random bananas

I can totally support someone who says they love napping or 'napsies.' Hah.


I went to see a place to rent with Sophs. When we got there the landlady showed us around. One bedroom is huge and the other is a single. The landlady was like, you can't put a double bed in here because i'll have to move some of the stuff out and I have no room for it.

Me:
But where am I going to put all the men I bring home?

Then she told us she was being very picky with who she let rent.

Her:
Not being funny but I am only considering English people. I'm not racist but foreigners are over there and I am here.

Sophie:
My boyfriend is Nigerian.


Another awesome article in the paper recently. I wanna go:

Sugar plump fairies - the super-sized Russian ballerinas
by SARAH CHALMERS
5th February 2007

Thundering onto stage, their size-22 costumes straining at the seams, this troupe of outsized dancers are, quite literally, the biggest ballet stars you are ever likely to see.

They may lack the finesse of Margot Fonteyn or the elegance of Darcey Bussell, but these hefty divas (average weight 20 stone) are on a mission to turn the dance world on its head. And woe betide anyone who stands in their way.

See more pictures of the big ballerinas

They are the stars of The Big Ballet - a unique Russian dance troupe who are about to embark on their first UK tour.

Founded in 1994 by renowned choreographer Evgeny Panfilov, the company's aim is to challenge modern conceptions of grace and nimbleness.

Panfilov, who had built up an impressive reputation leading regular dance troupes, wanted to show that skinny people do not have a monopoly on dancing - and to prove that untrained beginners can be turned into professionals.

Initially, he advertised for teenagers weighing more than 12 stone to audition. But demand for places in the extraordinary troupe is now so high that the weight threshold has been raised to over 17 stone.

In a direct reversal of the slimming-obsessed world of mainstream ballet, any of these girls falling below the recommended minimum weight is offered the chance to regain the extra pounds with the help of a nutritionist.

If they do not, they must relinquish their place for another, larger dancer.

Today, the troupe consists of 16 large women aged between 19 and 28, and six regular-sized male dancers.

But while the leading ladies may be large, they are also surprisingly agile.

"They're really very fit and supple, there's no breathlessness and there are medics on hand to make sure no one is straining their heart or joints," says UK tour publicist Dion Clements.

Along with pirouettes and plies, the dancers even manage the splits - "surprisingly easy to do when you have 120 kilos of down-force", says leading lady Tayana Gladkaya.

In some performances, they are even lifted by the male dancers - although it should be noted that it takes four men to get one woman aloft.

During practice, the dancers use exercise machines to keep themselves supple and their costumes have to be customised to each dancer's measurements (averaging 47-39-47).

Other than that, they say they perform and train as any traditional troupe would.

For their UK tour, they will be performing a parody of traditional excerpts from The Nutcracker and Swan Lake, together with more modern routines set to hits including

Tom Jones's Sex Bomb and the Pet Shop Boys' hit Go West.

None of the members takes themselves too seriously and part of the aim is to make the audience laugh.

But despite the light-hearted approach, there is a serious message.

In an age when anorexia is being diagnosed in ever-younger children and Hollywood is obsessed with the size zero, The Big Ballet gives inspiration to those whose body shapes will never conform to the stick-thin images usually seen on stage and screen.

One member, Katya Yurkowa, says: "From childhood, all of us were large and often taunted as children. I've always loved to dance, so Big Ballet was a great opportunity for me.

"It's hard being teased your whole life then finding the confidence to go on stage and perform in front of so many people, but now I have it and I am so happy.

"We hope we are helping to change the public perception about larger people and encourage big children to take part in sport and dance."

So far, the company have received rave reviews, won over their audiences and even impressed fellow professionals.

"Other regular troupes appreciate the work they put in and how technically difficult some of their performances are," says Dion Clements.

The UK tour, which begins at the end of the month, will see the company give 30 performances at 27 venues across the country. The Big Ballet, it seems, is on a roll.

• For more information visit www.thebigballet.co.uk