Cats, meat, men on trains

Me: Nearly had another smack down on the train last night but was restrained. Stupid football supporters. Have only just got. "We've goh-ot the beh-est team/in the land" sung to He's got the whole world in his hands tune out of my head.Though I did say: THAT is patently untrue. (Living with Matt means I know who is top of the league and it ain't Arsenal) although I said it under my breath because these guys were VAIR VAIR drunk and I did not want them all up in my face with their stinking beer breath.

One girl, I think she was about 15, got caught up in their group so she moved down the seated bit to get away. I was sitting at the beginning of the seated bit and she moved a little past me. One of the guys noticed and tried to talk to her. All "Nothing WRONG wiv us SINGING luv... OI . . Hey..." etc trying to get her attention. Then he tried to get down the carriage to speak to her so...um... I might not be brave enough to say something but boy am I brave enough to stick my leg out. Felt a bit sorry for the guy he crashed into though but it did distract him. The girl sat next to me and said thanks. I was like, no probs. All over tripping the drunks. Then they tried talking to us again and I gave them icy glare number 39 (reckon I gots about 78) and they gave up.

THEN I bought some steak on the way home and Matt cooked it and it was delicious. That is what we do when Sophie goes out. Get a BIG BIT OF MEAT for dinner.

Jess: So funny!!!!!!!!!!! Really laughed at vair vair and we get meat!

Me: Boy were they EVER drunk. This guy could not even TALK because he was slurring so bad. Another guy was giving some speech about how he "WORKS HARD ALL WEEK" and is just "CUTTING LOOSE" today to support "THE BEST TEAM IN THE LAND" and gradually changing the lyrics to: IVE GOT THE WHOOOOOLE WORRRRRLD ON MY DICKKKKK" (Me: Again, I bet that is untrue.)

Summary of last night -
Me: Whoa, look at the size of that steak!
Matt: WHOA. You want that bit?
Me: No. Dude. I like the meat but that is a cow dude. You have it.
Matt: Thanks! I really feel we're bonding.

Sophie: Matt this morning: "Oh, hey Clyde. That's right, I run around after you all morning and you just sit there licking yourself."

Me: Last night - Me: Do you want me to cut an onion up for your new potatoes Matt?
Matt: I will never say no to onion. I tried to eat one like an apple once because I saw someone on tv do it as a joke. But I wasn't doing it as a joke.

Sophie: Matt's raw onion consumption is the bane of my life. It just reeks.

Jess: Dear God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Matt!!!!!!! Dude!!!!!!!!! Funny cat!! Heard a noise at 1am, woke up and saw my cat sitting outside. On my bedroom window ledge. Yikes!!!

Sadie: Rosie - Really laughing! Well done you. Specially laughed at glare no 39!Jess - Goodness!!! How did she get up there, I don't understand????

Jess: She jumped on the chair, then onto the sill then went out the open window!!! I was terrified she'd fall off the ledge!!! Jesus all I wanted to do was kip!!! She was a naughty minx last night, running up and down my bed, going out the window, speed diving off the bed to rip the carpet up... I told her I was going to have to have a word with her tonight when I get in...

Me: Oh it is so much worse at 5am. Also, Clyde has learnt a new trick. Before, you could just hide your extremities under the covers. NOW he has learnt he can stick his pokey paw under there and get you. Stupid cat. Sadie - that was the cowardly way of handling it. Or, as I like to think, the TACTFUL way. "Oh. Whoops. Did I trip you? Was just crossing my legs and accidentally caught you in the back of the knee (the sweet spot)."
Everyone has a list of glares. Glares at people who walk SLOWLY down the platform even though the train is approaching and I want to get to the end and into an empty carriage. Glares at people trying to hurry you when you are packing your bags in a shop . . . actually that one I get in arguments about. It takes me less than a minute to pack my bags, pay and put my wallet away. When the cashier starts serving someone else or the person behind me starts rushing me I get so mad man. RUDE. I guess it really does not help that I have a tolerance level of approximately 20% and YOU BETTER BE DISADVANTAGED IN SOME WAY.

Sophie: I had to shut the door on Clyde at 5. I could here him skidding about happily in the hallway but I just couldn't cope with his antics in my room. Needed sleep.

Sadie: Laughing. I had a pop at the man in the wheelchair in Budgens. He avoids eye contact with me now. Even the disabled will feel my wrath.

Me: HAHA. What did he do? Also, Sophie will not say anything about it being bad to disrespect the disabled as Matt says she pushes the old ladies out the way so she can board the bus first.

Sadie: He wouldn't get out the way for me to pack my bag. Started sorting out his keys and shit. I wasn't even the next one behind him. Another woman had had to pack her bags round him. So I told him to move the shit along.

Sophie: Oh God no. I hate disgusting ones. I heaved at one yesterday on the way home and Matt made us walk faster. I can just tell when they are going to smell. The smell makes me heave immediately and I can't help it. I know that most dreadlocked men will make me heave because they generally are smokers and a bit unclean hippie smelly. Any stale wee. Any gurning no teethers. The other day I was in Nero and an AUBURN hair came out of my mouth it was in my tea mug and gag gag I am actually retching right now as I think about it.

Sadie: Laughing lots, but poor you! Gross to hairy tea.

Jess: Oh dude ginger hair........ Absolute sympathy......