cat fan club

Jess: I'm tired today.....Izzy was hungry and kept waking me up til eventually at 1am I fed her.... Then I couldn't sleep, but neither could she. She was even awake when I left at 6am. Bloody isn't now though.

Me: ARR! Cute! She has fallen asleep on her nose!
Matt cooked a delicious dinner last night. Anchovy stuffed lamb with rosemary and potato. Boy is pretty nifty in the kitchen.

Jess: I know! Love that photo! Blimey!! Posh grub!!!! I'm in awe!!!

Sophie: It looked like restaurant food. It was all neat and there were sprigs of thyme garnishing. My food is usually stuff that you bung in a bowl - pasta, curry, casserole...

Jess: I've NEVER cooked anything posh, I'm well impressed... I could eat that now...stupid croissant.... Picnic in Regents Park tomorrow for Ally's birthday!!! Slight-ly worried about weather prospects.

Sophie: Well, if the weather is poo you'll just have to have a picnic in a pub.

Me: Lovely to picnic tomorrow. Hopefully the weather is lovely otherwise I second Sophie's suggestion of pub picnic. Matts dinner was well impressive. Yum. Meat. He can cook dead beast really well.
I just got a text from M saying: "I can meet you for lunch today if you like. Unless it is raining in which case I am not leaving the office." So. That's nice.
Sweet to Izzy. How does she tell you she is hungry? Does she try and rip your arm off? Or is that JUST OUR CAT? Seriously. He is a fat pig. Matt fed him at 7. I gave him chicken at 9 and at 5 he was telling me he was going to pass out from the hunger. I was all, well. You should conserve some energy and lay down then shouldn't you? BUT he DID NOT. What is worse is that if you go to the toilet in the night, say 3am, he gets all excited that he is going to be fed. And he has biscuits down. I don't think any cat eats those biscuits. Clyde just flicks them across the floor like the most annoying game of tiddlywinks ever.

ALLO, IS IT FUD TIME YET? NOW? NOW? NOW?



Sadie: Laughing! Cant blame Clyde for lovin' his food considering his role models!

Jess: Bloody laughed out loud at M!!!! And cat story!!! And dead beast cookery!

Me: I love my relationship with M. I love that we both say stuff like that that you might not say to someone else for fear of offending them. I told her I was on a diet and SHE said:

Rosie. Some people are just meant to be fat.
Me: Right. Thanks. But . . I still think I could lose a couple of stone
M: If *I* lost a couple of stone I would be dead
Me: Well. Thanks for that.

But it means when she tells you you look nice, she is telling the truth. Not trying to make you feel better. We were looking at some photos and there is one of me and this guy we used to work with. The photos has been taken from the most horrible angle and my stomach is huge in it.

M: ARRRR this is a LOVELY photo!
Me: Er, no, look at my stomach!
M: Well yeah but what can you do about that? You still look nice.
Me: On the one end, your a poo head for not saying I don't know WHAT you are talking about. On the other, thanks.
M: Did you just call me a poo head?

Jess: Laughing!!!!!!!!! She is funny!!!

Sadie: Ha. Laughing! Also, Jess, Ally and I dont stand a snowflakes chance in hell of having a dry picnic tomorrow. I want toast now.

Jess: Laughing!!! EX-AC-TL-EEEE!!! I have a ground sheet. It's an old shower curtain, but it would make ground dry. Forecast is sun and showers, and we'll have brollys and coats!! It will be funny. I really want to get some pretty bits to brighten the picnic up.

Sadie: Thats a good idea. It'll be dry enough. We can always eat and then, if the hail gets too much to take, move to a pub later.

Jess: Absolutely!!! How can we make it silly looking?

Sophie: You lot being there should be enough.

Jess: RUUUUUUUUUUDE!

Me: Laughing. That definitely sounds like an English picnic. What are pretty bits re: a picnic? Because all I'm thinking is me or fairycakes.

Jess: Laughing!!!! Yes Ro, def you would qualify!!!

