black marks

To: Andy

Dude,

I just met the Lady for lunch (me - sandwich, her - the neck of a Texan). She wants to know if there are going to be drinks on Friday as she 'misses the Guns.' I told her to email and/or text you but she gave me a Scary Look and so I am doing it (not many people see the Scary Look and live to tell the tale/do not turn to stone). So. Are there? I am giving you advance notice.

Also. It has taken me 32 minutes to write this as people keep distracting me with work related matters. I don't know why. It is
vair vair irritating.

Rosie

P.s. What is the gossip?


From: Andy

Dude.

We have been working out extra hard at the Gun Squad to try and fill the void of not having Lady M and the gossip queen around these days. We are hoping that "feeling the burrrrnnnn" will make up for our feelings of emptiness.

There may be one or two around Friday, but not everyone will be there, as the Italian stallion has gone back to mama to recuperate for a week, Ben has left and Mark is off sick/holiday at moment (although he normally resurfaces by Friday).

It might be better if we organise something for next Friday if you ladies (using term v. loosely) are free?

Also are you and Lady M going to Ben's drinks on Saturday. I believe he said you were coming. If so, Essex's answer to Morecambe and Wise can meet you somewhere?

Andy

P.s. I don't know if there is any gossip at Monkey LTD because I don't actually bother to talk to anyone here anymore as that would require some kind of effort on my part.


To: Andy

OOOOOOOH!!! She is just a LADY and I am a Queen????? Oh BLEARRRRRSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

I am also 'feeling the burn' although it is the burn of work. It is tres sad. Also. I had a fight with the doorman/receptionist whatever his title is here and now he is withholding our post. I said, er, don't you even KNOW I am friends with a Gun Squad? He laughed. I said, I am also friends with a Slovakian. And I got my post back. But APPARENTLY I have 2 black marks against my name in the system now!!!! You are probably sitting there, scratching your little head and saying, what system? And why 2 black marks? Firstly, I do not know what system. I assume the system of a madman. Secondly, the first mark was because he didn't understand something I told him 4 times. The second mark is because I said: I do not give a shit you silly cockmonkey. As you can see, I borrowed Mark's 'How to make friends and influence people' book. I think it is going well.

Bummer to no drinks this Friday. No to drinks the following Friday because that Friday is HALLOWEEN and I shouldn't have to say anymore. Other than, bat wings, bat ears, Bat out of Hell t-shirt.

I am not sure about Ben's leaving drinks. M is definitely not coming as she is in Canterbury or somesuch. I am not sure because . . . eh. It's you lot.

Rosie
Worthless Monkey
Can do work of up to and including 5 year old children

P.S. Very rude to use the term 'ladies' loosely what with me being a God fearing Christian and all over good citizen


From: Andy

Thank you. I have now added the term cockmonkey to my extensive vocabulary.

I forgot it was Halloween. I don't think I want to imagine trick or treating "M styley" as it probably involves thumb screws.

If you get suicidal/deranged Saturday don't forget you can turn up for an audience with "ghosts of WM LTD" (Ben-past) (Mark-present) (myself-(oh christ I'm depressed) future).

Failing that we can sort out another Friday soon for a "friends of WM LTD" reunion

Andy

P.s WHATEVER