Slovakia

M:
Thinking about the first Monday in May... What are you doing? Hmmmm? Can you already take some days off? One or two?

Me:
I can take time off already I think..... Are you thinking it is time I braved your home town? Lets chat over dinner tonight.

Next Day

M:
I'm soo exhausted! I am tired like a camel! I just made up this expression :) How are you? Was great to see you and finally I'm not going to mix up sashimi and nigiri.
Listen! We didn't discuss the trip to slovakia! If you are not too scared, we can plan it around that May bank holiday weekend, hmm? :)

Me:
I am not at all scared about Slovakia and am really looking forward to it!!! Can't wait for a holiday!!! I am totally happy to plan it around May day.

M:
I will have a look at flight over the weekend and we can book them asap, cool!

Some days later . . .

M:
We are off to Slovakia in two weeks from Thursday! I better start planning our days there :) Any special requirements?
Thinking of my packing - three t-shirts, clean pair of socks and panties :) I have some ideas already where to take you around so let's hope the weather is all good and it won't be miserable to stay out all the time! To start with, check this website: Trnava - I admit it's little bit boring to read all that stuff but the other site wrote that there's not too much to see in Trnava :)

Me:
I see in your packing you have not included any trousers. Is Slovakia a pant free zone?

M:
I will have one pair of trousers on, that should be enough and maybe take one skirt with me (I still have loads of clothes at my parents also) but feel free to think it's a pant free zone and don't pack any ;) I went through the site I sent you - I laughed at 'Trnava Organ Days.' Hahahah, thank God the event doesn't take place until August!!

Me:
I laughed at 'Organ Days' too. Totally rebooking our flight for then.

M:
'Love Days' sound interesting! I guess I will reconsider moving back :) I think my niece will love meeting you. I am teaching her English. You can teach her some as I'm still not very good in English songs and poetry... otherwise, she knows it all, so she's ready to meet you and have a meaningful conversation about life and stuff ;)

Me:
OMG. Going to have to start thinking up songs to sing her. What about Meatloaf? HA HA. Don't think it will be a very meaningful conversation. She probably knows more about the world than me. I'll be the one going: 'so there's this boy I like but I don't know if he likes me..' and she'll be all: 'are you, like, 5?'

M:
I'm not sure about Meatloaf songs unless rock ballads. Otherwise anything about animals or princesses (we passed that vocabulary already) and then she can have a proper British conversation about weather ;) Regarding the boy and girl stuff, she can teach us both probably! And then the younger one will tell you 'ham' as it's the only word she knows, so you can teach her 'egg'.

Me:
Ham and eggs? I see she has all her priorities covered.

M:
I talked to my mom this morning, they are looking forward to meeting you but don't expect any English from them :) She already asked me how shall she prepare the rooms... as my brother will be around, I hope you don't mind sharing the room with me! I will behave! Not like BC ;)

Me:
I am looking forward to meeting your parents!! You are going to spend your whole time translating though! I do not mind sharing a room with you - good to hear you will behave. I sleep naked. Thats cool though, right?

M:
I don't mind translating, even though sometimes you don't need any translation especially with my father (he uses international body language gestures: drink, eat, good, big... etc. :) Hmmm, I'm concerned now about sharing a room (BC was dead even after two days!)

Me:
Heh. Don't worry. Whilst you are my favourite Slovakian, you are not my type of man.


In other news:

Primary School Children Writing About The Sea


1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.(Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head.(Billy age 8)

6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Brian age 33)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny (Julie age 7).