gas

Me: People laying gas main outside making a terrible racket. Floor vibrating. Thinking how I can work this into going home early . . . Beautiful day outside. And A is talking to me again and has given me 2 days worth of post. Cretin

Jess: Fd!- ?possible gas leak - you can smell something off? You should evacuate? Cretin such a great emo word! As is git....

Sophie: The tree men are outside!!! LOVE muscly tree men!

Jess: Gulp.

Me: I can confirm that ours are NOT muscly tree men. And, in fact, appear to be maniacs of the first order

Jess: FFD!!! No we NEVER get the muscles, we get the toothless, foreign, sparsely haired(in a pony tail, what's THAT all about), emphysema lunged (or that's what they sound like to me) old gits.

Me: One is wearing a 'novelty' hard hat that has a bobble on top.

Jess: Tosser.

Me: And, either he has florescent red hair, a curly wig.

Jess: FL!!!

Me:
R: *Shaking hands with some dweebish looking man, soaked and dripping with rain. still. after a meeting* see you on Monday then!! Bye!!!

R: SO???!!! Man!!! Starting!!!!
Me: *.......*
R: Ok, I admit he isn't hot . . .
Me: ..........
R: Married anyway.
Me: .........
R: I tried
Me: FAIL

Jess: Oh really FFFFF at last bit! I thought he was given EXPLICIT instructions from you about ONLY hiring a HOTTIE!!!

Me: This guy looked like Martin from that old show which had Samantha Janus in. Remember? Except about 5 times worse.
Also:
R: Could you tell Alan there is a man coming tomorrow called Andy Mountain
Me: Cool name
R: Yes. I hear he is very . . . 'ANDY!!!!!
Me: . . .
R: HAHAHAH
Me: Oh dearrrrrr

Jess: Oh double dear

Sophie: We get loads of good looking guys here for various maintenance. You should have seen the electricians. One of them came and lay under mine and V's desks and we didn't know what to do with ourselves.

Jess: Oh do fuck off. Jelus.

Me: LAUGHING!! I'D KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

Jess: I'd fucking know too!

Sophie: And now some more are here removing packing crates

Jess: Sophie I'm gonna mash you. But first, I'm gonna write and complain.

Me: That sentence just made me choke on my bagel

Jess: She's such a showoff with her hotty mchosters.

Me: Our office smells like poo. Is this because:

A) I am getting old and not 'in control' anymore
B) R has srsly been eating too many vegetables
C) The maniacs hit a sewer line
D) Someone cooked hairy gorilla balls for lunch

Jess: Well obviously the hairy gorillas is completely feasible, but I'd probably blame R. Just cos.

Me Either:

A) I have become desensitised to the smell
B) My nose hairs have all died
C) I have died

Jess: Or.........it's you making the smell and now can't smell it.

Me: I think R just went out and had a word with the gasmain people. It has all gone VERY silent.
Either:
A) He scared the bejesus out of them and they have runned off
B) They hit him on the head with a shovel and chucked him in the hole.

Jess: or
C) He's just pretended to have a talk but in fact they've finished for the day
D) All of them have been abducted by aliens.

Me: Ooo. plot thickens . . . still totally silent though

Jess: FFD!

Me: I bet the real answer is:
E) Owing to total stupidity, they all fell in the huge hole they dug


Jess: I'll go with that...as it's all males.

Me: They shouldn't have been given a mini digger machine in the first place

Jess: Well obviously as they ARE all males.

Sadie: I read that and thought the gasmain people were like some kind of tribe.

Jess: Oh fuck I lost it at that one!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Me: A tribe of idiots.