dreams

Me: Am applying to jobs like, PA to CEO of financial research company. Experience is like, able to write well, talk well, worked 1:1 before, worked in finance before. I'm all, YEP ALL OVER IT. THEN it's like, excellent powerpoint, word and excel skills. And I'm like... er.. go for it? Or forget? Because I can cobble together a powerpoint presentation (last attempted at uni) and can work on excel but am not sure am EXCELLENT at it. Thoughts?

Sadie: Go for it. You can always buy Powerpoint for home and brush up. Excel doesnt have that much in it to be skilled at.

Sophie: Go for it cos it takes about a minute to learn anyway. I lied and got lumbered with the whole excel thing and now sometimes when I have to write in English and I’ve spent the last 56465435465 hours in Excel I forget how to type normal words. I think they just say that b-locks in a app to cover their bases. You could be a parachuting medic and they’d put down ‘IT skills’ as something you should be good at.

Sadie: Laughing! Am going to check the very next parachuting medic cv I spot.

Me: Yeah. I've applied to them because am reasoning that I've got the other experience they are asking for and have the basics of excel and pp so can always get someone to show me if get job. Am trying to apply for nice sounding pa jobs, in media and whatnot. Why have i only got experience and am checking all the boxes for the financial pa roles?? HOW DID THIS ABOMINATION HAPPEN?

Sadie: I know! I wanted to be an archaeologist.

Sophie: I want to be a forensic scientist and I would have loved to be an archaeologist. And now I would quite like to be an ethnobotamist like the Grow Your Own Drugs dude.

Sadie: I spend my day talking in acronyms as in:
Is the feed into CRD direct from CTM? or is it CRD via ITR to CTM, and does CRD have a UAT environment because I have to report to the ITMT before I do a CC re the BONY change.
When my day is over, I often find myself thinking TTFON. Time To F* Off Now.

Sophie: Oh! We have that too. And sometimes I snigger because sometimes they are the same as real life things like BNP, SAS and sometimes they just are a bit wrong like FUC.

Me: I love those ones!! Mainly bcause Im all WHY HAS NOONE REALISED!!! Ironically, I HATE the one for the Harley Street breast clinic which is BAAPS. HATE.

Sadie: BAAPS was a huge mistake by someone.
We had FART (FMC Additional Reporting) and this was replaced by ARSE (Additional Reporting System Enterprise) Both names deliberately made up. Sadly, just before go-live they made us change ARSE to MARS.

Me: Just mean.