And a comfy bed:
(this is only dangerous for babies)If you do not have a plastic bag to play with then Clyde suggests you go into the garden/street and find some worms to play with. Inside. It will seriously make you happy:
If you do not have a Matt on hand to pick these up off the floor, where they will promptly fall apart into a million pieces, I feel very very sorry for you.
Jess: Oh that is theee cutest!!!! They like being smothered...sort of....not from an arse or anything......so Ro, downloaded The
Pretender. Yup...excellent...
Me: I showed R. He says: Did you get him out?
Me: No. I kicked it round the floor a bit
R: !!!!
Me: Needed a good photo angle
R: !
Me: Whatever dude. He loved it. When I took him out the bag he got all pissed and tried to get back in.
Jess: Oh FFFFFFFFD! Really FL!
Me. HAHA! That's true as well. I would have moved it with my hands but that would have resulted in an amputation carried out by a maniac (Clyde). Similar to what happened to the worms he bought in and played with that Matt had to pick up. Which fell apart in his hands. Which resulted in Clyde's catflap being locked WAY before curfew. Which made him poo all over his catbox which has been unsullied for about a week. Frankly, though, I would rather clean out a catbox than pick up massive huge worms that are wriggling all over the lounge floor that, praise be, have only been brought into the lounge when we have been around to notice and are not, eg, ON MY PILLOW (please please Jesus).
And if he didn't sit in my seat as soon as I get up he wouldn't get smothered by my butt on his head. Yay to you liking The Pretender. I had it on really really loud to drown out the ramblings of A and I think it blew out one headphone. Or my right eardrum.
Jess: Oh God really larfing! And I do like the shouty loud ones.......... I got the new AC/DC album...shouty loud and so sexist.. Grrrrreeeaaaaaatttttttttt!
Sadie: Clyde is so sweeeeeeet!
Me: He was being most decidedly UNsweet last night actually. First there was the worm incident, then there was vicious bag attack and then he kept jumping onto the couch where I was sitting like a flying marmoset with its claws out. Which, fyi, are RAZOR sharp and able to penetrate through a thick red blanket and pajama bottoms.When he bought the worms in, me and Sophie were shrieking like wimmins. I had to hold a wormy wet Clyde who looked mighty pissed at Matt for taking his friends away. The second time Matt shut the lounge door because Clyde had bought one into the hallway and Matt couldn't get it off him. All I could think was, worm juice. On our freshly cleaned floor.
Sophie: I think Clyde was feeling deprived as over a week ago we took all his toys away when we cleaned and we didn't bother putting them back until he started making his own games with worms and plastic bags.
Sadie: Spoke to Mum today, she says she was given GBH - the date rape drug - when she had her throatoscopy thingy. Who'd have thought she'd be the female in the family to be given it......
I'm having to work hard again, my forehead looks like it has been ploughed by a 50 stone ox its that furrowed. And I need breakfast.
Sophie: I'm drinking tea and bopping but my bopping stops because they keep playing such ghastly nonsense on this radio station. There is a song called bongos and it just goes "I like to play my bongos in the morning" urghhhhhhhhhfffff. Anyway, I am working really hard too, but you know me, I like to play that aspect down. Wink wink. Is Grandma Joon feeling any better?
Me: Just like Lassie, Clyde is. Using the interpretive worm dance to convey his meaning. Also, Sade, poor you with the hard work and the furrowed brow!!! And the needing of breakfast is most tragic of all! If you were here, I would totally make you a coffee or tea. OR get S to make you a latte. He is really good at making those and can spend up to and including at least half hour on it
Ps. Sophie. I bet Lulu just text you. I just got her standard weekly message (I bet she has saved this into her phones template message folder) - "What are you doing?"
Sophie: Yes. Every week I reply the same "drinking tea and emailing." I'm at work - what does she think I'm doing?! "Well, I am doing interpretations on the bongo song - I LIKE TO DRINK MY TEA IN THE MORNING, I LIKE TO TORTURE KITTENS IN THE EVENING, I LIKE TO PLAY MY BONGOS IN THE KITCHEN."
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