Monday, 7 July 2008

word

From: Rosie
To: Sophie

Can't believe she is getting married. Seems quite weird. Seriously cannot imagine it is going to last. Not that I know the guy, but still. She is so young and hasn't been with him for that long.


From: Sophie
To: Rosie

I dunno. Before I would have agreed but now I think you can just know it's gravy, like, 4eva. I hope that she feels that way anyway.


From: Rosie
To: Sophie

Did you just use the phrase 'gravy 4eva???' Whatttttt


From: Sophie
To: Rosie

I didn't just use it. I used it yesterday and you have to have the like in there.

Sunday, 6 July 2008

bbq

From: Michael
To: Alejandro; Charlotte; Rosie; M; Andy
Subject: bbq!

Hello all!
Very much looking forward to M's independence day happening very soon! So pleased you got another job!

On Saturday 12th July (come rain or shine), I am having a BBQ at my house and it would be great to have you over if you're going to be around...the company might not be great (haha!) but you know the food will be great!

Hope you can come...

Mike


From: Rosie
To: Michael; Alejandro; Charlotte; Martina; Andy
Subject: RE: bbq!

MIKE!

What's up dirty?

Me and M have been discussing whether bbq's and drinking with pals is something we enjoy. It was a very long discussion but in the main because M hijacked it to talk about shoes and torture techniques, as she is wont to do. Anyway, I said, M, do you want to come to this SHINDIG? And she said, will there be hot men? And IIII said NO. So SHEEE said, will there be alcohol? And that is why we are both coming.

Do you have a time for us?

Ro xxx


From: Michael

Ha!

Shoes, torture techniques and M in the same sentence...sounds painful.

Should be a good bbq - we're setting up a tent in our small garden and there will be food and drink abound. I will try and arrange some hot men for you both.

I think we're going to be starting late afternoon - probably around 5ish, but of course, you're welcome earlier. Although not too much earlier, we might run out of things to say to one another.

Ha! All good here - how are you going?


From: Rosie

Me and M talking about the reply I sent you:

M: I look like an alcoholic manhunter weirdo with a shoe fetish and practicing torture techniques :)
Me: That is your personal information statement right there

Anyway, after 5 is cool. Gives me time to groom. It is a long and desperate job. And also, to travel from zone sticks.

All good with me. I moved into my sexy new bachelor pad with my sister Soph and her boyf Matt. I am not sure about housemate choice though. Sophie 'just opened' the oven door and one hinge came out then Matt tried to fix it and it fell off. Hmmm.


From: Alejandro

I use my oven for storage


From: Rosie

How veryyyyy Carrie Bradshaw darling


From: Charlotte

Back on email and back in business....count me IN!!
xx


From: Andy

Hi Guys,
Sorry for late reply. I took a few days off. I will definately be there mate. I may not be on email today as there has been an errr...technical hitch i.e they havn't paid the bill for my software again!


From: Rosie

Heh. Oh dear . . .
Me and Lady M are meeting up beforehand at a pub by the station if you guys want to meet us there. M was all, I WANNA GET MY DRINKKKKKK ON. And I was all, DUDE, we are going to a party, there will be drink there. But she was all, I wanna be buzzzzzzinn beforrrre the party. Or something. I dunno. She was slurring her words a bit when we talked.

Saturday, 5 July 2008

dinner plans

From: Rosie
To: Matthew; Sophie
Subject: Dinner Plans

I called Ma. She says she vaguely remembers the dinner offer this evening. RUDE. Rearranged for them all to come over tomorrow evening then Lulu can stay over. Dad picking Jamie up tomorrow so should be back in London around 3. Hope that ok with you guys.


From: Matthew
To: Rosie; Sophie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Did you mention that they (all except one) would need to bring their own chair?


From: Sophie
To: Matthew; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Matt this is my favourite response to an email EVER xx
Ro, good organising.


From: Matthew
To: Sophie; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

We should have a fixed oven tomorrow so all good...or it could be broken even more so . . .


From: Sophie
To: Matthew; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

We have to take the door off the hinges again this evening. Think a quick hoover may be in order as well unfortunately. Mainly because 1 - all the crap fell out of the oven when the door came off and 2 - Ro walked it all in with her bare feet.


From: Matthew
To: Sophie; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Which members of your family are coming round tomorrow?


From: Rosie
To: Matthew; Sophie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Mum, Dad, Jamie and Lulu I think. Toby I'm thinking isn't but will check. So -

Sophie:
Meat
Strawberries

Rosie:
Salad stuff
Mayo

This ok? Additions?


From: Matthew
To: Rosie; Sophie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Seems like it's all under control then...it's gonna be pretty crowded but a little rearranging and it will work out fine.
I forgot I was gonna go cinema tomorrow... shall I do it another day?


From: Sophie
To: Matthew; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Up to you and Toby really. I'm not sure..


From: Matthew
To: Sophie; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Well I haven't arranged it yet so it's easy to leave it til next week or something


From: Sophie
To: Matthew; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Cool mo bruvva


From: Matthew
To: Sophie; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Recognise


From: Sophie
To: Matthew; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Heard


From: Rosie
To: Matthew; Sophie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

I will call ma tomorrow regarding keys and chairs.

