bad book review

Me: I just finished reading a book that was basically about this girls countdown to save her father. He was stuck in a container on a port and she had to travel across continents for keys and whatnot. It was great. She managed to get to him in the end with 7 minutes remaining. THEN he fell off the port into the water and died. Me - *..........*
Jessica. I need you to write and complain.

Jess: OH MY GOD!! that's just sooooooooo not right!!!! I'm onto the complaint now....
that ac/dc lot are very rude.... they just replied back....oh not fu**ing YOU again!!!! I shall now write to complain about THAT!!!!

Me: Man. They are So cheeky. I would send 2 complaints AT LEAST to that. And ask to speak to their manager.
That book! Oh. My. God. It was 341 pages long and he died on page 336.
The hottie has been moved to another site. He came and told me this morning. For some reason I never asked if he wanted to get a beer at lunchtime. Now I'm depressed. What the HELL is the point being here now? Work? God.

Jess: Oh dude........hottie moving...man that's not right.....bummer..... only hotties in my life is ones in my mind....dayum.

Me: Rubbish. Totally rubbish. I'm going to end up having to talk to the crazy cleaner at this rate.

Jess: Dude.....resist....

Me: Doubt it will be too hard. He just did some weird sideways star jump thing past my office window waving at me. Weird sideways star jump on weirdo.

Jess: I'm laughing here at 'weird sideways star jump' image funyyyyyyyyy

Me: It makes me jump when he does things like that. At least I can see him. When I cant, he is normally hiding in the womens toilet.

Jess: Smooooooooooth.

Sophie: Bummer about the book. so busy here that i dont have time to blink. tfi Friday!! And dont talk to crazies

Me: Oh well. Since I read it on the train and in work mainly I don't feel like there was anything more productive I could have done. I try not to talk to crazies. They seem to gravitate towards me. The only thing that stops them is if I walk with M.

Jess: ok...3rd time I got this email!

Me: You should write and complain

Jess: Good idea!!!! Hmmmmmmmmmm.....is injunction a bad word to keep throwing at me?

Me: Nah. Injunction and restraining order are how they show they have received your mail

Jess: Ok then!

Me: Text:
Ruth: Hey Ro. What you doing? I'm ill. At home watching tv. Dad is going on at me to do the dusting. HELLO?!
Me: When he comes home, arrange yourself so he finds you lying on the floor with dusters and Pledge strewn about. you can be all *weak voice* just give me a minute . . I'll try again. If you could also arrange a pile of puke that would add authenticity.
Ruth: He just hoovered round me!!!!!!

Jess: SNIGGER!!!!!!!!!

Me: Funny. Wish I were at home. Although not unwell.

Sophie: I think most shocking about this is ARWEL HOOVERING

Me: Yeah but he hoovered round her so not a very good job

Jess:THIS IS TRUE....and so obviously Arwell.