Because everyone, even kittehs, need a bosom for a pillow

Iz FACT


Talking of boobies. Or something:

Me: Had to listen to Sophie and Matt arguing over whether, in prison, the top dog sticks a spoon up his bitches butt to show dominance. Or something. Matt was on the side of this being an absolute TRUTH and his brothers girlfriends brother is a prison officer and has SEEN IT HAPPEN. Sophie was on the side of YOU ARE MENTAL THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN. I was on the side of, ladle or teaspoon? (Tablespoon was, I believe, the 'correct' answer).

Sadie: Oh my goodness.

Sophie: I know.

Me: That is an example of the conversations in our house. None of us wanted to Google it and confirm.

Sadie: Laughing at 'noooooo' to Googling!

Me: Corinne stayed over last night. He tried to embroil her in the debate on spooning. I heard: "No no no no no no! Why are you telling me this??? Spooning is when two people who love each other are snuggling in bed! No no no no. Stop talking!" So I now think it is 3:1. Or I guess 3:3 if we are allowing the original instigators of this (his brother and his brothers girlfriend) to join in. This can be the question we ask anyone that comes over: "Fact or fiction? When in prison . . "


Things that are awesome:

Me: H, I have just realised that I have not sent you an updated leave form and I have taken about 4 days off since I last sent it
H: Rosie. This does not come under things that are important.
Me: Really? Well. Forget I said anything
H: Forgotten.

Being able to leave at 3 yesterday because the internet went down.


Things that are not awesome:

Leaving at 3 and getting home before Sophie and Matt, thereby being the one that has to face the hallway slug slaughter scene.

Your kitten being affectionate and you having to touch him and be affectionate back because he doesn't know that slug slaughter scenes are BAD

Having to touch your kitten whilst wondering if he is covered in slug.


Matt got home a bit later, pretty much just as I had finished cleaning up the slug slaughter, and started asking all these hideous questions about what the slugs looked like. Me: It was more a get rid of them as soon as possible without retching maneuver. I didn't stop to study.

Jess: Laughing! Clyde is so funny, he's gonna get funnier too!

Me: He won't get funnier if he keeps leaving half dead slugs in the house because I will have to kill him and put him in a stew.

Jess: A STEWWWWWWWWW? Cover your ears Cldye baby!!!

Me: Don't worry, I think the meat would be too tough. BA BOOM. Thanks. I'm here all night, try the veal.

Jess: Laughing! SO SILLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY