fancy pants and balls

My pal Steve had a jungle themed fancy dress party to celebrate his leaving to cycle round Africa for 5 months. Possibly my favourite part of it all was going to a fancy dress shop with Mike.

Emails with M:

Me: I am meeting Mike at the station at 6 to go to a fancy dress shop down the road. It'd be cool if you came on Friday but I know the thought of it is so much effort. Claires Accessories is always going to have a jaguar mask even if you change your mind at the last minute I can get it for you. I don't know why I am being so perky about it. I am normally the first to be so lazy.

M: Say hi to Mike from me! That's cool you'll see him :) What is he going to be at the party? A bannana? Hmmm, maybe a caveman... then I will be tempted ;)

Me: He is going to be a jungle man and pretty naked. True Story. The boy is not scared of showing his butt.

M: Ok, then give him at least two kisses on his sweet cheeks and have fun :)

Next Day

M: Good morning. How was last night? Did you have a good time with Mike? And did you see him in his jungleman outfit? :)

Me: Last night was very funny. We walked to the fancy dress shop and it was like something out of a horror film. You had to ring a bell to get in and the animal stuff was way down in the basement and I made Mike go ahead of me. It was all damp and dreary and I swear the masks were covered in real hair. Real PUBIC hair. Also, Mike kept saying '£10??? For a spear?? I could make that out of a twig!' So I was convinced we were going to get murdered and turned into masks.

Also there was this guy dressed up as a Musketeer because he was going to a fancy dress skiing party in France. He was asking me and Mikes opinion on whether he looekd ok and could fit his ski clothes on underneath when crazy shop owner said: 'Well, there is no snow in Switzerland.' We all just looked at her. The Musketeer said: 'Isn't there? Well. I am going to France.'
Crazy shop owner: Yep. No snow in Switzerland. None
Musketeer: Um...isn't there?
CSO: No. And people are going there to ski and there is no snow, None.
Musketeer: Well, that must be disappointing.

This exchange went on FOR AGES. I couldn't look at Mike. In the end I cracked and was all, 'WELL ITS LUCKY HE IS GOING TO FRANCE THEN' which shut her up but Mike lost it a bit and went to study some masks very closely.

Anyway, it was all very weird but I bought a monkey hat thing and mike got some face paint. Then we needed a beer after the trauma of it all.


Random extracts:

M: All the same at this battle field (I would like it much better if it is bottlefield, hmmm)

Me: (to Andy after his old football team asked if he could be goalie for them) Hope football was ok on Saturday and you didn't let any of them balls behind you. I think that's bad. . .
Andy: When playing football it's just as important not to get any balls in the face. I hope you have never had this problem when playing.........