Sophie: Lulu finds out which college she is going to by midday. With Lolly you just have to hope that one day her levels of crazy will be called 'creative genius' and she can make some kind of money from it. Although I have a feeling she will always be just completely nuts. I wish I was doing something arty like her.

Sadie: YOU wish you were doing something arty??! I spent all yesterday trying to come up with a process to open up 2,493 csv files, extract specific bits of data from each file, load the data into excel, reformat it, copy other specific bits of data, and dump it into another application with a date attached. Apparently this has to be done by end of next week because someone somewhere has messed up. Hmmmphhh. I wish I was a sculptor.

Me: *Sigh* None of us seem to be doing what we want. I want to go be The Stig on Top Gear.

Jess: Oh oh funny dude!!!!! I could see you as a bad ass driver on top gear. And you are arty! All of you!!! Not sure about Rosie.

Me: RUDENESS! I got a FIRST in photography at uni. Shame it was only a module. And a C in Art. Which was good because I never did anything in art. Our table was riotous. Example -

Mr George: That is IT! If I hear another word from anyone they are DISQUALIFIED from this exam.
*2 seconds later*
Sarah: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M BLINDDDDD IM BLINDDDDDDD I GOT GUTTER IN MY EYEEE OH MY GODDD I'M.. oh. Wait. I'm ok. Phew.
*Talking resumes*

Jess: OH LAUGHING!!!!!!!! FUNNY!!!

Me: It was pretty much mayhem after that happened. She made me laugh so much I was nearly sick. I still drink with Sarah and do impressions of it. Also -

*Nicki walks in*

Mr G: NICKI!!!! Where have you been???? This is your GCSE art exam!
N: Is it? Well. Noone told me.
Mr G: WHAT?
N: Oh well. Someone pass me some paints.
Mr G: N, I think you are going to have to stay behind to make up the time.
N: OH I DON'T THINK SO SUNSHINE
Mr G: I am NOT your SUNSHINE

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. God. HAHAHAHAH. All day me and Jenna were all:
Can you get me a bag of crisps sunshine?
I am not your sunshiiiiiine!

Jess: Hilarious!!!!!

Me: Oh. My. God. Hot engineer air conditioner fixer guy just came over to talk to S (obviously given up on talking to me) and I am not wearing any makeup! Shouldn't say that really though as I once had an argument with someone I used to work with. She was one of the many assistants, only about 21 and never wore makeup. Once she said to me that she doesn't know why women wear it and bla bla feminism bla bla I am only wearing it to impress MEN bla bla. Me: I do not wear makeup because I feel I have to wear makeup. I don't think I am a total dog without it. I just believe in putting your best foot forward. I know my skin looks better with foundation. And I know my eyes look better with liner and mascara. I impress the men by dipping like a bobcat and bending like a pretzel. Her:" . . . ." Later that day someone on her team said something like omg that was amazing she has not shut up lecturing us about dressing etc for the MAN and bla bla and this is the first time she has not said anything.

I think this is why I couldn't go back to school etc. There comes a point in your life where you don't need to justify what music you like or anything else about who you are. Which leads to a conversation I just had with S where I told him Top Gear is my dream job because I could drive cars and be with Jeremy Clarkson. S: "Have you been smoking crack?"

Sadie: Nothing wrong with dressing for a man. That's how you get sex. What's the issue?

Me: I thought undressing for a man was how you got sex?

Sadie: Fair point, well made.

Me: S is also wandering around in his socks because, as mentioned before, it helps him think better. He says to me: "I should be lucky he has still got his pants on." Oh. Right. Well when you put it like that. He just called me from across the office to tell me that my concerns regarding the milk situation are "ungrounded" as we are now down to the last 2 pints. This is because I had a go at him for telling me we need more milk because we had none left when there was already 3 pints in the fridge and the 2 I bought were going to go out of date before they could be drunk. He admits to being a little panicked about not having his daily lattes. He also said I was 'sick' as I answered the phone to him with: 'Good morning, Meatloaf fanclub.' Anywayyyy, HOME TIME!!!