to me, to you

Mum and Dad and Lulu came over for dinner last night. Sophie cooked Nigella's ham in coke recipe and it was delicious. As Lulu said: "This fake meat is my favourite kind." And then, as we all said, what?

There was also a delicious salad. Again, Lulu had something to say: "Don't waste your calories on salad."

She also told me that my fringe was stupid and made me look like a member of Westlife. This is because I am constantly running my fingers through my hair and eventually my fringe separates into the vair vair attractive boyband curtain style. Actually, thinking about it. I don't know why we allow her over. All she does is insult us and steal our jewellery.

After everyone forgot Lulu had said that, Sophie said: "OMG RONANNNN IS THAT YOUUUUUUU???????" It took me a while to realise what she was talking about. Me: "He was in Boyzone you idiot."

Matt lit all the candles in the lounge. It looked lovely. Except he had not put water and oil in the oil burner so I picked up the little detachable terracotta burner part and I swear to God it was hotter than the sun. AND the only reason I thought it would be ok to pick it up was because I had seen Sophie doing THE EXACT SAME THING. I picked it up between thumb and forefinger. Dropped it onto my wrist. Tried to hold it there but FLESH! BURNING! Somehow managed to drop it onto chest. Gave up. Dropped it onto the floor. Managed not to smash it. Have blister on wrist and thumb that I hold Sophie accountable for.

Today Matt is painting Sophie's bedroom. I told him not to paint over the door frame and not be able to get out. Although I think that only happens when you are wallpapering. And are a Chuckle Brother. He said he wouldn't although you can not count out things like that happening to Matt. Evidenced by the £60 BT call plan somehow we have, even though we do not make any calls.

On Tuesday night I went bowling with M and a girl called Hollie I used to work with. It was good clean fun. Well, until Hollie said M looked very professional handling the bowling balls.

Me: M has very good ball skills

I played absolutely terribly. As I said, it is because my bowling arm is still very very stiff and bruised from falling over a bench.

Me and M shared just ONE bottle of wine. Was at Holborn station by 10pm. Piccadilly line suspended between Kings Cross and Cockfosters. Me - :(

On the platform there is a packed-out tube. Me to the platform man - Hi, could you tell me what is going on please? Him - THERE IS A BODY UNDER THE TRAIN AT WOOD GREEN. DEAD. HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY IT. STOP SHOUTING AT ME.
Me - What? Shouting? I wasn't. I just asked what was happening.
Him - THEY ARE DEAD.
Me - Right. Well. That is very tragic but please could you tell me how to get home?
Him - Oh. OK. Go outside the station and get the 91 bus to Kings Cross then the train to bla and then the bus to blah.
Me - Thank you. That is very helpful.
Him - Thats fine. I'm sorry I shouted at you. It's just I have told the people waiting on this tube for half an hour that it isn't going to move for at least an hour and they keep asking me when it is going to move. .
Me - Oh dear.
Him - I KEEP telling them to just get off the Piccaddilly Line and they aren't listening! I mean, look at them. RAMMED ON.

Anyway. Was not so so terrible journey home. I mean, 2 hours instead of 40 minutes but whatever. The tube, then bus, then train, then bus obviously had some effect though because I totally missed my stop this morning. Was just staring out the window reading the stops and whatnot when noticed as the doors closed we were pulling away from mine. All I could muster was a lame: "Oh darn."


R: Who is the lady at reception? Has A left?
Me: No, he is just on holiday for a couple of days. She is his replacement. He told me her name was Zak. I was like, Zak? He said: "Well some kind of Indian name."
R: Heh God. She bellowed: "Good morning" to me very determinedly at me as I came in.
Me: Probably wondering who this suspicious looking character is entering the building
R: Thanks.


Ah, nice:

To: Erik
From: Rosie


Incase you were struggling with content:

Following the problems in the financial sector in the US , uncertainty has now hit Japan . In the last 7 days the Origami Bank has folded, the Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today’s shares in the Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cuts, the Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but hey remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at the Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Hope all 'good' there and you boys are behaving,

Rosie


From: Erik

I never struggle with content - writing bullshit comes naturally to me...

Hope you're well and enjoying working outside of the monkey group of companies!!! Miss your smile around here...

Erik


From: Rosie

Laughed at "writing bullshit." Funny. Bullshit is a major skill at Monkey Ltd!!!

Hope all is good with you. Hope your children are ok.

I am very well thanks. Moved out of my parents and so now going from one end of the tube line to the other in the morning for work. Sometimes I have a nap and come into work with creases on my face. Bringing the glamour!!!
Love my job. No one has made me go into the mens toilets to get a member of staff to the phone, I am not haggling the price of 99p binbags, searching for Brum dvd's and then getting screamed at for not having time for CR work. It is all pretty weird!

I do miss you all though. People outside of ML are not the same. They're ... normal. You were all such a funny bunch, loved kitchen chats with you.

I still see M. She works near me and meeting for lunch in the pub with her is very dangerous . . .

R


To: Rosie

Glad to hear you're keeping well and enjoying work. You must be so pleased to have ML as a distint memeory (maybe part nightmare?), but life throws all sorts of shit in our path to deal with.

I'm very well, kids driving me insane but that's nothing new. I'm stoical at work, Planet Monkey needs desperate people like me to function, so I have no illusions of what is expected, so in a way I'm happy. One has to question my sanity on that point, though...

Loved the vision of you asleep on the tube (creases ... know the feeling!)

Take care and keep in touch.

Erik


To: Erik

Trying to forget about ML but sometimes the training slips into my everyday life. Like, instead of buying paper towels for the kitchen I just went to the cleaners cupboard and stole a box of them. Also, I was very shocked to learn that petty cash here is just spent on doughnuts. Jam AND custard.

Erik, it is better to think of yourself as the backbone there. And glad to hear your children are ok. They are totally meant to drive you insane.

Ha. I think your vision of me sleeping is possibly a lot nicer than reality. Open mouth, drool etc.

Will definitely stay in touch, you guys are pretty awesome. And one day, I might reconsider and come back. HAHA.

Rosie


To: Rosie

You can check out of Hotel Monkey but you can neverrrrrr leeeeeeave... Think about that when you joke above coming back. Scary thought!!!

Erik