not smell it on the breeze and fall down dead. I tipped that mother over and ran like the wind, heaving all the way home.

I could not look at Cat for a few hours. I had to go out for some wine.

I used to watch a programme called The Life of Grime. I would come in from the late shift at work, make dinner and that is what was on tv. Nigh on every time I would wonder why I put it on whilst eating. You wonder how these peoples lives, rooms, houses end up like that. I think it just builds. I think they store something in a place and fill it up. Get overwhelmed dealing with it so shut the room instead. It doesn’t help that they choose to go out with people who have similar hoarding habits. I am pretty sure her boyfriend encourages the hoarding. This is the difference between us. Mine encourage whoreing, hers encourages the collection of old pail handles from woods to make ‘tree ornaments.’

I am very aware that I have not written in this blog for ages. Which is a shame because I read some posts about my family and they still make me laugh remembering them. It has been a year and many things have happened. My nephew was born, possibly being the most awesome. But I need to ease back into this with the little things on my mind now. Like how I am going to manage to clear a scrap yard from my garden. Anyone for a game of scrapheap challenge?!