salmonesque

I was on the tube last night and it was RAMMED. I assume because all the trains were screwed. Anyway. I was sitting down and there was this black rasta oldish type guy standing in front of me. We pulled into the station and the old guy sitting down behind the BROT guy got up to get off. BROT guy was all 'ruuude, excuse you' and all this other crap. To the old guy that accidentally jostled him in a packed carriage. I was all, WHAT a dick. And planned to step on his toes in my heels. Accidentally. Anyway. This totally beefy muscled guy sits in the vacated seat and accidentally jostles BROT guy, who starts up again with 'oh! another one! so rude.' And all this other bullsht. I was all, c'mon fella, get up and lay the smack down!!! I mean, I am not one for pounding on the smaller but this guy deserves it! KAPOW! But beefy rugby guy apologises. Unbelievable. I am not even NEARLY describing what a JERK this BROT guy was being. All teeth kissing and what not. ANYWAY. The tube pulled into Finsbury Park a minute later and I got up and he did the whole RUDE routine on me. And I may have turned round and told him to fuck himself.

And then I leapt off the train like a salmon.