70's hostess

Me: Alriiiiight?! At work today after a lover-leeee long weekend. Have obviously come in and simply DIVED into the work and. . . eh. I have spent the morning reading your emails. 48! Nice one kids! I would like to comment on a couple of points.

1 - Sadie. I do not know what you are talking about when you say I have had my fair share of embarrassments already. I do not own a Dennis Waterman album.

2 - Sophie. The nursery all have to wear yellow shirts???? HAHA. Laughing at "one size fits all". Idiots.

3 - Jess. Laughing at Izzy keeping you awake. That is why cats are so cute. Because otherwise you would not allow it. Clyde was bugging me this morning. And it is really disquieting that he purrs whilst attacking. I also do not like that when I put my extremities under the cover he still roots around with his little paw. What is he? Some kind of genius cat? (HA, NO). I spent yesterday afternoon at home. I was like, cool. Can see what he gets up to. In the main, sleeping. Sleeping and then manic running down the hall and through the cat flap. And vice versa. Continually. Whilst one is trying to nap.

In other news. The weekend was awesome and the weather was amazing! Went to the Tate on Friday with Lulu and then the Thames Festival on Saturday with Sophie and Matt and M. And Sunday was Enfield and then me and Lol saw Mama Mia at the cinema and it was hilarious. Mainly because me and Lulu are easily amused.

Sophie: Clyde was so relentlessly annoying this morning. I shut him out and woke up to find him frolicking with my bra. He must have pushed the door open. I took that off him, listened to him crashing about for ages, took my earphones out of his mouth, listened to him crashing about some more and then my alarm went off. Then I underdressed and went out in the cold. Waited for a bus for 25 mins and the next one for 20.It's ok now because I have had tea and Readybrek and feeling a bit warmer. Not warmer to mankind. Just warmer internally.

Me: I'd love some Readybrek man. Clyde licked my face this morning. It was more gross than cute. Also, why are his paws ALWAYS wet? Actually, don't answer that. Yesterday whilst I was napping he was batting something across the floor. I woke up and was like, what the heck is that? Oh. Glass. OF COURSE IT IS. And it wasn't even glass from our house. He bought it in from outside. Glass. Glass in his mouth. Glass as cat toy. OH HAI MORE VET BILLS! HOW ARE YOU?

Sadie: OOOPS to glass. He obviously likes the shiny sparklies. Hmmm, playing with glass earrings and bras, I think I see a
pattern. You have a transvestite cat.

Me: HA. He is half cat, half magpie, wholly insane.

Sophie: He ate cocktail sticks and pineapple last night

Sadie: So, half cat, half magpie, half 70's hostess.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAH. Though I won't be laughing soon. I have a tenants meeting at 11. NL just sent out an email saying she cannot attend. What a cow. She said she was too scared to sit near me incase she caught my eye and started laughing.

Me: R, there is a tenants meeting this morning. Do you have any issues you would like me to bring up?
R: The colour of that bloody carpet. I mean, what the heck?
M: N is WELL mad about that carpet. She says that the only reason they chose this building for their office was because of the previous blue carpet.
R: Just for the carpet? There must have been another reason...
M: Nope. This is how seriously the tenants take the carpet.

Sadie: In our building - newly built for us - they chose beautiful grey stone for the main walkways, reception etc. What
they didn't appreciate is that the stone is porous and absorbs everything thrown on it - coffee, tea, milk, vomit, ink, pitch tar etc. Many hours of research into cleaning fluids and they still haven't found anything that properly cleans it. I did laugh.
Had goats milk mixed with a little coconut milk for my breakfast. Now THAT'S delicious.
My new TV came yesterday. It spent 9 hours glaring malevolently at me from inside its cardboard box before I gave up and installed it. It is not as easy as you think removing on your own a 5 stone TV off the table, attaching the stand to the new 3 foot wide TV and setting it up. The instructions says it requires 2 people. Pah to that. All done now and it's properly connected to the cable box and the DVD recorder, which I thought would be a nightmare.

Sophie: Very impressive! Don't think I could face goat and coconut milk for brekkie.

*Later*

Me: The tenants meeting was crazy awesome! Ha! I'm lying. The high points was the scuffed walls, the ugly carpet, the damaged chair and the dirty outside steps. OH!! I am so lying! The high point was M saying that there was no ventilation in the upstairs toilets and smell was an issue!!! I will admit it. I snorted.

Sadie: Smelly toilets are no laughing matter. Not when you have to spend 20 minutes in there putting your make up on, it's a disgrace I say.

Me: Laughing! I put my makeup on at my desk. Our toilets have no windows either but they never smell. "We don't even have AN AIRRRRR FRESHENER!!!"

Sophie: Drowning out work with some very loud Foo Fighters in my ears. Having to use Ro's earphones that she gave to Hawk because Clyde ate my (expensive Sony ones) this morning.

Jess: Dude


Also,

Living with my sister and her boyfriend could have gone hideously wrong and yet, it doesn't seem to have. I can't remember any arguments, or at least none that have been serious and not totally forgotten by cooking dinner or making cups of tea. In fact, we all seem to get on pretty well. Matt scrubs mould off of the bathroom ceiling, Sophie cooks dinner:

Sophie: What are you cooking me for dinner tonight?
Me: Well, the meatballs are defrosted and in the fridge . . .
Sophie: Ok, shall I cook those then?
Me: HAHA. Yes.
Sophie: Wait. What just happened? Am I cooking? Did I just volunteer?

And I . . . holy crap. I can't think. Buy hot water bottles?

The only example of an argument I can think of is:

Sophie: *In the bathroom, showering*

Clyde: *Runs in through the cat flap and to his dinner bowl*

Matt: HEY CLYDE!!! YOU'RE IN!! HI!!

Sophie: What?

Matt: Was just saying Clyde is in

Sophie: What?????? I can't hearrrrr you

Matt: CLYYYYDES INNNNNNN

Sophie: WHAT??? I can't HEARRRR you because I'm in the BATHROOOOOOOOOOOM

Me: JESUS CHRIST SHUT UPPPPPPP

Sophie: WHAT? *Comes out the bathroom*

Me: Blood-eeeeeee Hell. He wasn't even speaking to you, he was speaking to the cat.

Sophie: Oh.

Matt: I can't hearrrrrrr you

Me: I'm in the bathroooooooooooooooom

Sophie: Shut up! You two are MEAN.