worthless monkey

My boss is a very busy man. This means that he finds it hard to remember names. So he will make one up for you. Not intentionally.

My friend Chris is Steve to him. This is because it is a derivative of his surname. I am so used to my boss, the good Dr, calling Chris Steve that I have begun to accidentally start calling him that myself:

From: Chris
To: Rosie
Subject: Oi!

Stop calling me Steve in front of all the new kids!

Before you know it they'll be as clueless as the Dr is about who Chris is!

Regards,

Steve

The Dr gets very stressed about work and during one of our, numerable, arguments he called me a worthless monkey and said a ten year old could do my job:

From: Rosie
To: Chris
Subject: RE: Oi!

You think you got problems - Dr thinks my name is worthless ten year old monkey. I’d settle for Steve any day.

Regards,
WTYOM

One of my jobs is to keep the office stocked with milk. Tea drinking is serious business here and God help you if there is no milk. GOD HELP YOU. Due to some office renovations the fridge housing the milk is now a long way from my desk. This means it is not so easy to check the milk status. Which means it runs out and the moaning, hair pulling and general weeping and wailing and rendering of garments will follow shortly. This morning I went to check the fridge and met Steve on his way back taking an unopened pint to the kitchen.

Me: Do you know how many cartons are left?
S: Er…no…I didn’t count
Me: Pffft

So I went to count. Then headed to the kitchen happy there was milk and I wouldn’t have to go to the shop.

Steve: So how many were there?
Me: 4. Or 3. Er… I think 3. Or 4. Lets say 3.5.
S: What! 4 or 3? You can’t count!! How many fingers am I holding up??

This email I received later, continuing from the earlier ones, made me laugh:

From: Chris
To: Rosie
Subject: RE: Oi!

Ten-year old?!

I was pretty sure it was more like a three or four year old monkey. Then again, three and four are such similar numbers I often struggle to differentiate between the two.

Counting is HARD!

Steve

Exchanges like this make me happy and I'm writing them here because I am getting very old and forgetful. Nothing to do with all the alcohol I drink AT ALL.