importance

Me: Sophieeee. I have really bad period pains. What should I do?

OtherSophie: Heatpad and sex

Me: Right. Not very helpful Soph. I'm at work.

OtherSophie: A Guinness!

Me: Seriously. Are you trying to get me fired?

OtherSophie: Ha. Ok. Just suggest some chocolate then! Last night I went to Chris's for dinner. Didn't get home until 1.30.

Me: Gosh. More exciting than my evening for sure. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned our little house until it sparkled because the landlady is coming over this morning to look at the damp and MOULD on the walls. Yes. Mould. DISGUSTINGGGGGG. MOULD!! THERE IS MOULD ON THE WALLS!! ARGH! IT IS GOING TO GET INTO MY LUNGS AND I WILL DIE A MOULDY DEATH!! Plus, it makes my clean washing and clothes smell. And no one wants that.

*Later*

Sophie: "Condensation differs from rising and penetrating damp in that it is caused by excessive moisture that cannot escape from a building rather than damp coming in. The first sign that condensation is a problem is when black pinpricks of mould appear on walls, ceilings and even furnishings. There is usually a musty smell present and clothes and shoes in cupboards can become covered in a white or green furry mould. Factors, which contribute to condensation, include not opening windows, drying washing inside or using unvented tumble dryers and inadequate heating, but the biggest cause of condensation is the use of portable calor gas heaters. If the cause of the condensation is not rectified the pin pricks of mould will grow and can eventually cover whole walls and ceilings and ruin clothes and decorations."

Me: 'Drying washing inside.' Basically, we need to do that open window locking thing. Not sure about the kitchen though. She needs to sort that wall out.

Sophie: I think it's a shady area. I.e. we are living normally but that is causing it. It's not our fault that we are living in a usual manner; washing, cooking, breathing moisture into the air. Apparently we are the worst case because we work all day allowing the house to cool and then the mould to spread.
My jumper today STINKS of mould but I can't take it off. I think we have to try and dry our washing outside at the weekends (apart from it is usually pissing down).

Me: So, landlord is liable, but it's a tenant fault. Eg, it is definitely because of you drying washing in your room and there being not enough ventilation, causing excessive condensation.

Sophie: Ok, have taken my jumper off but my dress smells too and I can't take that off!!! GROSS.

Me: Monica just called. She says that she has just finished looking at the mould and it is definitely condensation. 3 of us breathing + wet washing + washing etc etc. We just need to wash the mould off and then lock the windows so they are slightly open when we leave for work to get some ventilation going. Or I guess leaving the bathroom light on WHEN I AM NOT THERE will keep the fan running and help, too.
The damp in the kitchen is not condensation. She thinks it is seeping through from the stairs up to Janet's and is going to get a company in to have a look at it. So, even though she just confirmed what we thought about the mould (it's there because of the wet washing and no open windows) she is glad we pointed out the kitchen problem. She was really nice, said sorry about it all and hopes we can deal with it.

Sophie: Plus, on the website, it suggested a dehumidifier, which we have. Did you tell her that? I'm up for the window thing. I don't know if others can smell me or if it's just making me want to vom and no one else can smell it. Paranoia. Basically we have to open the bathroom window whenever we wash and close the door so that it only escapes out the window, leave the light on, leave the windows open-locked and leave our washing til the weekend when we can hang it outside. I need to wash my wardrobe because mould has seeped in.

Me:Um. I think only you can smell it. Because I HATE that smell and whenever I've asked you if you can smell it on me, you say no. And I've asked M and other people in the pub before because I've been paranoid about it and they have all said no, too. We just need to have a demould spring clean and leave the windows 'open.'

Matt: Are we having spaghetti for dinner tonight?

Sophie: Wow.

Matt: Wow what?

Sophie: Wow we just had 10 emails about mould and you replied about spaghetti.
Do you think Monica liked the house how we have it?

Me: How could she not? The colour scheme is a work of art.

Sophie: She didn't comment? Not even on the state of our curtains?

Me: No. I guess she was more focussed on the mould than the fact you shrunk her curtains in the wash, mine are ripped to shreds by the cat, both of us bent our poles hanging up washing ... I mean, the mould is pretty spectacular