Ok, well we'll stick to that shopping list I just sent. You get meat and strawberries and I'll get the salad and mayo. I don't know about eyescream. I think stick to a nice fruit salad.

Also, does Lol eat lamb chops?


From: Matthew
To: Sophie; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

One time


From: Sophie
To: Matthew; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

RESPECTA!


From: Rosie
To: Sophie; Matthew
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Laaaaaaaaame (bruvs)


From: Sophie
To: Rosie; Matthew
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans


Bare jealous


From: Sophie
To: Rosie; Matthew
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Yes but Jamie et possible moi et possible Hawk would not just want strawberries. We may have to set the living it up room into a diner all nice like cause will be too cramped in our kitchen


From: Matthew
To: Sophie; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Definately have to move things into the living room, impossible to have it any other way.
We'll pick up some ice cream because ice cream is awesome.

Gangsta love


From: Sophie
To: Matthew; Rosie
Subject: RE: Dinner Plans

Peace out

Friday, 4 July 2008

unclean

I always find a blob of conditioner on the top of my ear halfway through the day. How many people sit next to me on the train in the morning thinking I am diseased?

Thursday, 3 July 2008

wednesday and thursday

This morning, I got on the train, and there was this guy with his feet up on the seat opposite absolutely SNORING. I was like, jeez. WRONG CARRIAGE. But it wasn't. Because that man was a source of amusement from us all all the way until Leicester Square where he was jolted awake, scanned around, then leaped up and out the carriage. It was a lot of action for one who had been so heavily asleep.
Anyway, he SNOREDDDDDDDDD loudly the whole journey. Someone knocked his feet off the seat and sat opposite him and people sat next to him. FOOLS. Seriously. I NEVER would have sat next to him. He kept dropping his head onto the woman's shoulder next to him. It kept getting lower and lower. And everyone was staring at her, then him, then her. Until she got the TOTAL giggles and he woke up and shifted a bit. It was quite a gross sight though.

Last night I was requested to buy salad dressing on my way home to accompany (the delicious) dinner Matt cooked. When I got home I then had to go out again to get a salad to accompany the dressing.

Then we spent the evening sorting out CD's. Well, not so much mine as I only have about 10. Matt was very upset that his collection had to touch my Meatloaf and Sophie's Coldplay. SMICKLED MY CD'S WILL BE SMICKLED!!!!
I emptied 4 HUGE boxes and put them into piles of A B C etc. Then Matt would rearrange into alphabetical by 'A' ANDDDD chronological. Then Sophie shelved. We are going to have to fashion a sign that says 'if you do not know the chronological order of all of Audioslaves bajillion albums, you are not qualified to touch this shelf.' After a few glasses of wine it was muchos fun. I was challenging Matt as I went along. 'Which album has a picture of a dog balancing an apple on it's head?' Matt - "SNOT. Also, fun fact, the lead singer of that band was in a car crash and him and his dog both died." He answered every question I asked him and also threw in facts about every band and I tell you something, these rock people (or whatever they are) (SNOTTTT) have not lived lives of sunshine and roses. I had to tell him to stop giving me this information as it was really bringing me down.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

religion

"Girl's court fight to wear Sikh bangle"

A teenager is taking her school to court for not letting her wear a 'Kara' - a steel bracelet and symbol of her faith. The Kara is one of the five K's of Sikhism - the others being the Kesh (uncut hair), the Kanga (wooden shorts) and the Kirpan (sword). This article about it is pretty rubbish as that is only four K's but whatever.

My point is, she is not wearing wooden shorts in the picture of her wearing her school uniform. So. Picking and choosing there which K's she is following. I would say, wear the wooden shorts to school and you can wear the bracelet. Lets not mention the sword since loads of school kids would be turning to Sikhism if that were allowed to be carried into school.

Always these court battles, TO ME, seem to boil down to some teenager wanting to wear jewellery to school.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

furries

I just read THE FUNNIEST article in the Metro. It is in the Metrosexual section and is called 'Unleash your inner beast' by Lisa Scott. It is about these people who believe they are an animal inside a human body. They call themselves 'Furries.' There is a picture of people with those massive animal heads on. But then there is a guy who has made up his face instead and the quote says 'Marcony expresses his felinity with sophisticated makeup.' I tell you something. I spot him walking down the street and sophisticated ain't gonna be the first word I is gonna be thinking.

The lingo:

Yiff = Sex
Yiffing = Mating
Yiffy = Horny or sexual (mmmm I'm feelinggggg sexual) (ha ha ha ha ha)
Fur Pile = A group of furries lying on top of each other, trying to get comfortable (what? that is a long description. Maybe they would be more comfortable if they took those massive hot heads off).
Furvert = Anyone who is sexually attracted to mascots or someone in a fur suit
FurryMUCK = A chatroom KINGDOM where users pretend they're polar bears and red-tailed hawks (specific).